I'm a people watcher.

I could tell a ton of hilarious stories.

Just in the past week I saw someone moving all their stuff. They put the toilet (who the hell moves the toilet with them?) right smack dab in the middle of the couch and strapped out all down.

Ive even got pictures.

I had an uncomfortable experience this summer. I was reviewing security footage on two of my cameras one Saturday and there was this ragtag looking old hide loitering around my garage door out in the alley. She was smoking something and I couldn't tell if it was a vape, or a crack pipe. She was also leaning on the door and pushing on it.

The young neighbor's to the west have security cameras as well and I noticed they were out in there back yard. I went over to the fence to give them a heads up about "some crazy lady hanging out in the alley." They asked what she looked like and after the description, my neighbor lady chimes in with, "that's my Mom, she's down visiting."

I was like, "oh shit, I'm sorry about that." They both laughed and said, but she is kind of crazy!" It also turned out it was a vape pipe. They are fantastic neighbors, and took it very well.

As a bonus, I saw "Mom" down visiting a couple extra times after that and saw her walking down the alley, but she didn't come over and lean/push on the garage door. They must have mentioned the cameras. :hmmm:
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When you’ve gone through that much shit together sometimes its tough the let go.

Forward progress!!

There was a guy on my dad's crew that was the living embodiment of Albert King's "Born Under A Bad Sign". If there was any possible way something bad could happen, it'd happen to him. On top of that, he was real nervous.
So it came to pass that he had to repair a case of trouble in a bad neighborhood and was just ready to come down off the pole when a large dog appeared at the bottom. Usually you can yell or throw something at the damn thing and they'll run away long enough to get down, pick up what you threw at them and get out. Well, not this dog. He threw everything in his tool pouch except his handheld telephone (dumbell). So he calls my dad to come out and chase the dog away. In the meantime, the dog had awaked some of the local "entrepreneurs" and they weren't too happy since they thought poor Ollie might be tapping their phone, so out come the Glocks. Not good. Even after Ollie explained he was just fixing a phone, they were having none of it and couple shots were fired in his direction.
My dad, along with local law enforcement (it was a REAL bad neighborhood), arrived just in time to see Ollie unbelt and jump from the pole and behind a fence. Unfortunately, there was a pretty steep hill on the far side of the fence, so Ollie rolled down it, into the street, and the squad car rolled over his foot. Cops jump out, arrest some folks, and call an ambulance. They never did back all the tools since, in all the excitement, other locals gathered them all up. Like I said, it was a bad neighborhood.

One time lewdog made guacamole strips...

I was sitting by a new guy at a large staff meeting, one day. The guy speaking had three fingers missing. We also had two other guys that were missing a hand. While the fingerless guy was speaking about an upcoming luncheon, I leaned over and said to the new guy “there’s a lot of people missing their extremities around here”. Not five seconds later, the speaker said “we’ll be having finger foods”. The new guy literally laughed so loud that it just shut the meeting down. He couldn’t control it. I felt so bad for him, but it was ******* hilarious at the same time.

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Touche. Lol

LMAO. I think he was messing with you. I know a guy at work that's a civilian technician that has a crazy lazy eye. I can never tell which eye to look at. Everyone you focus on one He looks at you with the other. It's like conversation ping pong - I think he likes doing it to **** with people.

If I'm pulling out my nightstick there is only one area getting a beat down :D

Wtf. People are weird.

Sorry didn't mean to downvote that. Glad he didn't kick you out :)

I stopped in a Walgrens looking for the only thing I ever found that would get rid of chiggers. Chigarid. Best thing I ever found to get rid of those itching mofos. Anyways, After looking for a few minutes without any luck, I walked up to this female employee who was just finishing up with talking to two older black women. She turns from them to me and I say 'Do you have any Chigarid here?' She got this surprised look on her face, looks back at the two black women then to me and said 'Pardon me' I said 'Chigarid,it's used to get rid of chiggers'. She gave a quick glance to the women then looked back at me, face turning red and said "No, No we don't have ANYTHING like THAT'.
She turned and kinda corralled the black women down the aisle away from me saying something about what they were looking for was down here.
ROFL
Thats when I figured out what the problem was. ROFL

Edit: Never did find any Chigarid

We were shooting a video for a client's national conference. A hype video interviewing customers about how much they loved the brand (It was a national ice cream parlor chain)

Well, they had just gone through a really big re-design converting a couple local locations into "THE STORE OF THE FUTURE" that was designed less like an ice cream shop and more like Starbucks, where you order at one counter and pick up your stuff at the other end of the counter. I thought that was dumb, since the best part of ordering ice cream is looking down into the flavor tubs -- who the hell wants to go order at a register at one end like Starbucks?

Well, they pick the location to shoot the video, and it's an older store over in Santa Monica.

I asked, 'Why aren't we shooting at the store of the future"

my client rep says...

"Because The Store of the Future is not the direction the company is headed."