You didn't break up then, you got dumped.

There are other fish in the sea. :D

My best advice would be to reach out to that I Eat Ass gal at your work.

She sounds promising.

You're... not wrong. Probably too much talk about vaccines around her. :sulk:

I appreciate the words of CP wisdom.

I'm doing quite well. I have a lot of positive things going for me in my life. This is just a speed bump.

The hardest part is going to be talking to her 2 kids about it. Currently have that planned for later today. They're not my kiddos, but I've been around them long enough that I've seen them grow up for 4.5 years. I love those kids..

AND she has a dong shaped license plate cover?!

Broke up with my girlfriend
 

So you were together for 4.5 years? How old are each of you? Did you live together? What prevented you from taking it to the next step and getting married?

I always think (in these circumstances) you have one of two choices:

1. You can decide to let this relationship dictate how you move forward (i.e. mope around, be depressed, chase after her, poor me, etc. etc.) OR
2. You can decide that this is the start of a new, better chapter in your life

My guess is there is a lot of things you would have or could have done differently because of the relationship you were in (i.e. compromise - we all do it)....but that barrier isn't there anymore. Obviously, break up hurts, but why not use that new found freedom to be productive in some fashion that makes you happy?

Are you going to talk them about covid?

New found freedom... I can post on my favorite website www.chiefsplanet.com 24 hours a day now instead 23 hours a day!

You are getting a promotion that pays way more $$$ and you are breaking up with your GF? Anything else you want to brag about?

My last breakup of a serious, live-in relationship was over 30 years ago now. She was the poster child for false advertising; the first month we were together was magical, but her sweetness was all an act. After she moved in with me and her name was on the lease, the mask came off and the claws came out. She was a complete domineering witch, had to be in control of everything. Also a raging neat freak. Bitched and yelled and screamed about everything. Apparently she pegged me for someone she could control. She was really, really wrong. At first I was so dumbfounded by the change I just went along with it, hoping her attitude change was just some sort of phase. It wasn't. After that, things got worse and worse and worse. The really shitty part was how she'd still act all sweet and charming when we were around my friends, so when I told them what a bitch she was many of them didn't believe it. I felt completely trapped. It was horrible. She was young and pretty, a fantastic cook, and we had great sex, and I still felt trapped. Every night coming home from work the words from the Police song played in my head (he sees the family home now, looming in the headlights, the pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache). It was so weird. Towards the end we were either ****ing or fighting; no in between. Eventually it got to the point where I didn't even want to **** her. And even though it left me in financial ruin, I finally threw her out.

After she was gone, for the first six months I barely left the house except to go to work. She not only made me hate women, she made me hate people. Also, I was too goddamn broke to do anything anyway. Eventually I got past it, but it took a long time. What a ****ing bitch.

Thank God I didn't marry her and doubly thank God she didn't get pregnant. Haven't seen her since, but the thought of her still pisses me off. No idea if she's dead or alive, but if she is alive, I'm sure Satan is waiting for her with a management offer.

I did learn two very important things from her, though. First, I can spot that fake niceness shit instantly now, and second, I now know that its's better to be alone than to be alone with a bitch.

I had a somewhat different experience with break-ups.

The first time my wife and I dated, I dumped her because she was acting immaturely and was becoming a PITA. I immediately latched on to a girl I'd had my eyes on for awhile -- a few months earlier I had tried to put the moves on her at a party, but she didn't seem interested. Well, now she suddenly was more amenable. So we fooled around for a few days -- until she left for Arkansas to babysit some of her kin for the summer.

Well, shortly after she left, my ex came crawling back to me (she denies to this day she crawled back, but trust me) and we got back together. She behaved much better, and well, here we are 29 years of marriage later (and not counting several years of dating before that). Of course, that meant I had to break up with my new GF long distance -- I had to write her a Dear John letter (Dear Jill?). I hated doing that, but it was the right thing to do. When she came back I hugged her and apologized profusely. I think she got over it.

One other thing: A couple of weeks after I got back together with the future wife, she went on vacation with her family for a week or two to Wyoming and South Dakota. Back home, a female friend "introduced me" to her cousin who I had seen a few weeks earlier and had mentioned was very pretty. Later that night, as they were driving around, my friend asked if I wanted to go with them back to her house to play cards. I knew exactly what she was doing -- she didn't know I was back with my future wife, and she thought she could set me up with her cousin. It was nice of her to think of me.

I remember in that moment the scene from Animal House where Larry Kroger has the angel and the devil on each shoulder. Well, my devil was whispering in my ear, "YOLO." The angel was saying, "You don't want to be a serial dumper." Like Pinto, I chose the angel, and politely declined the invitation. (That poor cousin later died of cancer at a relatively young age.)

So if you believe that some things were meant to be, I think my marriage is a good example.

PIIHB one last time, and then go fishing.

Well this should allow you more time to spend with your wife and kid!

Sticking the thermometer up the bum daily and never bothering to look at the temperature probably did you in.

I guess the last breakup I had that wasn't the story below was with a woman I dated a couple of years after that - would have been the mid-90s or so. "Dating" really isn't the right word; she basically used me for sex. She was married to some drugged out loser that for reasons I never understood she wouldn't leave. This meant I couldn't call her - all I could do was page her. Sometimes she'd respond, then she come over, have sex, and she'd leave. Sometimes she wouldn't respond. Maybe she'd come over four times in a week, maybe I wouldn't hear from her for a month. She basically used me the way a guy would use a woman, but being a man, I had no problem with it. We never went anywhere, I never spent money on her. She'd come over, we'd ****, and she'd leave. That was that.

But eventually I got sick of the whole deal - the husband, her lying about pretty much everything, all of it. One night she was over and we were watching TV. I looked at her and said "We're not ****ing. Why are you here?" She got up and left without a word. Never saw her again. :D

Is their a rebound rule? Can I go out and bang a chick tonight?

It's what you're suppose to do.

Why not?

You didn't care about this girl.

She dumped you.

Bang 2 in one night and see if the second one can taste the first.

Has TLO posted pictures of her tits yet?

PBJ

:hmmm:

PBJ PBJ

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/YKdm91XONLTaw" width="480" height="264" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/exciting-moderating-modqueue-YKdm91XONLTaw">via GIPHY</a></p>

https://c.tenor.com/rjWlaDYOS_sAAAAC...-dumber-uh.gif

IIRC you live in St. Joe.

Triple wrap your hawg if you're picking up anything from any bar in that town.

TLO - With your new promotion, losing someone that did not want to be with you, OMG you are in the best place of your life.

Gym / Improve / Self Care
Go Out / Enjoy / Call up a friend with Benefits
Have Fun until your next serious fling.

They aren’t your kids. Time to move on cleanly. Don’t be sad it’s over, be glad it happened. Prep yourself for your next chapter. New, better pussy is within your grasp.

Shoulda been looking before the split went official.

Posts like these are why I'll never leave CP. There are too many Sages on here laying out really sound advice that you just won't find anywhere else.

You seem nice.

Mine was dead serious, too.

Always! :)

Bang her and send a picture of her butt hole to your ex

Not only do I believe you, I gave your advice a trial run and could tell it would work amazingly well in that situation.

Probably Q. Don't care:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rxTHeNHEG7M" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Hell, By looking at your avatar, she completes me. from a distance......in a pic.....

:hmmm:

10 to 1 odds she was banging/ "talking" someone else

You can't get a better job without being employed first.

Same reasoning goes with relationships m8.

10 to 1 odds you're a giant dumbass.

Go **** her hottest friend

/Thread

JFC, if it wasn't 30 years ago I'd really wonder if this was my roommate from several years ago. Her good side was great... extroverted/engaging, funny, smart; someone you want to be around.

But no amount of the good was worth the psycho bitch mode... complete germaphobe, would fly off the handle at the smallest things, yet completely shy away from any real conversation. Complete drama whore who would keep your head spinning with bullshit. She routinely slept 2-3 hours/night, if that, then would sleep like 30 hours over the weekend. Crazy ups and down bipolar shit.

There's a book called The Psychopath Test and most people score very low (0-3) while true psychopath territory is around 20 (IIRC), and I couldn't benefit-of-the-doubt her below like a 17.

And to this day friends/family who met her multiple times don't believe she's "that bad".

A Covert Narcissist will do this. It’s a mental disorder. They can’t feel and empathize, they’re broken.

Sorry if I missed this, but did TLO post her pic yet? Needing clarification.

Long distance hug bro. You’ll get back on that horse.

surprised you waited this long

Can someone be a covert narcissist and extremely extroverted?

I googled it and saw mentions of shyness and introversion, and she was the opposite of that..... but, covert in the sense that when she was in a good mood, you wouldn't even notice everything was about her. Or maybe just didn't care.

Guessing bipolar, definitely didn't empathize, and definitely mentally broken.

Provide tips on this topic pls

Billay booty call bungalow

TLO if you can’t get laid after reading that thread you might as well go gay.

Pinche ese's always keeping it real, Carnal.:clap:

How was the gym today?

:clap:

LET"S FUGGIN GO SLUT PUPPY!!

HE ( I'm) GOOD

She'd go off about a dirty sock on the floor or a fork left in the sink like I'd taken a dump in the middle of the living room. It was insane. SHE WAS INSANE. And of course in the magical month that we dated she saw what my behavior was like - I mean, I'm not a complete ****ing slob or anything, but I'm a normal guy. There's some clutter and stuff on the floor. Not a peep out of her that it was THE WORST THING EVER! It is just not in my nature to be that utterly insincere, for any reason. The bitch should have gone into sales, or politics. She'd give Hillary Clinton a run for her money.

One weekend Chris, my high school friend/Air Force buddy came up to visit. Of course she was in angel mode the whole time, and I hadn't told him what she was really like. Now Chris is about as close as you can get to Wally Cleaver. Polite, respectful, neat, no real vices to speak of. I don't know of anybody who's met him that doesn't like and respect him. So we all pass a pleasant weekend. Right before he leaves, she gives him a big hug and tells him he's welcome anytime, and what a pleasure it was to meet him. The door shuts, and she waits until he's out of earshot, then turns to me and growls "I never want that mother****er in this house again." That was one of the final nails in her coffin. I replied "bitch, he'll be my friend long after your ass is gone, and don't you EVER say another word about him." My eyes must have been glowing red at that point, because she dropped it.

I can feel my blood pressure spiking as I type this. :#

Basically it boils down to the idea that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. She was just so syrupy sweet to people. Maybe there are people out there who are genuinely like that, but it's been my experience that people who act that way are 1000% bent, and they use that facade to fool and manipulate others. Everybody else I've known who acted like her over the intervening decades, whether they were female or male, has ultimately been proven to be a piece of crap. I've seen it in bosses, co-workers, would-be friends. It's one of my biggest red flags.

It's kind of like southern hospitality. Over time it goes from "How y'all doin! Welcome!" to "Y'all ain't from around here, are ya" to "Yankee bastard!"

Gives me flashbacks, too... heh.

I remember relaxing on the couch one night watching sports, quickly ruined by screaming in the kitchen about a towel on the counter that apparently had a little food on it or something... who the **** knows.

When I was buying my first house and preparing to get away from the drama, I worked most of the day on the new house and was pretty damn filthy.... got back to the apartment that we shared, where her and her boyfriend were watching a movie on the couch. Took off my shoes, because not doing so would mean the end of the ****ing world... but, went into the kitchen to wash off a bit, then I hear the shrill scream of horror because my jeans were dirty and probably dragging dirt into the apartment.

I told her to grow the **** up (I'm surprised she never stabbed me after saying that, she hated it so much), she yelled something else and stormed off into her bedroom with her boyfriend just sitting on the couch (he was a nice guy)... he had already seen some of this while they were dating (which never lasted long). I shrugged and halfheartedly apologized. He shrugged, probably a bit surprised it went from nice night on the couch to threat level midnight in all of 15 seconds.

Being that we were just friends with no benefits, luckily the worst of it was over pretty quickly and we went our separate ways after one lease term on the apartment.

I've known a few people who are insanely agreeable to everything you say, except it's always at 30k feet. Oh, I love the Chiefs, too! Stouts are delicious! I've never understood string theory, either!

They're the fakiest of fakers, asking lots of questions and being engaging, but there's nothing under the hood. Easily countered by diving into subjects a bit to figure out if they're full of shit.

I've also worked with a lot of consultants over the years, so they just have a certain salesman vibe to them... overly agreeable and engaging.

In general though, I find you can pretty easily call people on their bullshit without blatantly calling them on their bullshit, simply by asking a lot of questions.

I can't imagine dealing with that crap with no benefits. At least while I was being tortured great sex with a pretty 19-year-old blonde was part of the deal (I was 24). She kind of looked like Jenny Wright with short hair. In hindsight I'm surprised the sex lasted as long as it did; I think that was just part of her control package and she used it right up the end. I assume that if I'd married the bitch it would have been turned off like a spigot.

The funny thing is after me she found a guy to dominate who actually didn't put up a fight. He was part of our circle of friends. Rarely spoke, had no personality, no opinion on anything, and definitely no backbone. She latched onto him like a deer tick. I heard later that they married. I assume that if he stayed in the role of loyal minion it might have worked out for him. Who knows?

One thing about the hair - I don't like short hair on women, and I repeatedly asked her to grow it longer. After we split I heard she did. Probably just to spite me. ****ing ****. LMAO

Does she have any good looking friends?...

Things to help get over a chick

1. Could you ever smell her butt while doing it doggy style?
2. Did you ever go to eat her out and see kaw kaw on her ballon knot?

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO THIS!

SCHO is normally right.... but not this time.

Do not plow her friend.


Plow her mom instead. Then throw a $20 on the dresser and say "worth it" when you walk out.

Plow her dad, too. Then take the $20 back.

I would read your advice column.

But would you actually follow his advice?

It would definitely depend on the dad.

.

Yeah, we were really good friends for about a year before there was even a glimpse of bullshit, and for a while after that it was just moments here and there. That still left about 6 months of putting up with the real bipolar mind**** bullshit though. Once I started catching those glimpses, it was a weird spot to be in, because she would date pretty well-rounded guys (minus a toed-shoe wearing douchebag) who I kind of wanted to warn, yet it's not like it was any of my business. They learned for themselves though and moved on to marry other well-adjusted women.

I assume your friend had money?

Ur voice is sexy will u post pictures of ur wiener

Try and get the balls in too, please.

Take her brother out to McDonald's with that $20. Plow him after.

Lots of truth in this response.

No, he was enlisted in the Navy, same as me. She definitely wasn't chasing cash.

The main reason I stayed with her as long as I did was financial. She had a good job for being 19, and was also extremely responsible and disciplined when it came to spending, which I was not. We were together when I got out of the Navy and moved into an apartment which I knew I could not afford to live in on my own. My first civilian job technically paid more than I had made as an E5, but to my horror I realized that I was actually bringing in slightly less money because a good chunk of my military pay hadn't been taxable (my first civilian paycheck was a serious WHO'S FICA? moment). After we split, my monthly bills added up to about $50 more than I made, not counting food and gas money.

On paper she was the perfect girlfriend. Pretty, smart, responsible, great cook, great in bed. I realized that. I tried so hard to tough it out, but there was just no way. The next few years were some seriously dark times for me, but at least I kept my sanity and pride and balls intact.

LMAO

Big time power move is to stuff a 10 piece nugget into her brother's south mouth and pound them into mush.

TLO you pounded some fresh vaj yet

I would still be a virgin…..