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Man once when I was 9 I had wicked ass diarrhea in a Sears. I must've been on the pot for like 45 minutes. That's the kind of shit you remember, especially when you're a kid because it's more intense than anything else you've ever experienced. My dad was like, "I'm gonna take your mom and sister home and then come back, okay?" and when he came back I was still there and had more butt pee to leak out.

That bathroom was dirty and not at all a Kohl's bathroom. Make your bathrooms nicer for 9-year olds to take 45-minute shits in, and maybe you'd still be in business, Sears.

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What was the chain name?

Kum n Go, perhaps ?

Correct. I met a nice muscular Hispanic man online at the gas station

OP did u moan when u wiped?

Did you score some nice middle aged mom pussy, OP?

Did you earn some Kohl’s Cash?

SR is your butthole waxed

Think it's bad at 40? Wait until you are 60 ..

I'm waiting for someone to tell a story of standing up to pee at a Urinal only to realize it's not a fart that accompanied your need to take a pee.

I hate the off season.

this guy?

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I shat a Kohl’s today—oh, boy
I’m a lucky man who laid the snake.
And though the stench was rather bad
Well, I just had to flush
I was in a rush.
I blew my ass out in a stall
But I still noticed that nice music played
I chose to squat instead of sit
I’d seen this place before
Nobody was there to see how clean that they had mopped the floor.

I wiped my ass today oh boy.
Someone else had left a pellet turd
In a stall that turned me off
But I just had to look
That dam bathroom crook

(refrain)
I should have flushed it down…

(Bridge)

Woke up, turned on the tube.
Rubbed one out without no lube.
Found my way downstairs and saw an ad.
Kohl’s has half-off coats. Not bad!
Ate granola. Off I went.
Felt an oncoming bowel event.
Found my way inside and towards the back.
The lighting was soft and I went into a stall.

(interlude)
Unh-ugh-ugh-ugh
Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-aaah


I shat at Kohl’s today--oh, boy
Low background music and clean countertops.
I never sat down in the stall
I made a new poop thread
Now you know how nice it is to fill the toilet bowl at Kohl’s

I’d love to flush it down.

Does this off season live near you?