1 weekend when I was 18..
They wanted me to role on some kids. I wouldn't, so they held me for the legal 78 hours they could. Then a Sarpy County judge made them release me.

In the mean time. I snapped a guy's arm in two. Between his elbow and his shoulder. Arm wrestling for a cig.

In the end. I did around 70 hours and Sarpy County did around 70k fixing what was left of that inmates shoulder.

Once when I was like 15 then released to my parents like two hours after getting there. Skateboarding and a mouthy buddy that pretty well dared the cops to do something

Then got an all nighter my last week at college for a fun parking lot fight in downtown st joe. Nothing too juicy

Same buddy was at both arrests. No coincidence. Just a couple brief appearances in jail

No prison. Yet!!

Have I went to jail?

Yes. Many, many times.

In 1979 I got arrested for "littering" in a county park. It was at the Fingers Lakes just north of Columbia. It was this old strip mining plot of land, and my friend Blair (who was a Columbia Local) took me an a couple other guys up there to drink and smoke and shoot bottle rockets. This was a couple days before the fourth of July. The strip pits were full of water. You could shoot off a bottle rocket, and if it fired before it hit the water, it would go down into the strip pit, blow up under water, and light up the whole pit. Very cool, right? So after about an hour, this Jeep Wagoneer with a canoe on the top comes up the road. We thought it was some guy out there who must have been boating. it was a Boone County Park Ranger. He said we were trespassing on County Land. Blair said "since when?" Ranger said "This area became designated as a future Boone County Park last Monday. Have you boys been drinking?" He called another deputy, another cop car shows up, and we were all arrested for trespassing and littering." They took us to the Boone County Jail and we sat for about four hours until Blair's Dad (A Columbia Doctor) bailed us out. It cost me $200, which is 1979 was a LOT of money.

Anyway, that's the only time I was locked up. Ironically, I spent a LOT of nights in both the Boone County Jail and the Columbia City Jail when I was a reporter. We'd have to go check the booking blotter in the wee hours of the morning to see if anything happened overnight before the early morning newscasts.

One of my college DJ pals years later became the Columbia Chief of Police. He's retired now, and works part time as a bicycle cop on the KATY trail near Columbia.

He's lucky he didn't bump into me he would have been staying in a hospital instead of a jail

Damn you guys were dumb I would have ran

I could never be caged up like that 24/7 .
I'd rather be dead.

Detective Bink is who came to my parents house, then lied about just needing me to answer a few questions. When he knew along,if I didn't give up the names he wanted. He was gonna lock me up and hold me for as long as he could.

I'm sure Detective Bink is long gone from this world.
Thank you.. for putting there for as long as you did.
Probably the most important 70 hours of my teens

There was no way to "run." We were out in the middle of nowhere, sitting on top of this big pile of chert and rubble from the strip mining, and our car was about 50 yards away. This was out in the middle of frickin' nowhwere, which is why we went there in the first place. I think the park ranger dude was just trying to impress the Boone County Sheriff guys. Anyway that was 40 years ago.

When I was around 14 or 15, I was driving my dad's speed boat while he was water skiing and nobody else was in the boat as an observer* which wasn't legal at the time in Missouri.

Since I didn't have an ID and I was technically at fault as the pilot and since the boat was registered in Kansas and they supposedly had no other way to make sure the fine got paid...

The friendly Missouri water sheriff 'booked' me at county jail. Although I wasn't actually put in the slammer and my dad got me out shortly after I arrived.

*If we had had a wide angle mirror, I think it might have been OK.

Once... driving on a suspended license. 8 hours then bailed out.

I was grabbed from behind on the vegas strip once by Vegas vice. Was a sting operation....they thought I had just purchased drugs from an undercover cop.

Scared the livin' crap out of me. once they figured I wasnt the guy, they were super apologetic, gave me their cards......i think they were a bit worried.

Took several hours for my heart rate to come down to normal that night.

Closest I've been, and don't want to ever come any closer.

Have you ever went to jail?
 

No, and I've never gone to jail, either. That's not say I've never done stuff. I guess I was lucky. Or blessed? I dunno, something like that. Seriously, I sometimes look back at my teenage years and wonder how I didn't end up in jail or dead.

That being said, I did get arrested when I was 15. I was fortunate that my mom came to pick me up right before they were gonna take me to juvenile jail.

Been in jail numerous times, most of the time paid the lawyer what it would cost to get the charges dropped. Other times the DA chose not to prosecute. Be challenging to prosecute an illegal arrest. That’s what Wichita PD brings to the table. The 2nd challenge is getting the arrest expunged from your record. Numerous times during background checks I have to explain arrests that happened several decades ago. All there is a record that I got arrested nothing else. Apparently every time an individual gets arrested it gets reported to the FBI. In Wichita I was an avionics engineer with one of the aircraft corporations. Finished up night flight checks on several new aircraft. Got back to the house late, neighbor was in his yard drinking with some strange. Invited me over for a drink. We’re drinking away, next thing you know a car pulls up In front of the house, a dumbshit jumps out. Rips off his shirt. (Lady’s husband, who my neighbor was long dicking) Bull rushes me. Of Course being a CP member I asked myself, What would Titty Meat do (WWTMD) So, of course right before he got to me I stood up and threw all I had into his face. He staggered back, started crying and said he was going to call the cops. Several days later I got a call to the police station for a chitchat. I went there, they took my fingerprints for my protection. Told them my side of the story. Several weeks later I got a court date for assault. I went to the court date, was told the DA how chosen not to prosecute at this time, but will retain the right to prosecute if I get it not anymore trouble in the next two years. Decades later I do the paperwork to get into o a nuclear power plant to commission a control system for robotic welders. I get called into HR at the plant for not listing an arrest. The FBI conducts the background checks for the nuclear power plants. The FBI had that incident in Wichita as an arrest. I told hr I never had cuffs so I didn’t consider that an arrest and that is why I didn’t list it. Welp, Wichita Police Department had reported it to the FBI as an arrest. HR/Security at the Comanche Peak Nuclear Power Plant understood why I didn’t consider it an arrest. But, they inform me anytime you get fingerprints taken that is considered an arrest, who knew? Anyway the ooploopa that I tittymeated, his cheating wife vouched for him that I allegedly sucker punched him.

For 30 minutes. Got pulled over, failed a sobriety test because I'm uncoordinated and have an astigmatism. Went to the jail blew a .00 on the test. Highlight was seeing a girl have to pull out her titties to get the titty rings off to get booked into jail lol.

This one time at band camp....