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All the work that it takes to get it in there makes it not worth it. Lots of lube+patience and a couple of "owe, owe, owes" kinda kills it. And it doesn't even really feel better IMO. With that said, i'd still take it if given the chance, lol. I tell my girl all the time, "if you just let me have it when i want it, I won't really want it anymore" |
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My friends have said the same thing and they've said I was full of it also. I'm just telling the story how I remember it. To be fair, it was dark and I never actually witnessed any supposed anal. Perhaps she just farted as soon as I looked down, but I have no idea what she could have been "referencing" too other than her ass. Feel free to call bullshit though, because it certainly hasn't been the first time. I do ask that you don't poke fun at my massive 3'' erection though. :D |
Out drinking one night got a booty call from an old “friend”. Having nothing better to do, and face time with a movie sounds good, I head over to his house.
We chill on the couch, drink a few beers, and watch a bit of whatever movie was playin. Movie was boring so we head back to his room. It’s dark; we get naked and start playing around. Next thing I know he’s all gruntin and huffin and puffin. I’m thinking WTF? And then I realize “holy shit! I think, HE thinks, he’s ****ing the hell outta me!!” so as I lay there, his sweat dripping off his face and onto my chest, my inner voice says, “damn! Now I remember why I quit ****ing him years ago! He has the smallest dick ever seen!” So with that I ramp up ol’ Meg Ryan and he gets off. well I get up, throw on my clothes, tell him thanks for the romp but I have to get home. You know, early workday and all. The bad thing about all of this is, as I was telling this story to a friend a few years back. The look of utter shock and fear crossed her face, and it confused me. I told her it was no biggy since he had moved off and we hadn’t fooled around since then. And as she stared into my eyes and shook her head “no” she said Kindra, you do not have an inner voice, not even sober. There is no way in hell you all of a sudden got an “inner voice” when you were drunk. And you know I thought about it and thought about it. I can be a cold hearted bitch when needed, but there’s no way, even after a few beers, that I told him he had a small dick. And I know there was no whiskey involved that night. |
It was yesterday.
My employee quit to go work for my best client doing the same thing. A kiss on the neck and a lubricated condom might have helped. |
Other than an arm-numbing blow job, I can't really think of one. I guess probably my first time. I wasn't very good.
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College
Drunk She's a 4 Tried to give a handie and about tore it off. No satisfaction I had to see her three days a week in physics class BAD BAD BAD |
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When I think of hand jobs and blow jobs, I think of that more as foreplay. You guys consider that sex?
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Met a girl at starbucks. We decided to go shag.
After a mediocre makeout session she refused to blow me. She was pretty average looking. Clothes came off, and she was COVERED in acne. Everywhere. No blowjob, the horror of it all, I went limp. Made her PPV porn to get me hard. Got hard. Attempted insertion, was still horrified completely, went limp. Went home. Moral of the story: don't hook up with chicks unless you're actually attracted to them. |
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