Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13625877)

I wrestled for 14 years.

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut (Post 13625580)

Okay, so what if Iowanian just goes kamikazee. I've been looking at the escalator as being largely taken out by the initial positioning, but let's say that SK is running up that thing and Iowa just catches him flat footed and literally dives at him from the platform. Granted, the backup taser comes into play at that point, but any of us that have played football know that if you take a form tackle at speed to the chest, your marbles are scrambled for a second or so.

So at the whistle, Iowanian looks like he's gonna accept the charge and try to hit him on the run with the boomerang but instead he just crouches down and as soon as that sword comes back the dives into his chest and blasts them both down the stairs. At that point he has the close-quarters advantage with those little edged boomerangs vs. Sofa, who's now trapped between the rails on an escalator and presumably can't even get the sword drawn unless he ends up on top of Iowa.

That's his only path to the W, IMO. Gotta zig instead of zag there and catch him napping. Maybe if sofa runs up the escalator with the sword pointed forward like a bayonet charge he could kill that strategy and then go for a stab instead of a slice. I presume a samurai sword has a pointed end so he should still be okay. In either event, if Iowanian is committed to the strategy he'd still be a shitload of mass flying with that stair to push off of, so that's a ton of force. There's nothing SK could do to prevent getting blasted, he'd just have to hope that the impaling throws Iowanian off enough that he's able to get on top of him and administer the coup de gras...

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 13625938)

Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 13625938)

Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut (Post 13625580)

Okay, so what if Iowanian just goes kamikazee. I've been looking at the escalator as being largely taken out by the initial positioning, but let's say that SK is running up that thing and Iowa just catches him flat footed and literally dives at him from the platform. Granted, the backup taser comes into play at that point, but any of us that have played football know that if you take a form tackle at speed to the chest, your marbles are scrambled for a second or so.

So at the whistle, Iowanian looks like he's gonna accept the charge and try to hit him on the run with the boomerang but instead he just crouches down and as soon as that sword comes back the dives into his chest and blasts them both down the stairs. At that point he has the close-quarters advantage with those little edged boomerangs vs. Sofa, who's now trapped between the rails on an escalator and presumably can't even get the sword drawn unless he ends up on top of Iowa.

That's his only path to the W, IMO. Gotta zig instead of zag there and catch him napping. Maybe if sofa runs up the escalator with the sword pointed forward like a bayonet charge he could kill that strategy and then go for a stab instead of a slice. I presume a samurai sword has a pointed end so he should still be okay. In either event, if Iowanian is committed to the strategy he'd still be a shitload of mass flying with that stair to push off of, so that's a ton of force. There's nothing SK could do to prevent getting blasted, he'd just have to hope that the impaling throws Iowanian off enough that he's able to get on top of him and administer the coup de gras...

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 13625938)

Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.

Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13625877)

I wrestled for 14 years.

Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13625578)

Wow, I win this one easy. The boomerangs are shit, not enough time for the BB gun and the salt is utterly worthless. I’m cutting his damn feet off on my way up and letting him tumble to death . I can be up those stairs in a heartbeat with my long athletic legs. Easy victory. My only regret is that Iowanian has to die. Also, I may rub his own salt in his ankle wounds and taser him before he dies. So I guess I don’t regret it at all.

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 13626102)

Sorry I could t respond earlier, I was at boomerang class with chuck Norris

Simple simon..I wrestled 14 years too.....in the big leagues....Iowa. I wrestled terry ficking brands in freestyle when I was a sophomore. You wrestled fat reservation squaws....



I know at first glance you all think I'm a dead man....but know if I go I'll have one of sofas ears in my head as it bounces down the escalator(which reminds me of the story where I knocked a stack of plastic totes full of conference supplies down an escalator in front of 200 people).....


My weapons aren't ideal....you don't have to throw a boomerang.....I'm seeing two curved tomahawks. You've seen the Ghost in The Patriot?

Well....that's not my plan......I'm using more of a braveheart method vs charging Calvary. I don't have long poles to stab this donkey faced snow Mexican....so I'm charging and when he goes to swing high, I'm doing an up-down.......as I hit the ground while he swings over the top the escalator moves me past.....as he tries to turn I'm popping back up and swinging for the brain in the back of his head.


If he's too ninja like the guy with the Judy chops and chew cans on Jerry springer, I hope the goo from my body being splattered infects him with my mojo and gives him my lions roar in the next round.


If I win, I'm taking his credit card and doing some shopping before it gets shut off.