You may be right. We came from middle class families, we couldn't afford luxuries like books.

In a world full of BWillies, be a Rain Man.

don't be gay be autistic?

I wasn’t really thinking of it like that but, okay. LMAO

Don't get your pu*** and paycheck at the same place

Always sign a prenup and I mean ALWAYS:(

Before saying something to someone you care about, consider whether this is going to bring you closer or push you apart.

Everyone has the right to be wrong, especially me.

Grew up in a military family, and it was communicated very early in my childhood, "If you want nice things, you have to keep them nice."

Simple....but amazing how many people dont take care of their shit and then complain about it.

Dad was in the ANG. He wore a size 13 boot. Not a big deal these days, but back then new boots in that size came few and far between. He took very good care of them, waxing and polishing them just about every week I think.

Thanks Bob Dole.

1: Have fun and make a difference.

2: Life is a comedy, not a drama. (I've had trouble keeping this in mind lately)

3: Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

4: Friends and relationships are the greatest asset in this world. Find people you can feel safe to be yourself around and who you can confide in.

Love your kids unconditionally, they may not do the things you expect them to, they have their own will and dreams that are likely different than what you imagined for them.

IMO great parenting is seeing the world through their eyes, not making them see it through yours.

I truly appreciate what Bob Dole said calling me out for being a joker in my firs post. You've pointed out something that has been a characteristic my whole life: trying to make people laugh -- which I think is a good trait but sometimes I forego the opportunity to be sincere and go for the gag. Fine in an anonymous message board, terrible if you're a parent or boss.

Stay grateful no matter what -- the good and the bad, there's always someone going through worse. Live like these are the good times. 30 years from now you'll wish you were able to do the things you can do right now.

Thank you for coming back and being real. I think I'm still a little rocked by Joe's death and the realization of my own mortality. This place has been my primary social interaction for over 20 years, I've met a lot of you. I enjoyed the company of many who post here. It's mostly goof-off fun and games and silly insults. It's more entertaining than most television.

But I think there is always an opportunity to learn something along the way.

And if you feel like you've learned something in life, you should probably share it. If you have children, that should be a given. If you don't have kids, you should just try to connect with as many people as you can before you expire and share what you've learned. Otherwise, what's the point?

I try to give kids a pass, to a point of course. I think about how I thought I was invincible and knew everything when I was 22 years old. Come to find out years later that I was lucky I didn't die multiple times and that I didn't know jack shit.

Man strength is a real thing.

Reminds me of the time I pissed all over the plate glass windows of the old KCK police station.

Continuous Improvement is my focus on almost everything I do. No clever catch phrases or anything, but it's the guiding principal in most of my activities.

A teacher told me once, "The obvious becomes obvious to the astute." I don't think that changed my life any, but it stuck with me.

If you don't know a person, they don't really matter so if they are confrontational then just let them win because who ****ing cares. That goes for stuff like road rage, going to bars and in general public.

Nobody that doesn't matter isn't worth getting stressed or making your life worse in any way. When you go home, their opinions will have zero affect on you.

That's something that I didn't realize when I was in my 20's tbh. Plus I hung out with people that would take any sign of disrespect so seriously from strangers (that was mostly at bars though).

Always be kind to others in all situations. Ask questions, be a great listener. Give freely.

I’ve always been more wise ass than wise. However the one thing I know for sure is that I don’t know much, except that the people around you are more important than the situation.

Rule number one do no harm
Rule number two people are important help them see why
Rule number three the secret to life is being able to tell somebody to go to heck and make him feel good about the trip
Rule number four just because someone tells you to go to hell that doesn't mean you need to take the trip
Rule number five ask more questions make less statements

Someone should have posted what are the best things in life meme from Conan.

Always carry a knife.

A fork is more versatile.

No matter how bad things seem, they can always get worse.



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Not really. I can make a fork with a knife.:D

#1 - Organization is the key to success.
#2 - No good deed goes unpunished.
#3 - When in doubt, reboot.

Boooo

Don't bleach your hair, don't wear pink Carebear stuff, and don't be a little bitch

IT guy?

Some of my favorites:

Hope for the best but expect the worst.

You never go broke taking a profit.

You're not the only person in the grocery store.

Everybody ****s funny to somebody.

Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

You probably have pink panties on right now.

Unofficial family motto is life's tough get a helmet.

My personal is that everything breaks down into simple math. Ie. Every problem has a simple solution break it down analyze and solve.

Do the right thing…especially when no one is looking

Begin everyday being grateful for everything

Never get less than 12 hours of sleep??

24 hours in a day - 12 hours of sleep.

9 hours of work (including hour lunch for majority of Americans)

3 hours remaining

1 hour of commute.

2 hours remaining.


Gym? Food? Sex?? The 12 hours of sleep thing seems like BS for a normal lifestyle

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

I figure that he sleeps four hours at work.

Good point. Give a man.a fork and he eats for a meal. Teach him to fork and he eats for a lifetime. Or something like that.

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Here are mine:

1) Of all the things I may achieve in life or be remembered for, being a good dad is what I strive to achieve most.

2) Surround yourself with friends who are never hesitant to call you out or tell you when you are being foolish

3) Always remember that you married up....treat her like you are lucky she chose you to spend her life with....and you will find out she will strive to do even better than you.

My dad is a walking encyclopedia of old farmer wisdom and sayings.


“It will feel better when it quits hurting”

Situations hes said this to me: bike crashes, a van drove over my legs and I was hopping around in the road, after a bull stomped me, to my mom when an angry cow broke her leg, break ups with girls, funerals. It was also true in every circumstance.

One thing he says to me a lot now is that you can’t take of anyone else if you don’t look out for #1. He’s always been selfless, but it makes a lot of sense.

My advice is

Never mess with bees in a gloomy day.

I'm not sure it's necessarily sage nor novel advice, but I generally view the world through a lens of "Everyone needs to calm the **** down." It serves me well.

Don't mistake kindness for weakness

Champagne tastes and beer pockets

A small profit is better than a small loss

Always lease a depreciating asset and buy an appreciating asset.

My dad had a small sign over his home office desk my entire childhood. I didn’t understand it. The older I get, the more it hits me, and I now have that sign 2’ behind me on my home office wall.

“Tact
The ability to tell a man to go to hell, and make him feel happy to be on his way”

A rule I live by.

Lol, this is good advice. I read years ago that bees become significantly more aggressive when the temp drops below 80, or something like that. Kind of the opposite of Tua.

That’s some forking funny stuff.

Stupid is thinking you're smart before you find out.

Specialization is for insects
 

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

Uh, I can only do like 3 of those things

This is the most difficult thing on earth.

Not cold fusion, not clean energy, not long distance space travel, not feeding the poor. It is impossible to pass knowledge effectively from one generation to the next.

By the time you have earned the trust, respect, and attention of the younger generation the lessons needed and mistakes that could have been avoided have already occurred.

At least he didn't try the 're-install Windows' option!

Be the change you want to see

If you want a friend be a friend

If it has tits or tires it will give you trouble

Yeah, but there are plenty of other things you can do. The list isn't meant to be specific and limited but examples for the range of interests and skills humans can and should exhibit, as I'm sure you know. The point is to keep adding to your range of expertise. The key to life is to stay active, both mentally and physically, and keep learning and doing new and different things.

On a second note, Heinlein was an incredible author and tossed out sage advice nonstop. My user name is in homage to him:

“Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.”

Search for Robert A. Heinlein quotes and you'll find page after page of thought provoking, common sense observations of humanity.

What you do, who you're with, and how you feel about the world around you is completely up to you.

Mike Rowe

Try and be the person your dog thinks you are.

Something I fail to do too often.

I've always found solace in music. One of my favorite songs ends with the line "don't live for pleasure, make life your treasure". I always wished I could do it. Unfortunately, pleasure is too much fun.

Pussy is like seafood. If it smells bad, don't eat it.

My father believed in hard work that he passed down to all his sons with one message behind it.....be HUMBLE. Truth, be told, arrogant people are not on my A list.

His Father always told him, if you want to steal something, ask me first. Knowing, they would never ask Father's permission to steal.

I just wanted to reappear and thank everyone who left a heartfelt and honest response. This is why this has been a community for over 20 years.

I'm proud to say I've been here since the beginning, and I've enjoyed the company of every person here I've ever met. Kyle created a good thing, and we should all be thankful.

This brings up something that has been bothering me for a long time, and my wife finally summarized it for me.

My older relatives believe that "hardworking" is the best single compliment you can give a person. They'll say to a person, "Oh, you're so hardworking." I've gotten Christmas cards that say, "Merry Christmas to a hardworking couple." On and on. It's a multi-decade theme. Occasionally I'll get a variation along the lines of "You just work so hard..."

It's always bothered me a bit, and I could never figure out why. It just seemed like a weird way to compliment someone. Finally my wife said, "I think I know why it bothers you. It's rewarding effort, not results."

I think she's right to some degree, but then I thought about it some more, and I think it goes further than that. "Hardworking" has an implication that I'm not smart enough to accomplish anything without significant sweat and fatigue. I'd kind of like to be the guy who accomplishes stuff smoothly and easily.

Okay, I have to make a poll about this. I'm curious how opinions shake out on this. Look for a poll near you soon.

Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired.

Someone shared that with me a bit ago and it stuck…

Physical and mental effort are not mutually exclusive.

You can do both.

The first thing I learned when I started in tech sales engineering was to always assume at least one person across the table from you knows more than you do. Humility is so, so important.

What Can Be Unburdened By What Has Been

"Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes"!

As the good book says our life is but a "short vapor" here on earth!

Live today like it is your last day on earth. One day you will be right.

Attitude/Gratitude

“The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. Therefore, there is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.”
-Terry Pratchett

Don't sweat the little things...