How do you hate a team that sucks?

This is not good, Mr. Rain Man. Not good at all.

When you weren't looking, Bill may have snuck up behind you and slapped the Curse of Random Deafness on your ass.

FAX

Wow, i didnt realize you were capable of such meager things.

Welcome back dude. How is the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX doing?

Hey there, Mr. Frankie. Great to see you.

She's doing very well. Thanks for asking. Essentially, the docs have given her a green light to start living a normal life again. It was a trial, but she persevered and is now back to being herself. Almost. There are a couple of minor scars, but we've come up with a story having to do with a flat tire, a one-legged chicken, and a knife fight outside a Mexican bar that takes care of that. Otherwise, she's become a tad spoiled from all the attention, I think. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for "un-spoiling" a woman, would you?

FAX

Found him again!!!!

I dunno,... antifreeze?


OK, bad joke, but you know I didn't mean it. Fact is a good woman deserves to be spoiled every once in a while. The good ones don't STAY spoiled.

This is disturbing. I just thought maybe the sound wasn't working on the TV tonight, and that my cat had lost his voice.

Is Bill Simmons related to Richard Simmons??

...otherwise, I have no friggin' clue who this guy is...

I don't either, Mr. InChiefsHell. I had to look him up.

According to Wikipedia, he's some kind of sports writer or podcaster or something, is nicknamed "Sports Guy", and has a cat named "Purr" Simmons.

FAX

I like Simmons, I think he can be funny, but he does kind of do the "(insert name of city) sucks"
Jacksonville as a Super Bowl city sucked, Houston sucked. I don't read him much anymore because I consider ESPN the MTV of sports, but I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't taken some shots at Tampa this week. He's probably got a stock column about every city in the league, saying how bad it sucks, just in case he goes there. I'm not offended by him saying it, just that it's tired schtick.

Bill Simmons is the best columnist in America. Followed closely by Whitlock.

You must not be doing it right fax. I learned from my childhood in TN, that you shine a high powered flashlight in a frog's eyes, and he will not move. At that point you just walk up to him, pick him up, and wring him out like a wet rag.

1) This.


2) **** em'

Facts like this are why I love this place.

I learned something today.