well sheeeeit!
I actually have a couple a good stories. just FORGET IT!
you bastards......

**** them. I'd like to read your stories. This gloom and doom place could use some humor.

well....aight den....
Yeah I got one! Actually I got two!
I have lamented over not more carefully documenting various other happenstances along the way that will now be lost to time and faulty memories.
Young parents…that stupid memories book you got at the baby shower…..USE IT!

First story…..
My son was 4 maybe 5….my daughter is two years older so she’s 7 and we had a bullmastiff named Tank. (best dog EVER) My wife hollers Frank you gotta come here your son needs you. He’d just got outta the shower and I walk in his room, my wife just smiles and leaves. I ask him what’s up and he grabs his penis…stretches it up towards his belly button and points to his testicles and says “Dad…what’s these ball thingys?”. Those exact words. I’m laughing even now writing this. Too damn funny. But wait! There’s more! I explain to him as best I can. Boys have them girls do not, it’s how we’re made…etc. He thinks about it for a second glance over at the dog and says “So does Tank have them?” Yup, sure does (he was uncut…honestly I have no idea how that dog could even run!!). He tries to get a look so I turn ole Tank around and lift his tail a little. He’s kind squatting down behind Tank checking out the situation and as if on cue…..as if in the scene of a movie…my daughter walks by the door of his room, looks in and yells “EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! MOOOOOMMMMM!” It was just too damned funny!

Second story…..
They are about the same age (don’t let them grow up) and we had driven out into the country on the 4th of July, the four of us and my parents, to shoot off fireworks. We’re on county line and see a van in the ditch. Sun is almost down and it’s getting pretty dark. Dad grabs a flashlight and we can see blood inside. So we climb down there and nose around to make sure no ones in the van unconscious or something. Looked like somebody smacked the windshield on impact and got bloodied up a little, but no one was in the van. Probably driving drunk and hiked it out of there.
So we shoot off fireworks and later we’re driving home and all of a sudden from the third row seat my daughter yells “DAD! He just said a cuss word!” referring to my son. So he yells…all pissed off….I mean screaming at the top of his lungs….cause he HATES big sis telling on him or correcting him….he yells ”NO I DIDN’T! I just said the man drove the van into the bitch!” He was so young…he thought the ditch was a bitch ya see. After the laughter died down I said ”Well son, that could very well be what he was trying to do…but then he hit the DITCH.” We laughed all the way home.
So that was the day my son learned the difference and meanings of the words bitch and ditch. The end.

I threw a ball and hit my son in the groin. He yelled out "awe, right in the nuts". Several minutes later, my daughter, then about 3 yo, has the ball bounce up and hit her in the upper leg. She bends over and says "right in the nuts". My son and I just looked at each other.

LMAO Awesome. The first story ROFL

LMAO