Dealt with my first bath salt smoker the other day, why the **** do people do that shit again?

Dude needed to work on his flexibility....

If police have their way, the next pose this suspect does will be for a mugshot.

A Florida man is accused of pleasuring himself during a visit to yoga class, authorities say.

The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office identified the suspect as Joseph Jordan, 42, following the incident at Power Yoga studio in San Marco around 9:30 a.m., Sunday.

According to a JSO report five minutes after the class started the instructor ... looks and sees the suspect with his hands in his pants. The report said he was masturbating and they confronted him, gave him a refund and escorted him out of the building.

The report said Joseph Jordan was wearing jean shorts and a white t-shirt.

Authorities say that Jordan, a registered sex offender, used his real name when signing up the the class.

"He filled out the form with a lot of his specific information," said Jacksonville Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Melissa Bujeda, according to News4Jax. "Maybe couldn't control himself once he was in there ... He wasn't trying to hide, which causes us more concern."

Hours later, Jordan was seen near a woman's bathroom on the University of North Florida campus. Authorities escorted away, not knowing about the earlier incident. A warrant for Jordan's arrest was not filed until Monday, according to WOKV.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...ushpmg00000022

He was wearing "Jorts" and still managed to FAP?


Creepy yet impressive.

Omg...if someone gave me a wegie like that....they wouldn't live to tell the tale.

Take THAT Grandpa!!!

A Florida man faces a battery charge after allegedly punching an 80-year-old man who asked him to stop cursing in an Applebee's.

Mikie Sawyer, 26, was arrested Sunday night after allegedly attacking Harry Sander, 80, at the Port Orange franchise of the chain restaurant.

Sander told police that he heard Sawyer "talking obscenities" at the bar, according to the Smoking Gun.

The alleged victim said he politely asked the suspect "If he could please stop using the ‘F’ word and stop talking so loud about ‘titties and ass,’” according to the police report.

Sander then leaned in close to Sawyer and said, “In my Germany you don’t speak in such a manner.”

Sawyer allegedly responded to Sander by saying, “I don’t care where you are from, whether it be Russia or Dutch,” the Daytona Beach News-Journal reports.

Sawyer then told Sander to go back to the other side of the bar, but Sander didn't move.

That's when the suspect allegedly punched the octogenarian in the face and pushed him backward so that the victim hit a table and then the floor, according to the newspaper.

Witnesses supposedly backed up Sander's claim.

Sawyer left the restaurant before police arrived but was pulled over a short time later.

Although Sawyer told police that Sander actually punched him, the police report noted that the suspect had no bruising on his face. He did have discolored and bruised knuckles and fingers, according to ClickOrlando.com.

Sawyer was charged with battery on a person over 65 years of age and disorderly conduct and booked at the Volusia County Branch Jail. He was later released on a $2,500 bond.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/1...&ir=Weird+News

The ****? I'd have knocked his old ass out too. You don't ask someone to stop talking about tits and ass. That's just not American.

He should have floated his idea to others before running off into the deep end.

This woman was in the daily mail.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...mother-80.html

This thread may need to die, our awesome fans from Fla almost have me convinced to move there...

Tammy Hiser doesn't like being ignored.

Her boyfriend, Andrew Whitaker, found that out Monday night when she threatened him with an ax, because he wouldn't talk to her, according to the Associated Press.

The incident began when Whitaker, 28, picked up the 34-year-old Hiser at Biggins, the Daytona Beach strip club where she works.

Hiser reportedly tried to talk with her boyfriend, but Whitaker ignored her because he was mad she was intoxicated.

“She is an entertainer, a dancer,” Whitaker told the Daytona Beach News-Journal. “And that is where the problem is because she drinks and drinks at work.”

Whitaker told police that Hiser's drinking was so bad that it got the couple kicked out of his mom's home, forcing them to stay in a hotel.

Hiser was allegedly so angry by Whitaker's silent treatment that she allegedly punched him repeatedly in the face until they got to the hotel where they were staying.

When the couple got to the hotel, Whitaker ran up to the room.

Hiser showed up there a few minutes later holding an ax. She allegedly told the victim that she would hit him with the ax if he called police, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

When Whitaker walked towards Hiser, she allegedly swung the ax at him, but he was able to take it away from her before he was hit.

"Her coordination was terrible so she was just slushing around," he said in the police report.

Whitaker called police, who arrested Hiser on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery causing bodily harm.

As of Wednesday, she's behind bars on $3,000 bail.

Hiser was also arrested for battery on Sept. 18 for allegedly beating Whitaker after he said he'd break up with her if she didn't stop drinking.

Despite that fight, Whitaker told the Orlando Sentinel he is trying to get the felony charge dropped.

He told the paper: "I see spending the rest of my life with her."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/1...&ir=Weird+News

I'm so glad this thread is still alive. My radio segment "this week's important Florida news" was absolutely a ripoff from this thread.

And there you go......... LMAO

Thieves steal 36,000 pounds of Crisco....could be planning the world's largest Crisco Twister party....

Update Oct. 14, 11:13 a.m.: The St. Petersburg Police Department says the stolen tractor-trailer was located in Hialeah. There’s no word on whether the Hialeah Police Department also found that missing 36,000 pounds of Crisco.

Earlier:

Some slick auto thieves cooked up some trouble in St. Petersburg over the weekend when police say they stole a tractor-trailer containing about 36,000 pounds of Crisco sticks.

The truck was swiped early Sunday morning from Coastal Towing, 2390 118th Ave. N., according to an email to media from the police department. The Crisco was meant for delivery to the Publix supermarkets distribution center in Lakeland, police said.

http://patch.com/florida/stpete/thie...r#.VD1My-euXWZ

This could just be idiots or something worse. There is an explosive that you can make from Crisco but you need very large amounts of it to make a good sized bomb.