Real question:

You're joking, right?

I haven't read all the comments, but I'm sure this has been brought up already.

Don't be needy or clingy. Be confident, even a little cocky. I'm not saying be an asshole, just maintain the upper hand. Contrary to popular belief woman generally don’t like yes men, and the ones that do, you want no part of. On the first date, even if you're hitting it off perfectly; end it early "you already had plans later or some shit" don't call her back for a few days. Basically, don't come across as needing a girl friend. Just be casual and funny. I'm not single anymore, but I used to like to shock them a little. I'd say shit like "wow, I love your hair, I bet it looks even better when you wash it". LOL I even told this one chick on our second date “I love your hair cut, it makes your head look normal” good shit… Although I have to admit you need to be pretty confident to pull it off, oh and don't play like that with a chick with self esteem problems...lol not pretty.

Take your time, don’t jump into a relationship to simply be with someone. Hey, I’m all for the old saying “the best way to get a chick out of you head is to get another one in your bed” just don’t have them ****ing move in with you or some shit. It’s been my experience that Woman take a little longer than men to show affection, but un-like men when they fall for someone they fall hard and fast. Be upfront! If it works out it works out.

I think aloof would be a wonderful fit for you. Think emulating Sherlock Holmes.

Some of you couldn't get your dick wet in a shower

ROFL This coming from a guy with a user name of "Blueballs" LMAO classic

Be yourself, Red. Just go to different places being yourself. You won't find who you're looking for-- she'll find you.

Don't listen to him Red. You'll never find a woman.

SR, I think you should take some time now for introspection. Get to know yourself, find the real you. Buy a yoga mat and a Ravi Shankar cd. Spend a day at the spa - get a massage, a facial and a pedicure. Take an afternoon at a teahouse with a good friend. Go for a long walk in the woods. Drink hazelnut coffee on the patio in the morning. Attend a gallery opening. Relax in a bubble bath with a romance novel, a box of chocolates, a bottle of tequila rose, a jar of apricot preserves and a jar of baby oil. Treat yourself to a "movie marathon" porn night, complete with popcorn and [I]lots[I] of extra butter.

Just remember, the ladies won't love you until you learn to love yourself. You'll know when you're ready.

Just don't do anything you'll feel guilty about later.

Yeah, cuz there are so many hawt chickies here..... NOT
Besides, Mr. Senile, I went to a bar and netted a young bartender, not an Army chick,

what's wrong with tieing her up with a net? I suppose you would just use handcuffs :rolleyes: sooooo original.....

why not, they hold us "hostage" - mentally, spiritually, financially. F the whores, women are all whores, it's just a question of when they are going to rip your heart out. But even knowing this, I can't stay away from them. Ain't it a bitch?

BTW, you can't "do" anything to get the girls, just be yourself. It's better that way when it actually does work.

Pretending to be someone you're not will work about as well as a cardboard dick.

Try the "thats someone who might castrate me if I'm a prick...'s daughter" and I'll treat her with respect, method.