So blumpkins don't seem to be as big as hit as one would think

Current gf is a no go

Never heard of it? Who makes this stuff up?

Creepy

Go to urban dictionary. You'll see all kinds of crazy shit

The proper term for this is Hot Carl.

So of you have way too much time on your hands...

Sorry what'd you say? I was distracted by the bubbles

I believe this is called a Blump. Blumpkin is when the service is performed by a relative, usually a cousin, e.g. "kin."

And, no. Gross.

NO.

FREAK.

One year I named my fantasy football team "The Splashing Blumpkins."

Does that count?

ESPN did reject it eventually. But that's ok because the "White Mandingos" then went championship.

The actual act itself?

Not so much. I feel like if I ever found a girl with such questionable morals and poor decision making skills to want to do that I'd need to make it really worth her while and I'm not sure I have the fortitude to go on a 6 week nothing but rum and mangoes diet to make that happen.

W T F