What’s wrong with marrying a slut? Asking for my brother.

For all you internet tough guys:

https://youtu.be/qrDp98bQwhw

If he has to ask...

^
Crashes weddings in hopes of catching the bouquet.

Crashes septuagenarian weddings in hopes of getting a bridesmaid gummy.

Am I the only one who caught the most shocking news in this thread?

Someone found Frazod to be an irresistible piece of ass?!

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue – ChiefsPlanet Threads

Starting Distance – IP Address Dependent

Cave Johnson

Main Weapon – MG42 AIDS thread infecting machine gun

Backup Weapon – All the time in the world

Prep Time - 3 Minutes

Special Factors – Combatant has absolutely zero self-awareness, self-respect, or the ability to observe a situation beyond its own perception and virtually unlimited ammo while harboring great vindictiveness

ChiefsPlanet Threads

Main Weapon – Neg Rep, Thumbs Down, & Insults from bystanders

Backup Weapon – none

Prep Time - 2 seconds

Special Factor – A MOD may have been drinking or had a bad day and stumbles into thread.

LMAO

That’s pretty good.

I had a girlfriend once who told everybody that she thought I was an asshole, but the sex was great. She'd literally come over, **** me, and leave. That was basically all we did. We didn't go out on dates, and I hardly ever spent any money on her.

It was wonderful. :D

I am an attorney. And I do divorces in Kansas.

Last time I tried to give advice in a thread a certain poster who shall remain nameless tried for several pages to argue with me. I've neither the time nor the inclination to deal with that again, and he's already posted in here, so I know he's about.

PM me. I may be able to give you some fast, simple answers.

And, lest anyone think I'm trolling for business (which I'm not... I'm actually working on two divorces tonight, so I have plenty of work), there is no charge for the conversation.

Hi, I’m reporter Kevin Holmes with Action 41 News. I’m currently working on a story of people who have never been laid, would you care to do an on screen interview?

^ in actuality he probably gets more than most likely n here. Never amazed the amount pieces of shit men pull.

1 million percent chance he's talking about cooper barrett.

Kill yourself.

Bowser chewed up the fifi

[QUOTE='Hamas' Jenkins;13630001]1 million percent chance he's talking about cooper barrett.



:D

My lips are sealed. Mainly because I don't want to be pulled back into an argument again, and I don't trust myself not to respond if the poster pushes the right buttons.

Don’t understate your position, Hamas

You seem like such a nice Christian brother.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/0e77...itemid=4649215

https://media1.tenor.com/images/9074...itemid=4883448

http://https://media1.tenor.com/imag...temid=10207026

https://media1.tenor.com/images/0c23...itemid=4874115

Odd reaction from an obvious fan of Dave Chappelle.

You should marry that woman, and then live across town from her.

I came up with a wonderful and perfectly apt descriptive phrase for her - vertically useless. :D

You do realize that the OP poster does not mention his well worn #2 pencil dick.

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You do realize that the OP poster does not mention his well worn #2 pencil dick.
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https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...28/091/093.jpg

If you have the money to sit down with the top three divorce attorneys in your area, consult with each, pick the one you like, and keep the other two on retainer in the meantime. Your spouse will not be able to use them.

FYI

Missouri Statute 452.335 lays out the different instances in which alimony can be ordered by a judge. You only need to look further into the uses of a Missouri alimony calculator if both of the following are true in your situation:





1. One spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for their own needs, assuming that those needs are reasonable.

2. The same spouse cannot provide for their own reasonable needs through appropriate employment, because of disabilities rendering appropriate employment impossible or because a minor child or disabled adult is in their custody so that circumstances prevent employment outside the home.

God, what the hell is wrong with you?
Posted via Mobile Device

If divorce is absolutely going to happen, when they start figuring out the division of equity, put as much of that as humanly possibly into alimony. Thats what i was lucky enough to do. You're losing that money/stuff anyway, but if its alimony it gives you tax relief at least (and she gets dinging with a higher income).

If you post your intentions to commit a crime on a BB... then I'd be surprised if the wife doesn't get him beat to shit and his dog killed just to make points in court.

Wrong Dickhead, I got a MO divorce when it was all said and done.

Get the sheetrock saw out of your ass. FAST!!!!!!!

http://www.diseno-art.com/images_4/drywall_saw.jpg

[QUOTE=Yosef_Malkovitch;13630019]As I recall you're not listed as a "top" lawyer in Doo Dah. But I can see you doing divorces and pedophile cases

cooper needs to chill with the idiocy in this thread at the very least. MEH... **** it, he's not here to help

I don't know how in what world it is RIGHT, ETHICAL or REASONABLE that when two people part ways the one that has more assets or makes more money gets completely ****ed. That is the worst part of marriage. I'd be married by now if I hadn't heard all of the stories.

Because when you marry you become one unit in the eyes of the state. So when you split there isn't her shit and your shit, it's just the shit belonging to the entity. And if the entity becomes 2 separate entities, the logical solution is half.

Yeah, it sucks, but it's the law man.

I already told him he can protect the assets he already has. It's moving forward that's the problem

[QUOTE=cooper barrett;13631128]Ahhh, there we go. Good ol' Cooper Blowhard. Since you outed yourself, I'll go ahead and confirm Hamas's guess. Yes, it was you.

And no, I won't be drawn into another discussion with you. I've better things to do with my time.

[QUOTE=Yosef_Malkovitch;13631241]He won't be able to respond in this thread anymore.

[QUOTE=SAUTO;13631248]Thanks for letting me know. I was steeling myself to not respond to the onslaught of insults and long-winded stories about how he knows so much more than me even though, ya'know, I'm the one with more than a decade of experience practicing law.

OP: the offer stands. You may have already talked to an attorney, but if not, PM me. No charge to talk and let you bounce ideas off me.

I only do uncontested divorces (and that doesn't sound like what you've got) so I won't be able to do everything that you need, but I'm happy to knock ideas back and forth.

AFter being married twice, with both ending up cheating, I have come to terms that it was my fault in the end. There had to be a reason that two women I loved would do this. The reasons are personal but I figured it out.

My joke to people is that I can get the woman, I just can't KEEP the woman.

baitism - If her cheating is something you can never forgive then move forward with divorce, heeding the advice given here. If not and you want to save this, ask why it happened and work on that.

That's the problem with marriage...it takes away a man's ability to give a woman options for her actions, which results either in a happier, healthier relationship, or a quicker, less painful breakup on a relationship that would fail anyway.

In bait's case, her cheating could allow him to give her the option to end the relationship, or to stay but with demotions (i.e. she loses her say, he gets side pussy, etc.). But since he's married, the options go away as courts are unacceptably biased towards women. With marriage, it's just fingers crossed that the woman won't do something ****ed up and get rewarded for it anyway.

GTFO. You missed the point entirely.

And I'm not implying this is his fault. Just offering a life lesson. In the end, if you are giving your WIFE what she needs and she to you, cheating doesn't happen. Unless she's a nympho or something.

First lesson in marriage: Don't stop ****ing your wife.

I'm not saying it's his fault either, just saying that the game of marriage is rigged to the point of absurdity.

As for your claim (paraphrased) to "do right by her and she won't cheat," divorce/family courts across this country are absolutely saturated with the shattered lives and hopes of men who had that optimistic, yet misguided, mindset. It goes beyond giving her good sex; it's a mindset where she looks at you with admiration and respect.

Women's cheating isn't like men's, where men just want to get off on something different. Women's cheating is more emotional. A man can cheat, then go home and continue the relationship. If a woman cheats, then the relationship was over long before that.

But again, married vs. not married messes up the dynamic.

FYP

women want:

love
security

men want:

respect
fidelity

Men want: feed me, **** me and then STFU.

That is so totally false.

People do shitty things to others for all sorts of reasons and we don't rush to blame the victim. If someone steals from you we don't say "Well you're the problem! You didn't lock your garage door properly!" No, we say "That person is a shit and should face charges"

With respect to sex, sure; there's some compatibility there. And if you bark at someone all the time they won't be turned on. But people who cheat are generally just assholes

They both want the same things.

That's totally false. Premarital assets are generally protected esp for short duration marriages.


And why shouldn't couples split marital assets? They married. They're of Equal importance both as earners and parents. And both need some financial means to care for kids if they're involved

No, that's a teenager mentality.

100% truth. Because I owned the house before the divorce, (and the equity in it before hand) I walked away with it and she walked away with the cc debt

Don’t stay married for over a year. Short duration duly noted.

You shouldn't have to put them on retainer. Any attorney you consult with will put you on their conflict list. Consulting with every attorney in town is an especially effective strategy in small towns. It really increases you legal costs when you have to pay for your attorney to drive an hour each way.

[QUOTE=SAUTO;13631248
He won't be able to respond in this thread anymore.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, SAUTO. While I'm usually not a fan of silencing someone, the OP came here for advice and support, we don't need pages of bickering and insults between other members.

That's exactly what happened in the other thread, too. Someone asked for some legal input, I stated my opinion as a lawyer, and Cooper Barrett started arguing/insulting.

Sheesh. Try to be helpful to someone and that's what you get in return. :shake:

I can't figure that guy out. I *think* he's old, but he acts like he's 16.
Posted via Mobile Device

I think I encountered Sandy Barrett on another Chiefs forum years ago. The commenting styles were very very similar, and they did most of their talking through pictures and large color fonts. He was a loon there, and is a loon here too.

Glad to see actual people offering some advice here. Divorce sucks. If you can hammer it out without court/arbitration, you'll both save a metric shit ton of money. The assets as alimony thing was something I was able to do, and it worked as well as a shitty situation could. Keep your head up, once its all over, it will get better and surprisingly fast too.

I dunno, I don't get people like him. I've run into them before: no matter what you say, no matter what you're talking about, they have done it and they know more about it than anyone else on the planet.

And if you dare to disagree, you're an idiot worthy of ridicule.

:shake:

I guess that's just how some people function.

not exactly true.

Women want:
Stability, financial security, faithful, loyal, safe, tall, handsome, hung, endurance, funny, gentle, sweet, clever, spontaneous, thoughtful, clever, good hair, forgiving men who don't mind their baby daddy, is kind to their mother and doesn't mind their cat.

Men want:
Fully belly, empty balls.

Find a woman whilst in the midst you being busy with the things you love. Meaning, just work on yourself, find a job you enjoy going to most of the time, go to the gym... dive into yourself and the lady will appear in a magical fashion

Find a nagging or hateful woman, and you won't care how empty your balls are.

kinda true kinda not. I'm a strange case, I know. I divorced my wife after (unwittingly, maybe subconsciously--I'm sure I'll tell the story some other time) almost cheating on my ex-wife... I couldn't have cheated and just gone home... ****, with my ex, I could've ****ed around on her for years without being found with only slight effort... I just couldn't handle being 'that' guy... yes, sexless marriage, but I couldn't just be the guy that goes and gets it where it's easily available (was a grad student, ton of options at the ready)

maybe I'm just that guy... I couldn't do it. not every guy can be the cheating type. sure, I could get sex elsewhere... I could now, even in a happy relationship.. but it wouldn't feel right.

let's go full evolutionary:

women want a strong man who is strong emotionally, mentally and physically (some combination, depending on circumstances--we humans are positive assortative maters--aka we go after those in roughly our class in all the three mentioned areas).

women can overlook personality (heh, like guys can't?) when other parts of the trio are met but may be ready to 'cheat' for a better baby (look up the actual derivation of the term cuckolding--it wasn't invented by republicans, it's a bird behavioral term)...

evolutionarily it's all about resource allocation... the fact that women have one egg a month that drops til menopause... guys have millions per load til old age makes it much fewer... either way, men are fertile for decades, women aren't... with fewer resources, women can be pickier and 'snipe' the younger male to impregnate and make the husband raise the kids...

interesting aside to add... I was (almost) a third generation cheater/adulterer... my grandpa cheated on my grandma at least a few weeks after their wedding, maybe sooner, but def with the maid of honor... and continued to cheat. my dad cheated on his ex-wife (not my mom that I know of).

the interesting part is that the geneticist in me wonders if there's some sort of 'marker' epigenetically that marks people as susceptible to cheating. I never knew my grandpa as a cheater in his younger years til I was 'formed' emotionally, physically and mentally (he died when I was 16) and my dad never displayed the behavior for me to 'mimic' like typical 'passed' behavior like abuse... but nonetheless, I almost joined my family chain... now, will my son (born in late August or so) have the same marker? I'll let you guys know in a few decades I guess.

Keep us posted brah

It sure is....

^I can accomplish all of that on my own.

Maury show disagrees with you

Dave Chappelle said it best...

"Suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so much."

Men don't want a loyal woman? Not just talking about sex either. How about your finances?

What about being a great mother to your children? Not important as well?

and maury is def a representative sample of our population, cancelling out our evolutionary tendencies :spock:

Nah that’d be those gosh darn homosexuals. Men staying with one woman would be cancelling out those factors but overwhelmingly society pushes for a man and a woman to stay with one person. It’s looked down upon when a woman has too man babies as that means her vag is loose even those thavis supposed to mean fertility. It’s frowned upon when men/woman sleep around even tho we are supposed to spread our seed to keep the species alive

Meeting with a divorce lawyer on Thursday. My wife is stupid, so I have that working for me. Plus, I have lined up a few smash pieces. All and all, things are looking up.

https://cordellcordell.com/

I don't know if they are any good, but I love their commercials on the radio.

Heros for men.

Best in the area. Worth it.

Have you used them? I get a Jimmy johns feel looking at their website. "With enough money, you too can own your own Cordell and Cordell branch". I mean they have a 100 offices just in the US. Offices that they review to make sure they are up to Cordell & Cordell standards...

Yeah, I'm not sure I'd trust a company/firm that really doesn't know where their offices are located...

Overland Park? Eh, it's somewhere around Pittsburg, I suppose.....

https://cordellcordell.com/wp-conten...esville-IN.png

GL OP

Get prepared for the next stage in your life

Ok so here is what happened to me.

The wife and I had been mutually pissing each other off and pushing each other off for about a year. It finally reached a head when she filed for divorce in May and hired the biggest shark of a custody attorney. The lady has a reputation for taking fools (men and women she represents) to the cleaners... and we went to a Chiefs game with her (vs. Steelers this year where her and my wife hit it off well). She is a Chiefs fan...a big one...uncommon for SEI. Her and I didn’t hit it off well. There was a moment she got upset with me because she had a booger hanging on her nose and I (thinking I was doing her a favor) told her about it and she got pissed. I told her, “might as well tell you so no one else sees it.” And then she had a friend meet up with her 2nd half and she kept saying snippy things about my wife and my wife wasn’t hearing it...but I was. After the game, I was already upset by the outcome of the game and this attorney and her loud friend and a couple others were loitering outside laughing. Her friend made another snippy comment about my wife being ditzy and it pissed me off and I was like, “Wife, let’s get away from these dumb****s.” And the lawyers bf (great dude) reaches out his hand to shake my hand and I looked at him and was like “**** off.” Overreaction on my part for sure. He didn’t do anything wrong. I explained on the way back how this gal was clowning in her for an hour and she didn’t know. Anyways, this attorney gal remembered that...and didn’t like me. And she was representing my wife...and again, this attorney is a known shark.

Got the decree and she took me to the cleaners...because I work 3rd shift (another reason to hate 3rd shift). I was fighting for split custody, she was fighting for primary physical care and child support...and she was awarded it on the temporary decree. I was only to see my kids every other weekend as long as I’m not working (I work most weekends) and was ordered to pay her $265 a week in child support... and I had a good attorney myself. This 3rd shift thing works against you big time with custody. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I thought my life was over. 5 minutes after reading this, I received a call from my wife and she was crying. I congratulated her for taking me to the cleaners. She informed me that’s why she was crying. She told me she loved me and couldn’t do that to me or the kids and that she’d drop the divorce if I took her to the courthouse on the condition we go to marriage counseling (something I always procrastinated, unfortunately...but not now). I was there in 15 minutes. Divorce is dropped. Lot of money wasted, but it’s dropped. And we’ve never gotten along better. And marriage counseling has us on the right track. I’m really gonna put some left effort in making this work...she could have totally eaten me up alive and refused to when it came down to it.

I am happy.

A lot happened between the time we separated and got back together on both ends, but we are just gonna have to forgive and move on. It is possible.

But yeah that’s why I’ve been incognito for a while.

Ask you brother if he likes the neighbor's come wiped on his pillow?

Damn, bro.

That's heavy. Glad it all worked out.

Thanks man, me too. Taking the right steps.

It was a close one. That was really, really nice of her and it proved that she does love me, IMO.

I hated not seeing her beautiful face. I swear I didn’t go a minute without thinking of that beauty of hers.

Yeah, yeah pics....gladly.

And to think she’s 35...

Pic was taken 30 minutes after we revoked the divorce. She looks happy. :D

You have this “forced asshole, self imposed contrarian” shtick that you do sometimes. You are the one poster who can argue the opposing side of an issue that I feel strongly about and I will walk away thinking, “ugh, why do I think this guy has a point right now.” And you are bright, witty and funny in doing so and it’s irritating. You are the Reggie Miller to me being John Starks. Haha jackass.

Anyways. This is some real life shit with people who are simultaneously dealing with some pain in their lives, me being one of them...and the last poster I want to read witty contrarian input from is your ass. Not here.

I know your type. One of my best friends is just like you. I haven’t talked to him about all this. I’ve been ignoring his calls.