:D

Smilin' Bob is moving in for the kill.

Girls know within 15 seconds whether or not they'll have sex with you.

If you have to convince them, forget it about and move on.

You actually had a pretty good idea inviting her over to cook for her. But hey, I'll defer to the Alphas with "game".

True.

That's why I move on....but always keep one that's a challenge on the side. Almost always manage to conquer that tough one, but got have some easy ones on the side :evil:

If he's not comfortable using a more direct approach, then this is not a bad idea. Being direct when he's very unsure about his "game" can spell doom :shake:

I was too lazy when I was single to do that. There are so many women looking for fun that I just didn't feel like it was worth my time.

In my opinion, either there's a "connection" or there's not. If there's not (and you always know), I'd move on to greener pastures immediately.

True, but I think I do that as a ego boost. :D
I'm very lazy being single, that's why I prefer the casual kind. Which is absolutely great living in a tourist town...here one night, gone the next:evil:

LMAO

Yeah, but those herpes will be there FO EVA!:)

First Text: What are you doing this week(end). innocent and you can tell if she wants to really talk or not.
Conversation will kick off from there.
An updated log would be great.

Says the guy that never gets any.
Little flare up here and there never hurt anyone. :D

Yep, just remove it with a cheese grater.

Hey, Mcan, whatever happened to Angel? She disappeared.

She got married to a soldier.

<img src="http://www.tigerrag.com/wp-content/uploads/kellen_winslow.jpg">

SR should ask for advice from GoChiefs... he is the new pimp, 'roun these parts.

Don't Hate the Playa ROFL

I could close this deal, reerun.

She's down to ****.

Hit that shit.

PS - I'm getting blown tonight.

not sure what -> She's down to ****. means. but (ROFL)

Right after he gets off work at the tanning salon?

Did you text her yet?

I was going to stay off this thread, but...

SR, I'm sure ur a nice guy, (w/ clean sheets and sexy hands to boot-lol), u should do fine w/ this girl once u get the ball rolling... just be urself. :D

no shit.


It doesn't take all of the pillowbitery and deception.


You're a grown man, she's a game proven broad by your account. Ask her if she wants to come over, have some pig n blanket, mac n cheese.

She'll either deny the invite which is a pretty good hint, or she'll have a nice evening...or help you out of your pants. Its not rocket science.

That seems like a harmless way to kick things off.


You're not new to this, I'm not sure what the need for this is other than maybe some attention.

I think the cookies is a good idea, but I'm no pimp like Gochiefs and mecca.

Did she think you were funny when you met her?

Jesus, just say "come over and hang out."

She's not going to say no.

Then you start making out. Don't be a pussy.

This one is practically begging for it. If you can't close this you are truly inept. You don't even have to drive anywhere where there are gay receptionists.

Baking cookies is lame...ask her if she can come over and help you stuff a sausage.

I hate to say it, but Douchebag is pretty close to the mark here.

This.

This thread should have been made to only be advice from III, Meatpeeker and the king of the chocolate hogs.....as a testament to planet advice of virgins past.

Why is this thread 8 pages long when the correct answers were given in the first 2 replies?

Superfluous.

Don't think too much about it. That's the best and easiest way to completely **** things up. Just talk to her, be yourself. Texting is a great thing. If you do invite her over, be casual about it, don't try to turn yourself into emeril to impress her with your l33t baking skills. Chocolate chip cookies with fua gras are not a good idea.

This girl doesn't need a meal from you.

At most she needs popcorn and pay-per-view.

Invite her over for a movie if you really have to get specific.

You won't be finishing the movie.

And you're asking for instructions why exactly? Dork.

so....you should have titled your thread "Please pat me on the back as I'm about to land my neighbor's temportary roomate."

Maybe I missed it, but WTF happened to "this thread is worthless without...."?

Is the Planet slipping that badly?


P.S. I believe I've said this in the past, but if you come on here and look for advice on getting laid, you deserve what you get. (which is to say that you deserve the clap; grow a pair of your own, jeebus)

I figured...mine was a bit of a joke as well.

Based on your information that you've provided, it's a lock. The other thing you NEED to decide is what positions you'll use. Just remember "spooning leads to forking". :clap:

Dude, you're so money.

Wait. Positions? Plural? You mean there's more than one? Just when I think I've learned everything, there's another curveball.

Sorry. Channeling GoChiefs.

:D ROFL not so much.

it sounds like not even Earnest Byner could fumble this away

Seriously, can't you just see SR as a character in Swingers ?

You're interested. She's interested. Don't dabble with it. Just relax and let nature take its course.

It just depends on whether he'll use EACH position to completion. Or provide a versatile package of positions.

"your roomate is going to be gone all weekend. this might be the only chance we have to make your belly smell like old spice and sour milk in the living room"

Just make sure she's standing up when you do, so gravity can prevent accidents.

It's pretty obvious she had no interest in you. I mean, if some of the locals here had been in your shoes, she'd have had to remove their war-club from her throat just to answer her roomates inquiries.

What you need to do is overcome your case of the gay. Go load up on vodka. Then when the gay passes call her. Tell her about how you were gay and didn't know how to get with a woman but now that vodka is your friend you're ready to be a man. That should probably do it.

Oh no you dint

Text her the URL to this thread...

The only way for any of us to know for certain what to work is to try to Eff her.

What's her number?

I'll let you know if she snorts during sex.

LMAO

Brutal.

Awesome. Keep on, dude.

If your neighbor posts here then why would you post this thread?

hmmmm

He likes to live dangerously.

I swear to god, Ryan, if you don't hit this piece of ass I am going to fly out there and hit it MYSELF!!!!

no you won't, you won't turn around and go back across a parking lot.

She probably noticed the crowd of middle aged, beer bellied guys with goatees wearing Chiefs hats and holding binoculars gathered outside her building.

ROFLROFL

:clap: Mr Wizard says "good man". :clap:

Mr Wizard LOVES tits on a stick ! :)