JFCOAPS, my dad will spend all day playing connect the dots with you. He turns 90 this year. Looking forward to seeing you in a Progressive Insurance “Don’t be your parents” commercial in the near future.

They are just dots. 999 times out of 1000 there is no connection. When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.

We’ll, maybe you are being facetious? If so good for you.

Can't wait to stare at the sun!

https://youtu.be/gQDqRlMeJ4U?si=X675Cnm5AiPMNWmd


Hey!

*Moves hand over crotch*

"Hey, check out the eclipse on my BALLS!"

Sammy Watkins weeps

Nike: Just Do It!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FyigCdhW...pg&name=medium

https://i.iheart.com/v3/re/new_asset...ontain(1480,0)

you might want to switch to decaf this morning! :)

I think he was playin'!

This is what a life effecting eclipse looks like.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-media-max-width="560"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">For Those Who Don’t Know How An Eclipse Works! <a href="https://t.co/nE9HSiMQxF">pic.twitter.com/nE9HSiMQxF</a></p>&mdash; Steve Mudflap McGrew’s REMASCULATE podcast (@REMASCULATE) <a href="https://twitter.com/REMASCULATE/status/1775244820694380555?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 2, 2024</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

ROFL!

It was crazy here during the eclipse. Took my dog outside, and she pooped. Just flat out crazy.

Apparently I haven't been raptured. I'm ****ed.

How'd it go? Blind yet?

Nah, you don't to spend eternity with the likes of the Pope. Talk about boring...

The Priest warned that might happen.

Just one eclipse and all you had to do was chill out. That's it, chill. But Nooooo!

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...9180212a&ei=32


The Associated Press
Woman shoots interstate drivers, says God told her to because of the eclipse, Florida police say


BONIFAY, Fla. (AP) — A woman checked out of a Florida hotel and told staff that she was going on a God-directed shooting spree because of the solar eclipse, then shot two drivers on Interstate 10 before being arrested and charged with attempted murder Monday, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Taylon Nichelle Celestine, 22, of Georgia, entered the highway 115 miles (180 kilometers) from the Alabama border in the Florida Panhandle and headed west. Within 5 miles (8 kilometers), she fired into a passing car several times, spraying auto glass and grazing the driver in the arm, the department said in a statement.

She then fired at a second vehicle, hitting the driver in the neck. The driver was injured and treated at a hospital...........

Guess that sounds better than "I just hate people"