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Pneuma 01-05-2009 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser (Post 5352908)
Being a "nice guy" does not mean you will get laid.

This nugget of advise was one of the most difficult and painful things to learn...

Fire Me Boy! 01-05-2009 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trench (Post 5358939)
Holy crap! That's even better than (also something not to say to wife/girlfriend) "did you want to talk about something or did you just call to bitch at me?"

It was bad news. Bad news.

Mr. Plow 01-05-2009 12:27 PM

I had this conversation with my wife this morning:

Her: "This person at work said this to me, how dare she. Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Uh huh. Really?" **trying to work through her bitching**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Ok. Sorry to hear that." **still trying to work through her bitching**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Uh huh. Ok." **work is getting harder now as bitching/whining becomes louder**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Ok. Well, just send it over to her, let her take care of the customer. It's her problem, not yours."

Her: "I can't do that to the customer, she had already been transferred twice."

Me: "Ok, so take care of the customer and just forget it."

Her: "But she does this all the time."

Me: "Tell her to stop transferring her customers and to stop putting her work off onto you."

Her: "She'll just get pissed and then I'll have to deal with that for the next month."

Me: "Ok. So what do you want from me?"

Her: "I just wanted you to listen while I vented."

Me: "I've got other shit to do."

Her: "I guess it's too hard to just listen to me vent."

Me: "Well, that's all you women do.....vent about other people. I have shit to do."

Her: **storms out of my office**


**Note to women: If you don't want a man to fix your problem, go vent to another woman. That's what men do....fix things. It's in our nature. Women bitch, men fix.

kindra68 01-05-2009 12:32 PM

1. You can get kicked off a balcony, in New Orleans, on Bourbon Street, during Mardi Gras.
2. Even though you have on enough beads to totally cover your front, you still have to wear a shirt, during Mardi Gras, in New Orleans on Bourbon Street.
3. Do be careful of how many Hurricanes you drink, and how fast you drink them. If you do not heed this advice you might wake up in a van, under an overpass with a bag of smushed white castle burgers thinking, "what the hell happened last night?"
4. Find a bar with a restroom and stay there.
5. If you find yourself getting bored and do not heed 4, do not start drinking straight vodka over ice just so you can use a new bars restroom.
6. During Mardi Gras you can easily consume three to four time more alcohol than normal. I do not recommend this.

Fire Me Boy! 01-05-2009 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kindra68 (Post 5359040)
2. Even though you have on enough beads to totally cover your front, you still have to wear a shirt, during Mardi Gras, in New Orleans on Bourbon Street.

Umm... pics?

MIAdragon 01-05-2009 12:34 PM

ALWAYS give ample warning before you put it in her butt.

seclark 01-05-2009 12:38 PM

2 or 3 years ago.
early spring...took the wife and daughter out mushroom hunting. as we're walking through the woods, we came to an old rotted tree that was still standing. eager to prove my manly strength i said, "watch this" and began pushing against the trunk of the tree, rocking it back and forth trying to get it to fall over.

the wife said, "i don't think you should be doing that.", which i ignored.

all at once the trunk of the tree broke about 18feet up, and the top swung down and cracked me on the side of the head, dislocating my jaw and knocking me senseless.

so, the girls took me to the emergency room, where my jaw was put back into the socket, and 28 stitches placed into the side of my head.

i've never lived it down.
sec

kindra68 01-05-2009 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy! (Post 5359049)
Umm... pics?

heck if i know where they are now, this was back when i was cute, young and skinny! haha

Lzen 01-05-2009 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow (Post 5359020)
I had this conversation with my wife this morning:

Her: "This person at work said this to me, how dare she. Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Uh huh. Really?" **trying to work through her bitching**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Ok. Sorry to hear that." **still trying to work through her bitching**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Uh huh. Ok." **work is getting harder now as bitching/whining becomes louder**

Her: "Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, nag nag nag, whine whine whine."

Me: "Ok. Well, just send it over to her, let her take care of the customer. It's her problem, not yours."

Her: "I can't do that to the customer, she had already been transferred twice."

Me: "Ok, so take care of the customer and just forget it."

Her: "But she does this all the time."

Me: "Tell her to stop transferring her customers and to stop putting her work off onto you."

Her: "She'll just get pissed and then I'll have to deal with that for the next month."

Me: "Ok. So what do you want from me?"

Her: "I just wanted you to listen while I vented."

Me: "I've got other shit to do."

Her: "I guess it's too hard to just listen to me vent."

Me: "Well, that's all you women do.....vent about other people. I have shit to do."

Her: **storms out of my office**


**Note to women: If you don't want a man to fix your problem, go vent to another woman. That's what men do....fix things. It's in our nature. Women bitch, men fix.

ROFL

Iowanian 01-05-2009 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 5358936)
What do the ice and bleach do? Is that a way to prevent your drain pipes from getting clogged or something? Do you use straight bleach?


NO. When I grind up stinky stuff/food in the garbage disposal, I put some ice in it...grind it with water to help get out some of the funky-gunk and then pour in a couple of glugs of laundry bleach.


The most grief I caught was about the egg smell wafting through the house.

I ended up leaving to go visit my brother, and ended up on a mandventure. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Iowanian 01-05-2009 01:01 PM

I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered.

When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.

MIAdragon 01-05-2009 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5359161)
I learned the lesson Mr Plow is getting at long ago, but still don't have it mastered.

When women are bitching about work/friends/stuff....they DO NOT want solutions offered. They just want you to listen, and not try to stick your thumb in their butt while they're distracted. Just listen....zone out......try to nod with interest.....don't respond.

Im not so sure on this one, if I don’t throw in a "that’s bullshit!!" or "some people!?" every now and then she thinks I’m not listening and then I become the focus of her angst.

Pablo 01-05-2009 01:05 PM

My younger brother and I are a year and half apart. As teenagers, we often got in fistfights, terrible fights that sometimes ended with dental work and doctors visits.

When I was probably about 14 years old, we got in a bad fight outside of my grandma's house. Somewhere along the way, to end the beat down, he grabbed a bottle of flea and tick spray off of the porch and sprayed me in the eyes. Instead of worrying about the intense pain in my eyes and being effectively blinded, I was intent on knocking his head off. So, I chased him around, blinded, wildly swinging, hoping to kill him instead of getting inside and flushing out my eyes.

He proceeded to run inside and lock me out of the house. It was the middle of summer too, so it didn't help that it was like 100 degrees out and my eyes were melting inside of my head. So I stood at the door, begging for him to let me inside so I could flush out my eyes. Which he agreed to, under the pretense that I wouldn't swing at him anymore.

So I get inside, and being the incredibly smart guy I am when I'm mad, I don't even worry about my throbbing eyes anymore; and as soon as he opens the door, I come after him again. And he still has the flea and tick spray in his hand....and he hits me with it again.

Then I give up and lay on the floor in the kitchen dying, and beg him to help me flush my eyes out in the sink. That was a really hard lesson.

When someone agrees to let you inside to flush out your eyes because they have flea and tick spray in them, and all they ask is that you don't swing at them anymore...don't swing at them.

Iowanian 01-05-2009 01:07 PM

You're right, and what I meant with fein interest. "you don't say" "I'll be damned" "that bitch"......are much different than "what you should do is stop listening to her bitch about her job, tell her to shutup and get a new one if its so bad"

MIAdragon 01-05-2009 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5359193)
You're right, and what I meant with fein interest. "you don't say" "I'll be damned" "that bitch"......are much different than "what you should do is stop listening to her bitch about her job, tell her to shutup and get a new one if its so bad"

Exactly!!


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