cause his d!ck tastes like shit?

And so you took that 5000 and bought more powerball tickets didnt you.:shake:

I was in wheat country, and I couldn't pass the aptitude test to get a wheat job.

The aptitude test was:

1. Lift a bale over your head in 95 degree heat and 90 percent humidity in the blazing sun.

2. Do it 500 more times.

Part 2 was the one that tripped me up.

I never win anything but my wife won a new John Deere riding mower and trailer last year.

Globe trotter tickets for Freethrow contest.

Concert tickets on Radio contest. Pull my name from hat.

Movie / dinner tickets on radio contest call in, answer correct R & R trivia.

Monticristo Cigars at car show. Pull my name from hat.

Nothing big.

When I was like 6 or 7, my mother put my name in a raffle at the Jones Store to be the Chiefs "mascot", and I won. So Lloyd Burrus walked me out to midfield for the coin toss, I was scared shitless, those guys were huge, and even at that age I knew that the Raiders were the bad guys. It was Bo Jackson's first game back in KC. Got some good pictures, since a family friend worked for the Chiefs official team photographer.

I also won tickets on the radio to go see Paul Mooney (ask a black guy from Chapelle's Show).

thats all, I need to win some money bad though.

I won my sixth grade spelling bee. I had the entire class behind me. They all hated my opponent, the ogrish Nicole.

The winning word was "rotisserie." Watching those KFC commercials finally paid off.

DMAC
No, I was much smarter than that, I bought a computer and quite my job to freelance!

First pitch
 

Played American Legion Ball when I was a kid, and won an opportunity to throw out the first pitch at a KC Royals game. When I got to the game, I found out that I wasn't the only winner....there were like 10 other Legion ballplayers from around Kansas. We drew numbers to see who got to actually throw the ball, and I lost. I got to walk out to the pitcher's mound...big woop. Did meet Bret Saberhagen that day though.

Troy

Coolest thing ever...

I used to work for a large insurance company here in Omaha...you can guess if you want...anyway, my wife had entered me to win Chiefs tickets. I used to work with the Kansas City group office, so getting a call from KC was not unexpected. It turned out to be some chick from KCFX, telling me that I had won not only Tickets to the Christmas Eve matchup with the Seahawks, but an overnight stay at the Double Tree, a VIP tent party, a Bushnell Sportspack with binoculars, and the best part, I had to participate in a photo thing with one of their on-air personalities. Turned out to be Lenny the Cool.

That was the best weekend evaaar! Cold as hell but worth it.

Luck of the draw stuff, very little. Umbrella at a golf outing, stuff like that.

Ummm....Mutual of Omaha?

What do I win?

Was that the game that was to lock up home field advantage, and Vanover returned the opening kick to the house?

That was a great game. After the kickoff, nobody sat down or stopped yelling for 15 min straight.

I won a contest on 101.1 FOX to win ring side tickets to WWF ppv Over the Edge at Kemper Arena for doing the best "Rock" impersonation. The contest was to see who could do the best pro-wrestler impersonation and I won it. Then Owen Hart fell from the rafters and died only about 20-30 ft away from me. I remember you couldve heard a pin drop in that arena when that happened.

Its Schiff I think. I'm in Medicine Lodge right now. She's actually from Sharon, KS which is 10 miles east from here. Her parents still live here and her dad is a local singer.