Apparently does not matter to the court

Living with another man while still technically married? Hmmm.

And how can her leaving for another man be considered "no fault"?

ROFL

If he decides to do that, he better send me a PM. I know a few places in Belize where that would work. Lot's of decent investments over there right now on San Pedro Island.

It sucks at 48 also.

Yes Yes and Yes

Thank you very much that is good advice

Yes it would be a final settlemnt, the house, car and half of everything else for no further obligations

Hey Monk, what do you enjoy in life outside of the day to day shit?

Correct. Unfortunately, marital conduct RARELY affects division of property. BUT her living with the other man CAn have an effect.

Colorado goes by "equitable division" of property... basically they factor everything in and try to make it "fair" for everyone.

Her having a place to live and a job to support herself helps you immensely. She is entitled to 50% of everything aquired DURING the marriage and even temporary alimony if she earns significantly less than you... but if she is dead set on getting the house... she needs to give up part of her claims elsewhere... I can't imagine a competent lawyer allowing you to take the initial offer... it is ridiculous.

Again thank you so much, I believe I will check around for a different lawyer

Women are just downright evil.

And ur point is? :evil:

Win the Powerball, then wave at her everyday as you drive by her house in your new Lamborghini. Don't forget to tell your 28 yr old girlfriend to wave also.

Not all of us.


To be married for 35 years, nd just blindside someone? Monk, are you sure there were no signs? Or did you just not see them?

Just pretend you inheritated a lot of money from a distant relative in Scotland.

Once I was retired and had time I went to studying with a retired violin maker and now I make violins and cellos. They are no Strads but they are played by several studio musicians

This is the kicker. Since she has a job now, these obligation (alimony) wouldn't amount to NEARLY what she wants in taking 50% of the home (unless you both live to be 200 and work that entire time...AND remember , alminony ends the minute she remarries)

Here is the formula they TRY to use in CO....
OK, now... here are the factors used to arrive at the FINAL alimony decision...
a,b, and c work in your favor. d does not. I assume e and f don't affect things either way.

Based on this... if you lived a relatively frugal life (sounds like you did) and she isn't used to expensive trips and cavier dinners... then IF she is earning a decent wage now... you shouldn't be required to pay more than a nominal amount if anything.

If they don't take your counter offer... I would seriously look into a binding metiation. Probably the most fair route and one where half your assets won't go to the lawyers who battle it out in court.

Any form of alternative dispute resolution is better than going into a court battle... but don't fear court so much that you get railroaded... you have a ton of options at this stage.

I would expose myself to the swine flu and then go to your house and drink out of every drink container in the house before using her toothbrush as toilet paper.

This may sound a bit hasty, but, if she left any of her possessions in ur house, u could cut them in half and give them to her at the final hearing.

What the - why didn't you come to my draft party? My wife knows all sorts of women she can set you up with.



As a positive, you have two things working in your favor. First, you're at the age where women are starting to outnumber men pretty strongly. You can go to the bar at Elway's restaurant and be pounced on like a ketchup-covered rabbit in a cougar cage. Second, the wife's fling won't work out (they never do), and she'll end up alone because she's at the age where women are starting to outnumber men pretty strongly.

No problem. PM me if you want any further advice... I know Colorado is different from Texas legally, but I just can't see a judge or mediator(<--better choice) not giving you a better deal.

Instead of a new attorney, you may want to call around to some ADR (Alternative dispute resolution) places. Often they are themselves lawyers. Mediation can be expensive, but not as bad as court or getting raped by the opposing offer.

Oh, man. The women at the bar at Elway's will eat that up.

That's excellent! Lots of guys hit retirement age and find out they have no interests outside of their work and family. Not so for you, which is very good news.

So you like scotch and making string instruments. If you get a better lawyer to improve the financial stuff I think you'll be just fine.

Are things still cool between you and your daughters?

No shit. The 58 y/o violin maker drinking scotch at the end of the bar......yeah, he can score.

I'm a little jealous....

Make sure you get more than one opinion on this. My mother did something similar 17 years ago and my father got an extremely raw deal he still pays for to this day.

Excellent work in this thread.

Yes both daughters are in constant contact since it all blew up, and I had to make my oldest daughter call her mom, I told her not to take sides.

You know Luv, I knew she just could not get over both girls gone and working in other states.But this I had no idea

Monk, I am so sorry. I feel your pain. I'm 47 and basically just went through the same thing. Only my daughters are still little going through it. When they leave you like that they've been plotting it for a while and they screw you over while you are staggered. I was still taking care of her because that was my job for so long I couldn't stop even while she was divorcing me. I got taken pretty bad but on some level I did it to spare my girls the scorched earth hell she would have caused with a long court battle. It wasn't worth the money to have that trauma. They are messed up enough as it is. But 2 years later I'm close to bankruptcy and still very stunned the life I had is gone. So I go on to message board and get into fights

Its a long process. Divorce, especially when you didn't want it, is like a bomb going off in the middle of your life. It effects everything. Friends, money, kids, everything. I think its right up there with a death of a spouse because at least you have that persons love in your heart. With divorce that person has rejected you they are gone forever.
But you are not alone, it does get better, and after a while there is another plan for us, something we can't even imagine. Hang in there, keep talking about it, do protect yourself, and by all means talk to as many people who have been through it as you can. There is help and support out there.
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If she stayed home how is she entitled to 50/50?:cuss:

I don't know what to say,I am overwhelmed by your kindess

Then I say you'll come out to the good. The relationship with the daughters is far more important than the relationship with the wife.

Easy for me to say, of course. I'm sure you're very hurt by your wife's actions. But time heals all wounds, etc., and you're better off to not be living with a woman who would do something like that to you.

Sorry to hear it Monk. I've seen how rough this can be on a man.

I think you best revenge will be a year from now, when you're in better shape, sporting a new haircut, a girlfriend half her age and twice as hot.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you did anything wrong. I just find it hard to believe anyone could be that cold (yes guys, even women).

And women at this age are a depreciating asset (looks) and men are pretty much unchanged (status).

Does she have a good friend? A lady she was always just a little jealous of? A "rival" in her bowling league/church group/soccer mom?

Find that lady, and make her belly sticky.

Thank you so very much. I am so sorry about your situation, After I read your post I could not help but thank God at least the girls are raised and out of college and making their way . I don't know what my my reaction would have been if they were still at home when this happened

I like the way you think and yes I may just do that

I admire the way you think. Great idea.

Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next day. But someday.....

These guys may be worth a call: Cordell and Cordell http://www.cordellcordell.com They specialize in representing men in divorce proceedings. Austin did a good job of outlining CO state law for you and if you lawyer hasn't done this it's further evidence you need to get a second opinion. Don't let the surprise of this leave you walking blindly through the divorce and financially screwed in the end. You worked hard for what you have and this is not your fault. Fight for what you've earned so you don't have to do it all over again. Good luck!

I suppose this is also the time in life where you might "leverage" those filthy photos/movies you took of her.....sell them back, or put them online, maybe email them to her new boyfriend...

I think its great that you're thinking about your kids more than revenge, but since she's gone pirate hooker on you, you might as well figure out a way to have fun with it.

....wait until you get out there and find out what younger women will do with those lady-parts. The vagFRO is out, they're mostly going kojak now from what I hear on the street.


Start exercising, get yourself in shape and get ready to slay poon than William Wallace did Englishmen in Braveheart. There will be more bodies crawling wounded from your bed than than Omaha beach. Look in the mirror, roar like a lion and say to yourself "I am the clam-hammer, Wrecker of wombs!!!"

New tits and ass. New tits and ass.

Holy ****... man I am sorry to hear about this. I guess I am still just in shock as to how she gets everything even though she is the one who wanted the marriage ended and is dating someone else while you are married.

I'm glad for you too. You have the time and space to heal. With little ones you barrel through life trying to teach and care for them while being shattered. And doing it with less than half the resources you had before.
Best thing for you to do is live. Don't be irresponsible or blow what you have but take a trip to place you always wanted to go and she never let you.

Take some chances. And its an old spiritual formula but it works, when you get really down, serve. Do something to help people less fortunate. It gets you to appreciate what you do have and it makes you feel a part of something greater. For me the 2 things that have kept me from going bonkers is God and my kids. And when I'm not doing too well I come here and get all stupid.:)

Every month or so I get reminded I need to chill out. Thanks for posting your story. By you sharing it helped me. And that, my brother, is where we get strength. We will get through it so that one day we can be there for someone going through what we are experiencing now.
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Rainman I would have really liked to have made your draft party, but I live in Grand Junction and it just was not possible, I plan on making my yearly trip to see the Chiefs play in Denver maybe we can get togather and meet

Once i get a new house and you are ever this way let me know

You are making my evening. Classic stuff!
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Thank You I will call them tommorrow and see what they have to say

Damn the first good laugh I've had since this situation started

Now the bad news.

wear a rubber dude, you don't want your doofloppy to look like the tree man after your first night slaying the first city block of your milftropolitan area(or one of Mecca's ex's).

edit. This image was making me throw up in my mouth a little bit. google" tree man"

I'm going to have to use this one. ROFL

With all the arguing and trash talking going on on the planet I have notice that when people are hurting or need help everyone is there for them with nothing but love and support. THAT'S CHIEFS NATION BABY!!! I'm proud to be a part of it.

With that being said you hang in there cause it will get better and you will find the one that is truly meant for you!

:BLVD: This rum and coke is for you!

I'm very sorry to hear this Monk and I hope that you can find a better lawyer. That's just NOT right.

My advice? Go to Vegas, drink, gamble, hit Scores and pick up a nice lady friend to revenge **** for a few hours.

Best wishes!

That's the best thing about this place. When the shit really hits the fan... when it's serious... the bullshit vanishes.

I wish you the very best of luck Monk. I can't imagine how tough things must be right now. I'm glad a few of these silly bastards can still make you smile. Ya aint dead just yet. :)

At least you've got Tuesday covered....an all new season of "deadliest catch" and Chiefsplanet.

I hope you take this in the spirit its meant...I composed a new joke just for you.

"What do my ex wife and the deadliest catch have in common?"
"Alot of men are seen wet, beaten, tired and catching crabs this spring"

Ugh...

In my experience that always led to 80's rock ballads and horrible hangovers.

LMAO

(Laughing with you.)

Which brings me to my next point Monk....Always keep an ample supply of gatorade. Ever go to a planet bash in St Jo and watch the tequila races?


I'm not a supporter of "remember the good times". I'm helping someone close to me through this by making up nicknames for the skankasaurus and hoping her berginer prolapses.

Monk, I do fell sorry for you. I don't know what I would do if my wife of 42 years would leave me. Damn.

If it is any consolation (and probably isn't) my BIL got a royal screwing. Short version - The soon-to-be-ex-wife was had arrest warrants in and around the KC area so she left for Oklahoma. We couldn't get the BIL to start divorce proceedings immediately, so she did in Oklahoma.

The soon-to-be-ex-wife and lawyer got alimony for more than he was earning. The judge wouldn't believe his pay stubs.

After several years, he had to back to court and jail for non-payment of alimony. The judge wouldn't accept the certified copies of his checks and the bank wouldn't/couldn't testify under oath that the checks were what he wrote.

Several more years later, it was determined that the judge and/or the court clerk didn't sign the divorce decree so he, and many others, weren't legally divorced. The ex-wife tried to sue him for bigamy. Even though that got straightened out, the court wouldn't credit him for $$ previously paid.

Later on he found out that 2 of his daughters had been married without his knowledge and he had been paying child support. And no, no credit for the extra $$ paid could be applied to the alimony.

Come to find out a couple of years ago the ex-wife lawyer and judge were in cohoots, both disbarred, but he gets no rehearing of past events.

I'm thinking on a t-shirt. That still has me laughing

Grape?

Man NOW THAT AIN"T RIGHT I have never heard of such a thing that puts my situation in to perspective

It is true what some of you said about the older ladies. In my pathetic dating attempts I have noticed the women in their 30's are kind of shallow
The ones 45-55 are very down to earth, less materialistic, and more willing to do some fooling around without the headgames.
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That's because you ain't pimp.

Anybody can see that.

:spock:

You think its funny now, wait until tomorrow morning.

You'll wake up, stretch and feel your joints pop, your back aching, you'll realise that you're a bout to pee into your PJs so you'll lumber to the bathroom and make water. You'll turn to the sink to think about shaving, you'll force your drooping eyes open with a mighty yawn and it will culminate with a gaze into the mirror and it will hit you....you'll grin for a reason you can't understand and think loudly

ROAR FUTHERMUCKER! I'm a Clam hammer....


and dammit People LIKE ME MORE THAN HER!!"


You'll bounce a little more after your shower, maybe sing a little on the way in for breakfast....you'll see the marker board on your fridge the girls gave you to keep track of things but haven't used yet.....you'll walk over to it, pick up the marker and write

"EXs-Name...its not the pants that make your ass look fat"

Your day is golden, unless you suddenly find yourself in a drunken fog, trying to steal the pocket change out of a shot up pickup truck in Springfield Missouri.

Can someone please add this shirt to the CP shirt selection. If we have a Dammit Carl shirt we should sure as hell have a "I am the clam-hammer, Wrecker of wombs!!!" shirt.

trademark infringement you SONNABISH!

No, man, I miss out on everything.

Not anymore. Not any-more.

Saturdays used to be honey-dos, now they're
"Kicking ass in the pit in my bad idea jeans or 10hours of drunken Mario Cart" if you want.

You can use your free time to cruise sexaholics anonymous meetings for options for saturday night.

"bad idea jeans"

LMAO

I think that's a 'Penzism.

I just sprayed scotch on my keyboard I'm speechless that is up there with the funniest stuff I have ever read

Do avoid going to The Levee on saturday nights. A thirty something coworker thought I would like it there
Skank Central.
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If you posted more, you probably could have gotten some good advice from some qualified people about all of this, before you got bent over.

I'm sorry to hear about this man. Guys get annihilated in divorce court.

This maybe your best yet. Classic Definately going on a t-shirt

I really wish I could share a story from my brother's last night here, when I used that saying in real life...."you assholes really, really have your bad idea jeans on....this is darwin winning waiting to happen"

It was a terrible, terrible idea.....but it was effing awesome.


That led into a late night discussion about branding that. "bad idea jeans".....and then the Tshirt line to go with it. "hold my beer, watch this".....stuff like that.

Just because you had a bad experience with a 30-something, don't ruin things for the rest of us.

Iowanian has been an inspiration tonight. Other things I don't have to say again.

No, I don't think you're crazy

You look great

You're a good mother

Mmmmmm. I love your cooking

Yes Dear

Things I can say now....

You ARE just like your mother

Your sister is a ****

Your brothers are ****ing idiots

Your bosses were all right!

Your ass IS fat and my friends and family DO think your a bitch.


That felt good
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Yeah, luv....he says you and your type are "shallow"....and, generally speaking, he's right. All you broads seem interested in, is Mr. Johnson at full attention.

OTOH, more "mature" broads...they understand our feelings; they will read Emerson and Thoreau and Angelo with us. And we can rent Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Thelma and Louise and The Way We Were...all on the same weekend. They even bring the Kleenex, bi-atch. Yo.

So I've been TOLD...

:harumph:




;)

Thats therapy right there my brothers.

Monk.

Post a list of shit you hated that you don't have to do anymore. That will be a swim in healing waters right there.


I think its going to be awesome, you know, the next time Monk is on the phone getting an earful, and he's going to out of no-where bust out some ridiculous Chiefsplanet stuff on her and leave her speechless.

"It doesn't matter what I did last saturday, I know you hated Jane, thats why I tapped her in the tooter on top of your grandmother's afgan that you forgot in my pile...."

Then use the "bad idea jeans-30 year old hot girlfriend-mario cart tournament" for the finishing move. "She'll leave the lights on WHILE we're Effing in the afternoon AND she's flexible enough to do this thing called the Reverse cowgirl....if I'd have known what good cooter was the past 20 years, I'd have had you stand on your head in the garage and filled yours with ice and beer"

Amen Brother