Man, if my plane gets a 0% hit rate, I'll be SOOOOOO embarrassed.

Phil, that's hilarious. ROFL

omg ROFL I totally missed that. Don't ask, don't tell.

I like how the "Aftereffects" listed are "None." ROFL

Yeah, that mission needed a little spice. For their efforts, Mark M and Coogs get to add a miniature rainbow to their flight vests.

I was hoping to have edited in time to avoid the evidence....

People do strange things under the stress of war.

"You know, we could be killed today."

"Yeah. Wanna make out?"

We rock......so hard.

Plane #10 – Gunther’s Thunder

Pilot Rain Man
Copilot tk13
Bombardier ChiTown
Navigator whoman69
Engineer Pitt Gorilla
Radio Op. KC Jones
Tail Gunner Duck Dog
Ball Turret Gunner DrNick
Right Waist Gunner Cormac
Left Waist Gunner The Rick

Target: the fighter base at Abbeville
Mid-formation vertically, mid-formation horizontally (low vulnerability)

Rain Man makes a perfect takeoff, graceful and powerful. The ground crews applaud.

Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel
No enemy

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

2 Me109s driven away by fighters

4 Me109s attack – 1 is driven away by fighters

Chitown fires, misses
Pitt Gorilla fires, misses
Whoman69 fires, misses
Duck Dog fires, kills Me109

Me scores 1 hit on B-17
-Superficial damage in pilot compartment

1 Me misses, breaks off attack

The other Me circles and attacks again

Chitown fires, misses
Pitt Gorilla fires, misses
Duck Dog fires, misses

Me misses, breaks off attack

Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
Light Flak – no hits
Bomb run is dropped quite well – 60% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

1 Me109 is driven away by fighters

1 Me109 is driven away by fighters

Zone 2: English Channel

No enemy

Zone 1: England

No enemy
Poor weather
Good landing despite poor weather

Aftereffects

None

Eligible for next mission

Pilot Rain Man
Copilot tk13
Bombardier ChiTown
Navigator whoman69
Engineer Pitt Gorilla
Radio Op. KC Jones
Tail Gunner Duck Dog
Ball Turret Gunner DrNick
Right Waist Gunner Cormac
Left Waist Gunner The Rick

I said it before and I’ll say it again: best darn crew in the whole darn European Theater.

I think you cheated. :p

Cheated? Why, I'm disturbe by fact that you raise that as a possibility

That's skillz brotha, we be the king of de German asskicking...

You must be joking.

Bull$3it....no way in hell am I going to die over Frogland. NO WAY....

Rausch is ready to crew up, suit up, and kill some frog nazis! :cuss:

That's the spirit, Brad. Good luck finding replacement crewmembers who are willing to ride in your Deathmobile.

We're a new crew and we're green. But I do believe our gunners need some more practice before our mission. From what I've seen so far about 90% of the gunners miss. Why is that Kevin?

I'll manage...

How do we go about replacing crew members anyway?... :hmmm:

Rausch,
mourning the great Gaz and crew.... :(

Whootie Whooo!!!!!

I made it!

Condolences to those that were unfortunate.

Better get to working on using those 2 50cals I have. I'm obviously a poor shot and I will not let my crew or my plane suffer from my deficiencies.

Me too.:)

SNFUI sir. (situation normal, flying under influence sir) ROFL

Something fishy about Plane # 10 results ! :hmmm:


:LOL:

Who's buying me drinks!

no need to buy.... I have a bottle. ;)

Sweet!

Damn, it is bad luck to lose a guy on the first mission and not even be able to drop your load.

But, hey, on the bright side, I wasn't hurt, and that's what really matters, right?

I wonder what Freud would make of that sentence....

I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt.Right about now I'm wishing I hadn't just sung "I'm too sexy for my shirt"What do you expect when your bombardier is eternally wasted....

Yeah, but I didn't get hurt and that's what really matters....

Oh wait, not my plane.

I am amazed that a plane hasn't been shot down yet.

I enjoyed your letter home where you admit lying about your mission. Now, I think what you were really trying to say is that you lied about Gayer Do-I-Blow being heroic and all that jazz. Your secret is safe with me, though.

Hoover
 

As usual, you suck. It was us waist guners that kept the bandits away so you could pickle away. Drinks are on CPT Logical.

Everyone needs to quit worrying about missing the target; it's France for cryin' out loud!

I never liked him anyway..... :evil:

With his luck there probably wasn't any virgins waiting for him either.:D

With his luck, he's probably one of the virgins, "enjoying" his role as a "girl" in an eternal rump-o-rama.

Where's Jamie's Best Buy Tellitubbie friend to mourn his buddy's passing? :)

Shut up or I will make you run two more miles.

You TRULY are a bastard.


I like it.

I'm guessing you killed everyone around you so that their replacements couldn't complain about the fact that you decorated the cockpit with flowers.

Hey, I'm game, so long as there's an M&M Blizzard and some barbecue at the end of the race.

Suddenly the words "defeating the purpose" are echoing throughout my apartment. Hmm, I wonder what that's about.

Playing the darkside on KOTOR is not having a happy effect on my overall demeanor.... :evil:

Lets get on the ball, #11 is waiting the results :harumph:

Uhhhh, If he wants to let us live another day, it's ok by me.

Chicken ROFL

Okay, Planes 11 through 20, buckle up! I'm here for the evening and we'll finish out Mission 1!

We've got volunteers lined up. We'll make a new thread at the end of Mission 1 to assign them to planes. Good luck with the newbies.

F*** the newbies. My plane is about to take off. Good luck to me!!

That's actually pretty normal. I don't know what the hit rate is right now, but I would (unscientifically) guess that over time both the Americans and the Germans should average about a 25-35 percent hit rate. Maybe it's just a bit low starting out.

WooHoo, about time!! I'm able, willing and ready to go!! Now watch, I'll be the first dead.

Hey Rain Man, make sure my name is on the volunteers list!!

GOOD LUCK DARTGOD!!

And to me also. :toast:

I'm piloting the crate he's in. :D

Very cool! The Maiden voyage of Deep Red is coming later tonight, we shall come together, we shall tear apart their defenses, penetrate deep into the red zone, our munitions shall pound mercilessly. They shall scream and quiver and well not be left wanting!

Why do you think we have to wich him luck :D

Plane #11 – Commando Chief

Pilot JOhn
Copilot Bob_Damned_Dole
Bombardier bkkcoh
Navigator WilliamTheIrish
Engineer Dartgod
Radio Op. ck_IN
Tail Gunner grandllama
Ball Turret Gunner CASHMAN
Right Waist Gunner Slim_Shady
Left Waist Gunner penchief

Target: Cherbourg’s fighter base. Go west, young man.
B-17 is located in the middle of the formation horizontally, and high vertically (moderate vulnerability)

Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel
No enemy

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

1 FW190 and 2 Me109s attack – 1 Me109 is driven away by fighters.

Dartgod fires, misses
Cashman fires, misses
Grandllama fires, misses
WilliamtheIrish fires, misses

FW and Me both miss, break off attack

2 Me109s attack – 1 Me109 is driven away by fighters.

Slim Shady fires, misses
Dartgod fires, misses
Cashman fires, misses
Penchief fires, misses

Me misses, breaks off attack

Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
Medium Flak – no hits
Nice bombing run, bkkcoh lands a 20% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

1 Me110 is driven away by fighters

Zone 2: English Channel

2 FW190s driven away by fighters

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects

Beers for everybody

Eligible for next mission

Pilot JOhn
Copilot Bob_Damned_Dole
Bombardier bkkcoh
Navigator WilliamTheIrish
Engineer Dartgod
Radio Op. ck_IN
Tail Gunner grandllama
Ball Turret Gunner CASHMAN
Right Waist Gunner Slim_Shady
Left Waist Gunner penchief

Commando Chief comes back untouched with a successful bombing run, just like in training.

I might be a loser on the ground, but in the air, I'm a master. :fire:

Woooo Hoooooo!!!!! Great job guys! I'm glad I...er, WE survived this harrowing mission.

:toast:

Way to go boys, great first mission. But then again was there ever any doubt?

First round is on me boys, and after I let you sleep in, all gunners report to the firing range tommrow at 0900hrs, for some weapons practice.

Well you better be. :grr:

Unless you know how to fly, it might be a short ride if Dole or I get hit. :shake:

Plane #12 – Yard Dart


Pilot Taco John
Copilot Mile High Mania
Bombardier Joe Seahawk
Navigator BigChiefFan
Engineer ZachKC
Radio Op. Archie F. Swin
Tail Gunner suds79
Ball Turret Gunner oleman47
Right Waist Gunner RJ
Left Waist Gunner KC2003


Target: Meaulte
B-17 is in middle of formation both horizontally and vertically (low vulnerability)

Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel

3 FW190s attack – 2 are driven off by fighters

RJ fires, kills FW190
ZachKC fires, misses
BigChiefFan fires, misses

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

3 Me110s attack – 2 are driven off by fighters

KC2003 fires, misses
Suds79 fires, misses

Me scores 1 hit
- Superficial damage to left aileron

Me circles and attacks again

ZachKC fires, misses
Oleman47 fires, misses

Me misses, breaks off attack.

1 FW190 driven off by fighters

Entering Bomb Zone
Meaulte is socked in by a rainstorm – poor visibility for bomb run
No Flak
Bombs run off target – 0% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

5 FW190s attack – 2 are driven off by fighters

ZachKC fires, hits FW190
KC2003 fires, misses
Suds79 fires, misses
Oleman47 fires, misses

FW scores 1 hit
- Superficial damage to nose

2 FWs miss and break off attack

1 FW circles and attacks again

BigChiefFan fires, hits FW190
Joe Seahawk fires, misses

FW misses, breaks off attack

Zone 2: English Channel

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects

None

Eligible for next mission

Pilot Taco John
Copilot Mile High Mania
Bombardier Joe Seahawk
Navigator BigChiefFan
Engineer ZachKC
Radio Op. Archie F. Swin
Tail Gunner suds79
Ball Turret Gunner oleman47
Right Waist Gunner RJ
Left Waist Gunner KC2003

Darn rain.

I'm reenlisting....let's give this a second try.

:clap: Hell Yeah guys, keep knocking them S.O.B's out of the sky!!

How long untill #16 takes flight? I am on the muscle, man this is just like right before a game, the hate is building! Walking back and forth the distain for my opponent is complete........LETS GET IT ON!

Plane #13 – Throw Bomba from the Plane

Pilot DaWolf
Copilot LVNHACK
Bombardier the Talking Can
Navigator Ugly Duck
Engineer Eric Draven
Radio Op. Shakesthecat
Tail Gunner Simplex3
Ball Turret Gunner mikey23545
Right Waist Gunner theultimatekcchiefsfan
Left Waist Gunner Bunnytrdr

Target: the factory at Lille
B-17 is in middle of formation both horizontally and vertically (low vulnerability)


Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel
No enemy

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

4 Me109s attack – 3 are driven away by fighters

Bunnytrdr fires, misses
Eric Draven fires, kills Me109

3 FW190s driven away by fighters

Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
Heavy flak defenses – 2 hits on B-17
- Superficial damage to nose
- Damage to starboard tailplane root (no impact on flying)
Near miss to the talking can on the flak hit throws the bomb run off target – 0% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

1 FW190 and 1 Me110 driven away by fighters

Zone 2: English Channel

No enemy

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects
None

Eligible for next mission

Pilot DaWolf
Copilot LVNHACK
Bombardier the Talking Can
Navigator Ugly Duck
Engineer Eric Draven
Radio Op. Shakesthecat
Tail Gunner Simplex3
Ball Turret Gunner mikey23545
Right Waist Gunner theultimatekcchiefsfan
Left Waist Gunner Bunnytrdr

Hmm, no bombing, but they killed the only fighter that they encountered with only two shots. Maybe they’re an F-17.

I'm scared. I don't want to do this. I've re-considered!

I ain't gettin' on no plane, foo!

Interesting.

A plane with gochiefs that didn't go down faster than a crackwhore to pick up $5 a client dropped.

In other news......I just realized that the book I got for Christmas and am starting to read is relevant.

Has anyone read "the Wild Blue" by Stephen Ambrose(blackhawk down)? Its about WWII B24 crews/missions.

Who'da thought Kevin's game would be more effective on me than Oprah's Book of the month club.

Plane #14 – Lucy Quipment

Pilot Psicosis
Copilot KCTitus
Bombardier Clint in Wichita
Navigator 2bikemike
Engineer Fat Elvis
Radio Op. chief52
Tail Gunner old_geezer
Ball Turret Gunner chiefsfan58
Right Waist Gunner RINGLEADER
Left Waist Gunner patteeu



Target: the factory at Lille
B-17 is in the middle of the formation horizontally, low in the formation vertically (High vulnerability)

The aircrew drags a stuttering Psicosis aboard and straps him into the pilot’s seat. Moments later…


Zone 1 Out: Britain

No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel

2 Me109s driven away by fighters

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

2FW190s, 1Me109, 1 Me110 attack – 1 FW190, 1 Me109, 1 Me110 driven away by fighters

2bikemike fires, misses
Fat Elvis fires, misses

FW misses, breaks off attack

2 Me109s are driven away by fighters

2FW190s, 1Me109, 1 Me110 attack –1 Me109 driven away by fighters

Old geezer fires, hits Me110
Fat Elvis fires, misses
Patteau fires, misses
Chief52 fires, misses
Old geezer fires, misses

Me109 scores 1 hit
- superficial damage to radio room

FW scores 2 hits
- superficial damage to port wing
- superficial damage to nose

FW and slightly Me109 circle and attack again

Old geezer fires, hits Me109
2bikemike fires, misses
Fat Elvis fires, misses

FW scores 1 hit
- Superficial damage to pilot compartment

Me misses and breaks off attack

FW circles and attacks again

Old geezer fires, misses
2bikemike fires, misses

FW misses and breaks off attack

Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
No Flak!
Top-notch bombing run by Clint in Wichita – 40% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

2 Me109s driven away by fighters

Five FW190s attack – 1 FW driven away by fighters

Clint in Wichita fires, misses
Fat Elvis fires, misses
Chiefsfan58 fires, damages FW190
2bikemike fires, misses
Ringleader fires, hits FW190
Patteau fires, misses
Old geezer fires, damages FW190
Clint in Wichita fires, misses

4 FWs miss after taking a pounding from Lucy Quipment’s gunners, break off attack.

Zone 2: English Channel

2 Me110s driven away by fighters

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects

None

Eligible for next mission

Pilot Psicosis
Copilot KCTitus
Bombardier Clint in Wichita
Navigator 2bikemike
Engineer Fat Elvis
Radio Op. chief52
Tail Gunner old_geezer
Ball Turret Gunner chiefsfan58
Right Waist Gunner RINGLEADER
Left Waist Gunner Patteeu

The crew douses old geezer with the 1940s equivalent of Gatorade for scoring hits on three enemy fighters. This flight had a very successful bombing run and damaged five enemy fighters to boot, at a cost of only some inconsequential bullet holes, one of which is in the sleeve of Psicosis' flight suit.

WE KICK ASS, BABY! WE KICK ASS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I need to change pants.

You really got into that "Bombs Away" thing, eh?

Plane #15 – Sack Time

Pilot Special Ed
Copilot KcMizzou
Bombardier Bearcat
Navigator alanm
Engineer gh4chiefs
Radio Op. mcan
Tail Gunner seclark
Ball Turret Gunner Luzap
Right Waist Gunner redhed
Left Waist Gunner ChiefGator


Target: the fighter base at Cherbourg
Mid-formation horizontally, high vertically (moderate vulnerability)

Will Bearcat’s mom get a second telegram?

Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel

4 Me109s attack – 1 is driven away by fighters

Gh4chiefs fires, misses
Alanm fires, misses
Bearcat fires, misses

1 Me misses, breaks off attack

Me scores 2 hits
-kcmizzou hit, serious wound to back of head
-superficial damage to waist

Me scores 2 hits
-radio room hit – Intercom system knocked out
-superficial damage to port wing

2 Mes circle and attack again. Without the intercom system, the gunners can’t communicate, which makes it impossible to coordinate fire and notify each other of incoming fighters. It is a major handicap.

Bearcat fires, misses
Gh4chiefs fires, misses

1 Me misses, breaks off attack

Me scores two hits
-superficial damage to nose
-superficial damage to nose

Me circles and attacks again

Gh4chiefs fires, misses

Me scores 2 hits, once again aiming into the nose of the aircraft
-Bearcat is hit, light wound to right foot
-alanm is hit, light wound to right hand
-superficial damage to port wing

Me breaks off attack and leaves

Special Ed weighs the situation. He can abort the mission with his copilot severely wounded and the intercom out. However, with lots of fighters in the area, dropping out of formation with no intercom could be very dangerous. Without the intercom, he does not know immediately that his navigator and bombardier are also wounded, so he opts to stay in formation and complete the bombing run to maintain the protection afforded by the other B-17s.

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

1 FW190 attacks

Mcan fires, misses

FW scores one hit
-superficial damage to tail

FW circles and attacks again

Redhed fires, misses

FW misses and breaks off attack


Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
No Flak!
Distracted by his bleeding foot, Bearcat misses the bomb mark – 0% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

5 FW 190s attack – 3 are driven off by fighters

Alanm fires, misses
Gh4chiefs fires, misses

Both FWs miss and break off attack

5 FW 190s attack – 3 are driven off by fighters

Bearcat fires, misses
Seclark fires, misses

Both FWs miss and break off attack

Zone 2: English Channel

No enemy

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects

Despite the serious wound, kcmizzou recovers well and can keep flying.

Eligible for next mission

Pilot Special Ed
Copilot KcMizzou
Bombardier Bearcat
Navigator alanm
Engineer gh4chiefs
Radio Op. mcan
Tail Gunner seclark
Ball Turret Gunner Luzap
Right Waist Gunner redhed
Left Waist Gunner ChiefGator

All’s well that ends well.

Sweet 16 baby! Fire Below takes flight!

That was a lucky flight!

Wow.

Slayer dead and Bearcat wounded. I suggest we send a group of about a dozen soldiers to go search for their remaining brother to get him out before he gets hurt. The Secretary doesn't want to write another letter to their mom.

:LOL:

If alamn hadn't been carressing Bearcats bunions, he wouldn't have been wounded.

Plane #16 – Fire Below

Pilot BIG_DADDY
Copilot Skip Towne
Bombardier RedNeckRaider
Navigator CHIEF4EVER
Engineer jcroft
Radio Op. Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
Tail Gunner Cannibal
Ball Turret Gunner Over-Head
Right Waist Gunner bishop_74
Left Waist Gunner CanadaKC

Target: Another bomber heads to Cherbourg
Mid-formation horizontally, high vertically (moderate vulnerability)

Zone 1 Out: Britain
No enemy

Zone 2 Out: English Channel
No enemy

Zone 3 Out: France (Entering Target Zone)

3 FW190s attack – 2 are driven away by fighters

Bishop74 fires, misses
Chief4ever fires, misses
Jcroft fires, misses

FW misses, breaks off attack

2 Me110s attack – 1 is driven away by fighters

Canadakc fires, misses
Over-head fires, misses
Jcroft fires, misses

Me misses, breaks off attack

Entering Bomb Zone
Good Weather
Heavy flak defense – 5 hits on B-17
-superficial damage to tail
-cannibal hit, light wound, loses half of right thumb (ouch).
-left port flap knocked out of commission
-starboard wing root damaged
-port wing root damaged (Root damage to both wings will make a lot of noise, but nothing else)

The multiple flak hits make it impossible for redneckraider to keep the bombsight on target – 0% score

Zone 3 Back: France (Leaving Target Zone)

3 FW190s attack – 2 are driven away by fighters

Chief4ever fires, misses
Bishop74 fires, misses

FW misses, breaks off attack

Zone 2: English Channel

4 Me 109s attack – 2 are driven away by fighters

Jcroft fires, misses
Bishop74 fires, misses
Redneckraider fires, hits Me109
Cannibal fires, misses
Canadakc fires, misses

Both Mes miss, break off attack

Zone 1: England

Good weather
Good landing

Aftereffects

Cannibal can only hitchhike in one direction from now on.

Eligible for next mission

Pilot BIG_DADDY
Copilot Skip Towne
Bombardier RedNeckRaider
Navigator CHIEF4EVER
Engineer Jcroft
Radio Op. Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
Tail Gunner Cannibal
Ball Turret Gunner Over-Head
Right Waist Gunner bishop_74
Left Waist Gunner CanadaKC

What a marksmanship display there, fellas. Redneckraider barely broke up the no-hitter.

I am impressed though. Cannibal loses half his thumb but keeps on shooting at the enemy! He should be put in for a medal for that show of courage!

We're next, LETS KICK SOME ARSE!!

HOOAH

so you are ready for our first time together :D

I don't think the thumb is the finger he uses the most anyway.


Wait.. that is kinda tragic. Without an opposable thumb, he won't be able to grasp his favorite things.

Oh yeah baby, lets do it!!