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I've read all I need to to know who the real jack-off is here. :p |
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This actually reminds me of something that happened at school...
One day a couple of girls got bored and started searching files on their computers...one of them found a folder of at least 50 porn files, and the other went to a folder of the same name and found the same files. They told a friend sitting next to me, she looked it up, and found it on her account...so everyone figured out that these files were on every computer and the "last opened" date was about 12:30 AM that morning. I didn't bother trying to find the folder myself, so I was looking at the list of files on the screen of the person next to me. The titles consisted of everything from "XXX Girls" to "Wild Teen Girls"...a couple others that were a little more shocking, but I can't remember them right now. Anyway, I was looking at her monitor and see this smudge at the top left of her screen. After it was pointed out to her, she jumps out of her chair and pretty much yells, "OH MY GOD! SOME PERVERT WAS DOING THAT IN MY CHAIR!!!" Since she was unable to tell the teacher that it was nothing, she told about everything that was found. Everyone had assumed that it was one of the janitors, but jumped to a different conclusion when someone from administration was fired and kicked out of their house about a month later. |
If you don't torture that guy, with at least one idea that comes from the day crew, every day for a month.......you're a puss.
1. I'd be using the cleaning equivilent of Napalm on everything within 3' of my desk. I think you should go immediately to ToysRUs and buy one of those BopBags with a clown picture on it.......blow it up, and put it on his desk before he comes in Monday. Immediately change his nametag to "spanky" Some Monkey Spank haiku is also required. Barn Door is open. So, At work you punch the Clown Cleanup on Isle 5 |
Work is so boring
Fire Me Boy's computer calls shut the door and spank. |
Im bored... what to do?
Ill whack it at this comp here... Oh yeah!! wait, who's there? |
Drop your peewee Taco
nasty crap spackled keyboard cheeto bag, Yours. |
ROFL
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Ah, masturbating.
I love working overtime. Getting paid to spank. |
open mesh task chair
liquid paper lubricates love in afternoon |
Came to work to check the clock,
Suprised to see you tug your cock Tug and Pull and all the rest What Fug?! You're At MY DESK? Drop your Prick and step away The Porn you picked, Midget Gay? Don't slow down, going faster When it comes to Baiting, You're the Master |
A monitor and door is all you need
To spill the junk we use to breed. |
Hickory dickory dock
Stop whacking off at my desk! |
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It is very nice of you to not mention he was at the planet looking at a pic of phob....
was it bookmarked bighead? |
Fire Me Boys office
His underwear is not here Guess I'll surf the net |
Reading thru the thread
The Chicken Choking Haiiku Spit Coke out my nose! |
This isn't slipping past the day crew on my watch.
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Yeah, I was going to bump it tomorrow.
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Heh. Great story. Here's what I'd do:
If you work at a big company with "big brother" type security, then I think you have to rat the guy out. Otherwise, you stand to lose your job for looking at porn (which you didn't do). If you "are the tech guy," as you say, and you no that no one else is checking your computer's history, I'd probably just tormet the guy over the next few months with tons of pun and maturbatory euphamisims. Of course, I'd wipe down the stuff on your desk. but honestly, being overly concerned about heath in this situation is silly. Sperm and most diseases can't live outside of the body for long at all, and are usually easily killed with basic cleaning supplies like Windex. Just wipe shit down, and you'll be fine. Finally, next time you are stroking it on company time (we all do it, right?), I'd walk over to his cube, cum in his lap, and leave without saying a word. |
Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
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But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else. Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners? My point is simply that cum in your chair is gross, but it's not a health risk. That's all. |
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Geez, at least have the common courtesy to hit the waste basket. |
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I'm not concerned about the health risks, there are none. I'm not concerned about getting fired -- it's a small company and I'm the ONLY person here that would have any frickin' clue as to how to track something like this (that's why I'm the tech guy). I'm only concerned about the "ewwww" factor, which hits about a 9.8. Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
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You can clean your monitor with this..err these..
WARNING boobie pic inside. http://www.25-88.com/clean_your_monitor/brush.swf |
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whoa. that was a goocher. http://users.110.net/~ps3776/stand/stand.jpg |
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So, this morning has been, to say the least, awkward. The perp (perv?) has done a REALLY good job of being in another room all day so far... we'll see how long this keeps up, no pun intended. |
This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
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Little Boy Blue.
Not anymore |
Upon further review, I find it strange to see Fire Me Boy bring our attention to "a guy" whacking it at FMB's desk, then have FMB put a pic of a girl fisting her own mouth in his avi.
Coincidence? :hmmm: |
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I agree, yoou don't want strange butt sweat mixing in with your own |
Yech. Sorry you went through that. I remember walking in on the school spaz back in Junior High one afternoon when Coach asked another guy and I to go back to the locker room for some equipment.....Dumb bastard ended up leaving school a couple of months later. Can't imagine why.
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Yeah dude, you could have at least knocked |
:shake:
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I nominate this thread for inclusion in the Hall of Classics. A second motion anyone?
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Fire Me Boy, I would deftinaly just get me a desk, computer, chair, whatever, since lord knows where the hell his splooge went.
If someone was jacking off on my desk, I would make that motherf**ker buy everything in terms of property damage. |
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BTW, has your co-worker ever heard of "hookers?" I mean, he could have just get a little money and get the real pussy. |
So, do you have a pull-out keyboard tray? Or is his cheese just coating the underside of your desk? Well, at least you have an explanation for those "dandruff" flakes you get all over your thighs.
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Moved to the Hall.
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My very first Hall of Classics thread... I'm honored.
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Bravo dude, Bravo
:clap: |
Rep for the hall inclusion.........U DA MAN!:clap:
Good to see you joined this most exclusive club.:rolleyes: |
WOW
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yo
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Just a random bump?
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Sounds like you need some mind clorox......eew. And I would hit the whole area with a blacklight.
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Thankfully, my workplace is roughly 1,100 miles away now.
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LMAO wow, that would suck!!!
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