You knew that was going to happen, man. It is what it is...

Three things:
1 - Sorry to hear of the medical issue for both you and your mother, but cancer is not always a death sentence. Obviously it isn't a good thing, but it can be beat. Good luck and may God be with you during your fight.
2 - Falling off the wagon is nothing more than a pothole in the road of life. Get past it and continue with your journey. None of us are perfect.
3 - If you can't vent on CP, where can you do it? Draftubator, true fan, Cassel ballwasher, or just plain ass, in the end we're just one big only slightly dysfunctional family and when the defecation hits that proverbial oscillating device someone will generally have your back.

Smed if you were strong enough to kick the bottle for two years you can sidestep this bump in the road and keep on cruising. Thoughts your way buddy.

Hang in the Smed, am praying & rooting for ya to beat the C word. One day at a time and if need be one moment at time.

I've been on the waggon since my Dad died in October of 2009. Never easy and seems like a constant battle. Every day is a new day and all we can do is make the best of it as it comes.

I am greatful I can call you friend Smed & look forward to playing some more TH ~ now that's where you can vent after I take mo of you moneys. :evil:

For some, drinking isn't as simple as having a couple and then stopping. It is a cycle of having a couple, and then a few more later, and being far from drunk, but still havign had 5 drinks in a few hours. Keep that up, and then start tossing in some drinks with friends where you have 8 in a couple hours. Go home, have a couple more with a pizza. '

Take that example and you might think it sounds fine if you aren't needing to be "on the wagon" but for some, that becoms a habit that expands to being every day life, and then they get to where even those 8 beers with friends hardly effect them, so they have to drink more to get the same buzz, and the cycle grows. For those people....the only way to stop the cycle is to never take a drink.

I knew a guy from my hometown that donated blood every single chance he could, and his reason was that it was the only way that he could feel anything off of a 12 pack of beer. So he would have a carton of cigaretts and 12 pack of beer cold and waiting for him after each donation. That is the type that needs the wagon to get things on track.

Good luck Smed. Talking about things helps, so vent away.

This.

Plus, if still possible, I'd delete the thread.

We've all been in some similar place (addiction, personal illness, loss of a loved one, got canned) and just didn't know when to push the keyboard away.

Already said a prayer for you but you have to help yourself as well.

Hang in there.

Hang in there smed... sending love and good vibes your way, man. You can get through this... positive energy is what you need, my friend.

In the face of those life-altering events, you could have done worse. Fight that ****ing cancer and take your other issues one day at a time. If you have the will power and ambition to fight addiction, you've got what it takes to battle cancer.

We're here for you.
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Best to you smed... there's some good advice is here.

Everyone saying it's okay is full of shit. It's not okay. If you've been on the ****ing wagon for 2 years, you'd better get right back on it. You've got problems in your life, but they're only going to be exacerbated if you can't control your drinking.

Cut the bullshit. Get yourself to a meeting. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop drinking.

I don't know you, but I'm sure you've got people in your life who care about you, and you owe it to all of them as well as yourself to get yourself right.

Sorry to hear that man. I knew something was up . Positive thoughts.

Focus on staying positive. Thoughts your way.

Thanks for your honesty. Very valueable to share what your mind is on before relapses, so others can see what the warning signs are.

I took me a while to figure out, but it hurts the people that care for you more. To me booze never does anything but make my problems worse. Good luck.