that's cool...i understand.
what i'm saying is sometime in life, you're going to have to take out that first loan. and if you've never taken out a loan before, you're probably going to have to have a cosigner. if it's my kid, i'll go ahead and take the chance.
sec

My parents did that for my first car as well...they knew i wouldnt **** up

well even quite a few years ago when I was working summer jobs you could make several thousand dollars in just one summer. that would buy a car today, not just back then. what is wrong with them working and saving money instead of teaching them to live on credit at the very max they can afford and more, right out of the financial womb?

Everyone has different philosophies. When I was a young pup all I could afford were $500.00 clunker cars. I'd drive them till they stopped running. When I had finally had enough, and wanted a better car, my Dad co-signed for the loan. I had never had any debt so I didn't have a credit rating and I couldn't get a loan on my own name. To this day, I still have a lot of gratitude and respect for my Dad because he trusted me enough to help me out. When my daughter gets to the point that she needs my help, I will gladly do it. I think I'll get as much out of it as she will.

No, it was a bad decision. I knew it even as I did it. I let myself fall too hard too fast. And I'm also more trusting than I need to be. People can tell you shit until they're blue in the face. Until you go out and make the stupid mistake for yourself, you just don't learn. I spent my whole life learning from my older brother's mistakes. Guess I just needed to make a few of my own.

We all make mistakes. I once loaned my oldest brother $500.00. It took years to get that back. My wife never lets me forget it.

Two rules my dad always hammered into my head.

1. Never co-sign.
2. Never borrow against your retirement.

Well, I guess he tried to hammer into my head.

He was the hardest person to tell this to. I knew what he would say before he said it. What surprised me was what he said after "you knew better". He said that most people learn lesson in love the hard way. Mine was just a little pricier. My dad's the best.

My credit was good enough to get him $12K worth of loans and a vehicle. I also have a few I took out in just my name. Now, I'm back to where I was 10 years ago on my credit. Trust me, I will never forget. At least not for five years.

I not fully up to speed on the story. Is he not making the payments at all?

nothing's wrong with that...but somewhere in life, chances are you're going to have to get a loan. you can write down everything you've paid for in cash on that loan app, but if you've never taken out and paid off a loan, the lender is probably going to want a cosigner.

i'm no expert on this, outside of the fact that i couldn't get my first loan without a cosigner.
sec

i believe it's 7 years actually.

you can build credit history without using big-ticket installment debt.

i am really only in favor of borrowing for a house, but that is just my philosophy.

That sucks you fell hard for the guy but you learned your lesson. Never give in to financial shit and if they don't like it tough ****in luck...people should be understanding...

Don't let yourself be put in that situation again, don't fall hard either....give it time, always

I meant that it will take five years to get paid off. Sucks being tied to someone you wish you'd never met.

is it a car? why don't you apply some pressure for him to refinance or sell the car and buy a cheaper one he can get a loan for?

you still have a severe amount of exposure... since his credit is already crap it won't hurt him to stop paying tomorrow. that's why reputable lenders won't loan him money to begin with. people can end up in bankruptcy because of this stuff. there may be a bad credit lender who will loan him enough for a beater which it sounds like is all he should be buying.

you can't legally make him do anything with all the stuff he bought because he owns it but i would be trying to get him to take your neck off the chopping block any way possible

He said he's making last month's along with this month's. He's technically defaulted on last month's payment. I could have them repossess it now, and get a head start on rebuilding my credit. However, he owes me other money besides making the car payment, and it's the only way he has to get to work. Otherwise, I'd have the car sold or repo'ed.

for a small fee i know someone who will get him in the black w/ intrest.

I told him that, if he didn't make the payments, I'd find out what I needed to do to get the car sold. Basically, if he defaults on another payment, I'd have them repossess it or find a way to sell it even against his will. Both of our names are on the title, but mine's listed first. Don't know if that means I have any special rights, but I'll be finding out. I think it was enough to scare him. He started asking me how he was supposed to get to work. I told him he wouldn't have to worry as long as he made the payments.

If he dies, the car gets paid off. :hmmm:

Of course, the same goes for me.

Sounds like a real winner....with tons of excuses and won't amount to shit...tell him to ride a bike, car pool etc

Yeah, he's completely full of shit. I don't believe a word he says until he actually acts on it.

I wouldn't give him any benefit of the doubt period, be a hardass about this the whole time.

Oh, trust me. I've been riding his ass for the past month. Now, I have to be prepared to act on my words. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! :evil:

sell off your half of the loan to someone who needs a kidney

I'm dead serious, the guy obviously doesn't give a shit about you, picture him degrading you in the worst possible way, no ****ing way you take any shit from him or any dude period again unless you're really insecure. Hardass all the way....

which is why you should not be doing him any favors or trusting him at all... i would talk to a lawyer about the car. if your name is on the title too you might be able to do something.

he is not trustworthy. he WILL continue to screw you as long as you let him. the mission is to get your name off everything related to him.

i 100% guarantee that you will end up with a repo and credit that is totally annihilated rather than just damaged if you keep trusting this clown

Exactly...

luv, maybe you shouldnt of met some strange guy over the internet and you wouldnt of had that problem LOL.

Seriously did you actually think you could meet a trustworthy guy over the net???

people like this don't just become shady suddenly. his own mother probably knows better than to leave her purse alone in a room with him.

Side story:

Back when I lived in St. Louis, a friend of mine was looking to buy a house. We were both about 25, and both single, and I like looking at houses, so I went with him to be a second set of eyes.

He had the worst Realtors on the planet, a husband and wife team that had absolutely no interest in him at all. All they wanted to do was sell him a house as fast as possible and make their money. They were horrible, and I kept telling him to fire them, but for some reason he felt like he shouldn't. So we'd go into houses, and you'd see a crack in the foundation with water pouring through it, and they'd say, "Oh, that's not a problem. It's like a fountain." And you'd go into another house and there would be poltergeists flinging axes at you and they'd say, "Once they get used to you, they'll probably stop that." These people were flat-out slimy.

At some point, my friend found a house he liked, and it was a little above his range. They were pushing pushing pushing him to buy it, and he said something like, "I don't think I can even get a loan for that amount, much less make the payments."

The sleazy wife said, "Don't worry about the loan. Just get your friend there to sign for it."

I said, "What?"

She said, "Oh, yeah. You just sign a quit-claim deed, and your friend can get the house."

I said, "I don't think you understand. I'm just tagging along to help him look."

She said, "Don't worry about it. He'll make the payments. You're just signing the loan so he can get approved."

Recall that I was only 25 and didn't know much about this stuff, but even so, that didn't seem like a good idea. I said, "If I sign the loan, I'm presumably responsible for it if he defaults."

She said, "He's your friend. He won't default."

"So I am responsible for it, then."

"Only technically."

This woman proceeded to argue with me that I should sign my friend's MORTGAGE LOAN, and the husband was backing her up. They were so pathetic and dishonest it was laughable.

Luv, if your name is on the title, it's not stealing if you take the car. I'm not sure if he would have to sign the sales paperwork, but you could at least take the car.

ROFL

i think in some states they put "and" or "or" on the title. if it's "or" or if there's nothing then one person might be able to sell it... not sure. i dont have any titles like that.

i think if her name is on the title and the loan both, it's just as much her car as it is his

Don't even let it default. Give him a date, if it's the due date or the day before it's considered late... and tell him you will get it repossessed if it's not paid each month by that date.

I know you're trying to get other money back, too, but it sounds like eventually you'll have to cut your losses.

You should push and push and push until he gets tired of having you around and then he'll figure out a way to get your name off the loan. I doubt he wants 5 years of a pissed off woman on his back.

By "date", Bearcat doesn't mean "date". He means "date".

Always trust expertlaw.com. It has the word 'expert' in it! :p

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4241

I ran into that once
my wifes name and mine were there so I needed both signatures to do anything

that's why you always ask for "and/or"

Luv, whatever you do don't let that car get repo'd, when that happens the bank auctions it off, and they don't give a shit what they get for it because you'll be responsible for the difference.

That's not a bad idea, if you have a set of keys to it I'd take it and stash it somewhere. Hell even if you don't have keys you could probably get it towed somewhere. If you're going to take the financial hit from it at least don't give him the pleasure of keeping the car.

Or if nothing else, go rent a car, buy the insurance waiver and drive it into the other car. Make sure you're going really fast to ensure that you total it out. Then the insurance company will pay off the loan for you.

Just had to go back and look.....Sheesh I meant no harm. Didn't know anything about your friend other than you got to go to Vegas. If you have a problem with me then call, but never ever post a smartass reply about me boohooing about my life! I am fine. Actually, better than I have been in years. So grow up and have a little respect! I respect you. I didn't know that you can control all Luv. Good for you babe!

OK, mom

So if you only knew I went to Vegas to have fun gambling with a friend, you think that gave him the free pass to sleep around? That makes no sense.

Having a little respect also means that I share stuff about my life and no one else's. You respect me. I respect you.

no offense... but... after ordering the car to be repo-ed... this is the worst advice possible.

I suspect that, as this thread continues, you'll discover that worse advice is possible.

the theme of this thread does not seem to correlate
to the thread title

New word of the day? :p

perhaps. no one has yet suggested killing him at least.

i set the bar for luv extricating herself from this situation at 'not committing a felony'.

if crimes are permissible, simply forging his signature on the title and selling the car would suffice. at least it would be inconspicuous, or less conspicuous than crashing a rental car into a car that you own at high speed.

heck you can do years in federal for insurance fraud, she may not do any time for forgery.

it's a trap
run
run

I'm not exactly up for anything that stands me a 1% chance of winding up in jail. Whatever I do will be legal. You can rest assured of that.

Yeah, as if she was going to go right out and do that. :rolleyes: Good lord, feel free to pull the stick out of your ass once in while.

Although I was serious about snagging the car and stashing it. Why should she let him enjoy something he's not paying for?

I know.

Well, why would he keep paying for the car if he can't drive it? If his credit is zero, what's it matter? He'll just quit paying and the bank will repo it, and she gets hurt, not him.

Give him antifreeze!

Updated the OP. I'm so happy and soooo relieved!

Finally, an upside! :)

Good for you Luv! Hope it all works out for you.

Congrats Luv, hope the training for the new position is smooth for you.

So .. it's a "Life's a bitch" thread, but you have a new opportunity ... where's the bitching? I'm confused, but congrats I guess.

glad it worked out for you

Whatta ya know good things happen to people who bitch ;)

wait a minute...what?

this sounds like the juiciest part.

Who cares if he's just your "friend" right?! haha

Yes, he was my old friend with benefits. He moved to Colorado, so I hadn't seen him in a year. He was doing some contract work in Vegas and invited me out for a few days. I went. It was the last time we were ever going to see each other. With him not in town, what was the point of staying in touch anymore? He felt weird knowing I had a boyfriend, and I felt guilty "cheating". If I'd known the ex was doing what he was doing, I could have had a MUCH better time.

You should give the guy a pic of claythan stuffing your stinker, just to let him know whats up.

2 with 1 stone....Its destiny anyway. Stop fighting it.


TK giving life advice, and snarling a bout snotty remarks, is kind of like Christopher Reeves bitching at someone for falling off of a horse wrong.

how did you find out he was cheating while you were in Vegas?


that'll teach you to be faithful.

Congratulations!

Hmmm, Planet Bash DD and tech support... we used to have someone like that. We called her Jazzzzzzlvr. Watch out, because tk will start tracking you down for all of her computer problems. ;)

Seriously though, the great thing about tech support is that it's (normally) well documented, so it's easy to catch on.

A few weeks ago it was "Life is a bitch".... now it's "Life was a bitch". A very well thought-out thread title, indeed. :)

Is there a right way to fall off a horse?

Not onto your head.


And the answer is...there IS a right way to fall and a wrong way to fall.

Tuck and roll, tuck and roll.



If I had to explain the joke....the joke should be added to the "fail" category.

I didn't. I found out when I came back and told him who I was with in Vegas. Then he came clean about "kind of one time". I found out a little later that it was more than "kind of", and it was every night I was gone.

And I didn't cheat. Like I said, he felt weird and I felt guilty. We still went out, did stuff (gambled, walked the strip, saw a movie), and I had a good time.

UPDATE: I just got offered a new position with the original company. I'll be able to stay where I'm at!! I'm now part of the technical support group. I'll be learning how to import and export data, etc. Kinda nervous, but so thankful for the opportunity.

You'd make an alcoholic a nice catch