I believe it was in my semimonthly subscription to "Fetish gazette"

Moooo

Yep, and probably promise to respect ya in the morning too :thumb:

You said you didn't sleep with her, so I could get drinks and not have to worry about you wanting to get in my pants.

No... That's not for me.

You'd be okay with your job being getting paid to have people sniff your feet? I'd be freaked out.

Moooo

One of my best friend's girlfriends works at a women's clothing store in Caesar's Palace and she said that one of her employees has a deal worked out with some freak where he pays her $800 a month to give him her worn shoes.

Swear to Christ.

She has to wear them for 2 weeks first though and they have to be different shoes every time. She gets new shoes every 2 weeks AND this pervert douche pays her rent...

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.

Nice One!!

I'm not going to share some intimate info she'd castrate me for so I'll just say that I really don't have to worry about her getting off...

I used to get a guilt trip laid on me by my ex cause I would be totally content with her getting hers and me not getting any. I was like, "Who bitches about this!?!"

Personally, I just really don't care about myself during sex. Its fun and all, but as far as the big O I'll take it or leave it without too much frustration...

Moooo

Hell for a hundred bucks they can have my work socks.

That's not a question of intimacy, that's a question of motive.

What’s a Truck drivers version of foreplay?"Get in the bunk bitch"

I was with a girl who had an orgasm when I was licking her ear. She said it was because she had a crush on me for a long time. Either way, it made for an interesting night. I didn't believe her at first, but she admitted to it even after we broke up so...

She turned out to be a psycho.

Moooo

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Oh you were serious??

I knew a girl like that in high school. The 'orgasm if I tweak her nipples' type.

Not very challenging.

That guy in that pic has a cow face.

No, it's a question of intimacy.

Let's just say that if sex were a race she'd always win...

That's even funnier when you think about it with "East Bound and Down" playing in the background.

You know how you'd feel if she got you off, but you were unable to get her off? She probably felt the same way. She feels good, having gotten off, but she's also disappointed that she couldn't do the same for you. At least, that's how I'd feel.

Odds are she was always a female then, and at least you've got that going for ya'...

I'm just the opposite. Seems like it takes me forever.

I totally disagree. I knew a girl like this. The key is to get them something different from the norm. She would go nuts if I would tease her for a while before letter her have one. She said it felt more intense.

With a girl who takes forever, (try and) give her a faster one, and it will seem more intense to her, cause its a deviation from the norm.

Moooo

Try new batteries ROFL

Hey now.

But I don't care. I'm not bragging cause I don't think its my own greatness, but I've had luck of having girlfriends with mostly quick triggers in my day. So I don't know what its like really, cause they always wanted to.

Like I said, I just don't care one way or another.

Moooo

Actually, it's pretty quick when I'm using BOB.

See the cattle prod thread... LOL

KIDDDING, LUV!!! :)

For me, it's a sense of accomplishment. I'm happy for them, but I'm also happy for me. That, and I just like seeing that oh-face.

Then it can be quick with the right guy... I mean, you couldn't get me to be quick if I was with a chick who had no clue what I liked and wouldn't listen to me. Maybe its the same thing...

Moooo

Nothing like a good SEX thread to bring out the night crew. Pervs!

:eek:

There’s nothing funnier than a fu*k face

This is more like it. I hate boring nights on here. And I tend to dirty minded.

Well, yes; that goes without saying.

I've always enjoyed discussing such things with partners. Ask and discuss what your female likes and wants. She's already letting you stick your dick in her; asking her and learning (if it's not demonstrably evident) what gets her motor to redline shouldn't be an issue.

LOL... I think we may have hit a lull point. Say something else, luv.

All eyes on you!

Moooo

Do you want it to be quick, though?

You know, this conversation is even more interesting when I envision having it with Robert Oppenheimer. ROFL

In all seriousness, I'll take the quick trigger any day. That's a blessing from god. Its only downfall is that I'm the guy who likes being on bottom, and the chicks can't keep going if they're too quick.

Moooo

You can PM all those dirty thoughts to me, if that will help you clear your head.

Whoops I said Head, oh shit,.......whoops that pisses me off I said shit-gross i didn't mean piss as in golden showers, twat did I say, tits okay I will finger it out later.

The amount of time expended is mostly irrelevant, IMO. Sex is goal oriented, not time-oriented.

Then I must have really spiced things up Thursday night :D

"You think that's good sex? I could have done that same thing in 28 seconds!"

I heard a comedian say that once.

Moooo

World class sex can be long/short doesn’t matter.
Once you find what works stick with it.
But IMO there's nothing like simultaneous orgasms with your partner.(after you've made her scream for god at least a dozen times :D

To me, quickies are for daytime. Nooners, if you will. I guess if you have to get up and go to work the next morning, it would be different too. To me, nighttime is about foreplay as well as sex, so it would take a little longer. I feel more sensual giving a massage in the dark by candlelight. During the day, I'm different.

I can't think of anything realted to sex that only takes 28 seconds...

At least you have a choice. My body doesn't know the meaning of the term "quickie." It gets kinda annoying when if you want to get something yourself, you have to invest a ton of time and energy into it.

Sometimes after a hard day, you don't want to have to down a bottle of water afterwards...

Moooo

And luv, no, most men (unless they are really tired) do NOT want it to be 'quick.' I'm sure you know this, but most men view 'going a long time' to be a sign of their virility.

Your gonna give goat boy a wet dream, ya know that right??

didn't Chris Rock, talk about that once-"fuck her dry, til she starts to cry."

turning off the light

Donks choking in the Championship game.

Who Turns off the light?

<--- In total agreeance with this statement...

Moooo

How is that related to sex?

Never go to Halfcan's house on a Sunday (or anyday for that matter).

Moooo

I like daytime sex. Just something about it. But if it's dark, turn out the lights and light the candles.

Thats how long it will take before the Faders season will be over. Sorry OH-but it is true-lol


That is how long it takes Jake the Fake to run someone off the road.

That is how long the last American Idols career will last.

Peh. Kidless sex is easy. Wait until you have kids.

Talk about a paradigm shift.

This is the planet darlen, we’ll make it work somehow

I'm sure its like trying to have sex with your parents in the house, only for 18 years straight.

Moooo

Well got to go, it’s 5:30am, been up since 3 (couldn’t sleep) must go back to bed and wake up the wife :hump:

Well hell I was just going to have one last smoke and check out the planet before passing out and I see this thread.

Welcome to Sex Ed 101. Possibly 201.

Uhh, no. It's not like trying to have sex with your parents. At least, I don't think so. Then again, I've never tried to do that.

With your parents in the house. Talk about trying to be quiet. Imagine having sex at your in-law's house. Wait, wasn't it you that got walked in on? Never mind.

Here’s a quick re-cap
Luv’s got her freak on
Halfcan’s drooling
Me and Moooo are chasing people around with cattle prod’s
Rausch is holding back on the good stuff.

That about cover it?

Excuse my misplaced modifier... JEEZ!

It's like trying to have sex while your parents are in the house with you.

Freakin grammar police around here... IT'S 3AM!

Moooo

It has nothing to do with nothing-I just like saying that the Donks Choked away a SB.

I was going on the theme of: things that take less than 28 seconds.

Like the amount of time it takes Gochief to log off beofre his Mom catches him looking at the naughty sites again. or

28 seconds;
The amount of time it took me to post more useless filler, which like most of my post, usually don't add any meaningful thought or ideas to the discusion, but are just inchoherently poorly spelled, Hyjacking bullshit.

Shit,I passed those courses years ago.after 43 years I've got a doctor's degree

Moooo + cattle prod = sweet revenge

Talk about hit a nerve!
Me and the Mrs have been sharing a house with her mother for 3 years. Trying to help her get the bills taken care of etc.
(our house is gonna be ready next week PBJ)
ITS WORSE than having kids

My MiL walked in on my wife giving me head while she was staying at our house, yes.

Yep,I'm drunk,I read it like that

The Repost Police are monitoring this thread-but not the grammar police.

Soon to be the Dream police-they live inside of my head....whoops said head again.

I believe in accuracy and precision in everything I do, regardless of time of day.

I can only guess you're planning the "initiation" of every room? That's what I did in my first place of my own... But there were only two rooms and the bathroom so it wasn't that difficult to do.

Moooo

ROFL

Fixed your post.

Awesome... I think that's just what they get for being dumb.

When I'm at someone else's house, I walk around like I've got wooden clogs on and announce myself whenever I enter a room.

Moooo