When you get my age any RR works. I just pray the seat tissue liner dispenser is full and the toilet paper is full. I put down the seat ring liner then hover and hope my knees don't give out. Then pray for a non-hanger. If they do at least I have that thin tissue liner as a failsafe. Carefully peel it from my butt cheeks wipe and am out of there.

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I will try to take a poo at some new places next week, guys!

Public restrooms are like public education and public defenders - you might have experienced some great one's but I'm not taking the gamble unless I'm forced to.

I left my house today feeling fine. About two miles down the road I ripped a couple egg salad smelling farts. I knew I wasn’t going to make it so I stopped at a Kwik Star. Great choice of restrooms, they have two stalls instead of the normal one at a gas station for added security of having one available. They also had a single stall family restroom as an insurance policy. Nice, clean, and spacious. They do lose a point for not having automatic flushers on their toilets tho. 9/10 experience, would shit again.

I left my house today feeling fine. About two miles down the road I ripped a couple egg salad smelling farts. I knew I wasn’t going to make it so I stopped at a Kwik Star. Great choice of restrooms, they have two stalls instead of the normal one at a gas station for added security of having one available. They also had a single stall family restroom as an insurance policy. Nice, clean, and spacious. They do lose a point for not having automatic flushers on their toilets tho. 9/10 experience, would shit again.

Soft light makes it look very rapey. 2 stars. Would not shit.

I just blew up my toilet at home. In hindsight, I should have gone to Kohls

Hindsight is always 4/20

Aren’t you a retired plumber?
sec

Yes, but not a janitor

ROFL
Gotcha
And respect for your colon and your cleanup crew.
sec

Bathroom rules I have learned along the way...

1) If going on a long car trip, never eat eggs first thing in the AM...or gas station sushi
2) if going on a long trip pack a roll of TP from home as a safety precaution
3) Know where all the sanitary bathrooms are...Buccee's, Cracker Barrel, Kohls..etc
4) When at work, unless it is at a butt clenching moment, never use the bathroom closest to your office/cubicle.never let the smell follow you out of the bathroom

More as they come to me

Good morning, don't sleep on Von Maur y'all. If you have them in KC metro, I highly encourage their facility! Very 90s timeless deco. Expensive marble and brass type. Quiet, stall doors are like solitary confinement level security. Generally there's either no music or a soft and light lounge jazz on lower volume levels.

What’s the tp dispenser like?
Man, I hate fighting those things just to get 4 or 5 crummy squares out of the bottom to wipe my ass with. Repeat 3 or 4 times. Ruins the whole experience unless the janitor is knowledgeable enough to place a single roll on top of the grunt bar.
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Not to worry, we don't let Bengals fans inside the state of Georgia.

So the key is to shit at a kohls in Georgia? Hm.

No, I just hate the Bengals.

Too late. I've been through Georgia many times.

I took a growler at Barnes n Noble on Saturday and it was heavenly

Interesting, don’t they have a coffee shop adjacent? That’s what I call a reason to take a shit, and if the standards are met, I’m there.
sec

Did you march through?

Once, back in 1864. And let me tell you, it was a long damn march. No shits were taken though.

Coffee, a nice book and the quiet...

What more could a person ask for?

A clean and comfortable shitter.
We’re just putting them back on the shelf anyway.
sec

Clean break?

Men don't look at restrooms and worry they could be raped. Did you lie about your gender or are you transitioning Ms Faulk?

Since I'm new to this thread, someone can at least confirm to me that everytime you read the thread title you hear it in Johnny Cash's voice...

"I shat at Kohl's...today. To see if I...still feel...."

You read it wrong. I was giving advice.

https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-25-2021/q9SREL.gif

Mine and the wife’s 43rd wedding anniversary. We celebrated by coming down to como for my speech rehab this afternoon. Ate lunch and stopped at kohl’s for her to do some shopping and of course I ran in and took a shit. Some old bastard was hogging the handicapped stall, which pissed me off a little, but other than that, it was fine as always.
I gave a thumbs up to the ladies at the service desk as I walked out.
sec

Well now that you mention it....

Anyway, have you shat at Kohls? It's a great place to shit.

I've shat at Kohls a couple of times (two different Kohls actually) and it may be the best department store shat out there.

Impressive. I pooped on the top of Aspen Mountain last week, in the Sundeck restaurant facility. Soft lighting, yes, ambient music being able to hear music playing in the restaurant. Being that it's on the top of an ~11,000 foot mountain, though, the crapper while a conventional flushing style had a vague odor hinting of a mountain outhouse-style toilet, like one of those where you do your thing into a hole in the ground.

Speaking of hole in the ground mountain toilets, I think from now on I'm preemptively plugging my nose with tissue or something before opening the door to those things because I nearly doubled over barfing coming out of the one at the Maroon Bells parking lot last week. Some scumbag left the lid up, filling the room with a blast of piss so strong I nearly screamed in horror going inside. I hurriedly did my business, went out gagging and spitting and nearly puked on the driveway to the parking lot. One of the hole-toilets on the top of Independence Pass doesn't have a lock on the door so it's a pray-and-spray. Worst one I ever encountered was at the North Fork Trail parking lot across from the old South Platte Hotel in Jefferson County, Colorado. It must have been stoners; I really don't know, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why multiple people would pee in every corner of the bathroom instead of inside of the toilet itself. There were even a few dried turds there, too. Maybe they were so stoned, they were afraid of falling into the hole and/or felt the need to lean their backs against the corner of the bathroom for balance?

It's always good, when driving in the Rockies, to bring some TP just in case. I had to use some of my own last year in the outhouse thing at the Ashcroft ghost town site because their TP dispenser was empty, curse their souls. And a lot of these places don't have phone service if you get trapped on the crapper. Ashcroft, Maroon Bells, and Independence Pass are not in cellular network range. YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. PREPARE OR ELSE.


:reaper:

Back in the 70s and 80s, the shitters in many stores like K-Mart were coin-op. You had to put in a dime or crawl under. And let me tell you, buddy, the dime did not improve the quality of the experience at all! Then there were times you'd put in your last dime and there's no damned paper! And no refunds of your dime! Or you'd get those teeny, thin tissue squares that you'd have to fight the dispenser to let go of. I shake in rage just thinking about it!!!11!!

THAT was oppression!

Rumor has it that Travador shat at Tay Tay’s posh east coast digs recently. Hopefully the subject will come up on a future podcast. (After the breakup.) Wonder if that was Trav’s first time using a solid gold bidet… Pretty sure Tay & SR have the same model. Only two were made, and they shop at the same bidet boutique in Milan.

Simply Red, you pooped any fun new places recently? I've been a boring pooper. Mostly just at work and home. I need to pay a visit to Khol's soon.

I’m not a spelling zombie, but…
Was in como for an infusion this morning, but the wife passed on shopping to get back home so she could drop me off and make it to town in time for the grandkids homecoming parade.
So I held my cheeks together and shat at home.
I’m going back next Thursday for speech therapy, so I have that going for me.
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In the unlikely event that I ever write a book (regardless of the subject): I'm stealing this thread title for the name of the book. (Well not stealing really...I'll happily send SR the appropriate residual checks, assuming any money comes of it.)

I'd read that for a dollar!

I can’t wait to watch the “made for tv” movie on the Hallmark Channel!!!

Shit in the woods the other day

You wipe with leaves? I did that once.
Never again.

I shit in the woods once, in Kansas.

No way but it was a messy mess to clean up after getting back to the cabin

Ditto.

It doesn't work. Whoever said it works is a liar.

Nothing exciting like shitting at Kohls, but I recently started making sourdough breads. I had the squirts for about a week. I'm talking about sudden atomic explosions with little to no warnings of impending boom. This morning was my first solid poop since this journey began. I'm guessing their related, but I really don't know. I'm just glad I'm not playing shart roulette anymore. Anyone have a similar experience?

You need to catch a possum or a rabbit and use it.
sec

Recreated the dumb and dumber scene in a Freddy's bathroom today. Barely made it!

Guys I found a nicer place to shit than Kohls.

Buccees!

Buccees has the cleanest bathrooms in the USA....it's what they are known for along with the Wall of Jerky.

The only difference is that you don't hear the calming elevator music that makes a poop in the Kohl's bathroom a smooth and soothing event. :D

You know you can buy organic toilet paper...it disintegrates into the environment.

It's great to take on a camping trip or on a hike.

I've destroyed a Buccees shitter!

I wish I made it to Kohls.....I shat my pants at a convenience store checkout earlier today. Luckily I sensed the fart had some moisture and clamped down as quickly as possible to limit the damage.

Wetness made it to my shorts and the dark blue navy color kept my secret safe.....:spock:

All those $100 lunches can't be good for your bowels.

Someone took too big of a shit at the Kohl’s in Shawnee today:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/s/aFVE7y1C9n

Dammit, I was hoping simply red came back to update us on his Kohl poops. I'm sad.

I have an update. I was the Shawnee Kohls shitting bandit today. I missed. Wide right. Sorry. The gas station salmon was a bad choice.

https://i.ibb.co/RhhR67L/crockyj.jpg

Sure it wasn’t in Belize?

Me too.

i wont poop anywhere that doesnt have a bidet.

Fewer places to shit at Kohl’s:


https://www.foxbusiness.com/retail/k...theyre-located

Just a PSA when you’re looking for a place to drop a load

Tryin to keep the man down man!

Grammar police here. Shat or shitted? Not sure.

You can employ poetic license here if everything else is perfect. The world will assume you drifted off the path there on purpose for emphasis.

Or, simply, "I shit at Kohl's today"? :hmmm:

Shat sounds classier. Can almost hear it in a British accent when reading.

I’m pooping right now TBH

Just shat at the Y. Lost about three pounds.

After shitting at Kohls, shitting anywhere else just isn't the same.

I'm pooping at work! Epic!!!

Pooping at Costco rn!

I was on a rural work trip today. An hour after lunch I felt those really bad cramps that make you hurt all the way down to your ballon knot like you sat on an electric fence. I was an hour from home and as I cruised down the hwy I started looking at the rows of hay bales wondering if I could get there dry…and then would keep going hoping I could get to the next town. I drove fast and furious doing breathing exercises and trying to draw the monster back in the cave….i pass an unkept gas station….fight on soldier….and I accidentally pass the most common gas station in the state….i make it a couple of blocks past the county courthouse and I realize disaster is pending….ill never make it home. U turn….pull into the parking lot and the mental battle begins….can I make it inside. If I make it inside, where is the outhouse most likely to be? Is it a court day and will there be a line? I’ll be destroying a garbage can in public view if there is…..

Fortune favors the bold…as I penguin walk past thr people on the stairs to the basement….there it is in all glory. A family restroom…unoccupied….single stall, lock on the door….and it was clean. It was clean.

I’m looking for a survivors group to work through my PTSD…but this thread will do.

Thnk u for ur sacrifice I was on the edge of my seat

Until a few years ago, I would have merely tipped my hat. But then I had my gall bladder removed and brother, I 100% understand. I swear sometimes I’d win Olympic gold if tightening that puckering string could lift weights.

I’m glad you made it. I’ll hoist a cold one in your honor. Stand tall, my friend. Stand tall.

I can hear Johnny Cash singing

I shat myself today…

I was driving again today and contemplated just how close I was to disaster. The only way I can adequately say it would a jack in the box jumped out when I started to squat….or maybe someone opening the prank can of spring snakes.



No survivors guilt today or any day on this topic.

I think all mankind can relate to this post.
I’ve literately shat in an empty Amazon box at an abandoned building because I misjudged the urgency of the matter in the previous town.
If I come home and the bottom of my white T-Shirt is ripped off my wife says “You had an emergency didn’t you?”

Having my gall bladder removed did it to me...after that it was at least 6 months before I could actually eat and not have to be within 10 minutes of a bathroom.

I had to laugh after my surgery...the attending Nurse told me it would be best to stay away from Mexican or Chinese food for a while....I didn't listen to her and 2 weeks after the surgery my wife and I went to dinner with another couple to a Hibachi Restaurant...we left shortly after finishing our dinner...let's just say the last 5 minutes of the ride required some hard cheek clenching action and a very hilarious run from the car to the bathroom.

I dropped a solid piece at Barnes and Nobles over the weekend.

8/10 - decent lighting - quality paper - roomy stalls.

A little sad that there are fewer and fewer B&N's these days.

Is this the Caliendo re-signed thread?