Originally Posted by rico (Post 13633482)

Ok so here is what happened to me.

The wife and I had been mutually pissing each other off and pushing each other off for about a year. It finally reached a head when she filed for divorce in May and hired the biggest shark of a custody attorney. The lady has a reputation for taking fools (men and women she represents) to the cleaners... and we went to a Chiefs game with her (vs. Steelers this year where her and my wife hit it off well). She is a Chiefs fan...a big one...uncommon for SEI. Her and I didn’t hit it off well. There was a moment she got upset with me because she had a booger hanging on her nose and I (thinking I was doing her a favor) told her about it and she got pissed. I told her, “might as well tell you so no one else sees it.” And then she had a friend meet up with her 2nd half and she kept saying snippy things about my wife and my wife wasn’t hearing it...but I was. After the game, I was already upset by the outcome of the game and this attorney and her loud friend and a couple others were loitering outside laughing. Her friend made another snippy comment about my wife being ditzy and it pissed me off and I was like, “Wife, let’s get away from these dumb****s.” And the lawyers bf (great dude) reaches out his hand to shake my hand and I looked at him and was like “**** off.” Overreaction on my part for sure. He didn’t do anything wrong. I explained on the way back how this gal was clowning in her for an hour and she didn’t know. Anyways, this attorney gal remembered that...and didn’t like me. And she was representing my wife...and again, this attorney is a known shark.

Got the decree and she took me to the cleaners...because I work 3rd shift (another reason to hate 3rd shift). I was fighting for split custody, she was fighting for primary physical care and child support...and she was awarded it on the temporary decree. I was only to see my kids every other weekend as long as I’m not working (I work most weekends) and was ordered to pay her $265 a week in child support... and I had a good attorney myself. This 3rd shift thing works against you big time with custody. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I thought my life was over. 5 minutes after reading this, I received a call from my wife and she was crying. I congratulated her for taking me to the cleaners. She informed me that’s why she was crying. She told me she loved me and couldn’t do that to me or the kids and that she’d drop the divorce if I took her to the courthouse on the condition we go to marriage counseling (something I always procrastinated, unfortunately...but not now). I was there in 15 minutes. Divorce is dropped. Lot of money wasted, but it’s dropped. And we’ve never gotten along better. And marriage counseling has us on the right track. I’m really gonna put some left effort in making this work...she could have totally eaten me up alive and refused to when it came down to it.

I am happy.

A lot happened between the time we separated and got back together on both ends, but we are just gonna have to forgive and move on. It is possible.

But yeah that’s why I’ve been incognito for a while.

Originally Posted by Al Bundy (Post 13633500)

That's good to hear, my ex and I had no kids when we divorced and very little assets. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and wanted her out of it before I did it so she couldn't **** with it.

Originally Posted by baitism (Post 13633069)

Meeting with a divorce lawyer on Thursday. My wife is stupid, so I have that working for me. Plus, I have lined up a few smash pieces. All and all, things are looking up.

Originally Posted by Chazno (Post 13633407)

Have you used them? I get a Jimmy johns feel looking at their website. "With enough money, you too can own your own Cordell and Cordell branch". I mean they have a 100 offices just in the US. Offices that they review to make sure they are up to Cordell & Cordell standards...

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13633496)

Thanks man, me too. Taking the right steps.

It was a close one. That was really, really nice of her and it proved that she does love me, IMO.

I hated not seeing her beautiful face. I swear I didn’t go a minute without thinking of that beauty of hers.

Yeah, yeah pics....gladly.

And to think she’s 35...

Pic was taken 30 minutes after we revoked the divorce. She looks happy. :D

Originally Posted by BryanBusby (Post 13627934)

If you haven't mentioned you found out she's cheating, or the Divorce word than right now you're in good shape. If not, you need to literally drop everything you're doing right this very second and do this next step.

Get to whatever places you bank at jointly and set up new accounts ASAP and dump all of your liquid funds into them. Some of it hers too? Well, feel free to charge a processing fee and take that shit too. Do that before she does it to you, because she absolutely will.

Anything else that she could somehow access that you don't want her to access? Get her the **** off that shit right ****ing now.

Once you're done with that, you need to secure your own dwelling and do it fast. House, trailer, sad bachelors studio apartment, whatever the **** it is do it. This is also a time you can start working on the lawyer front.

Whenever she's out to work or out ****ing her new man, that's when you roll up the moving truck to quickly pack your shit up and get the **** out.

Get your shit first, debate what shit is hers and what is yours after the fact. After that is complete, that's when you start dropping the truth bombs on her ass.

I'd want to complete everything from start to finish in 48 hours and would "treat her to a weekend out" to help avoid having that interference. If you can't get a place to put all your stuff so quickly, put it in a storage locker for now.

The main key here is to remove all your assets before she can even realize what the **** is going on, as until you officially do that she can take whatever of yours she feels like helping herself to. I watched a friend go through the proceedings and he followed all these steps and it was the most jedi mind trick shit I've seen.

Originally Posted by baitism (Post 13633069)

Meeting with a divorce lawyer on Thursday..

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 13634000)

Stop posting on this site and any other social media sites. If you can't do that then stop posting any details or comments related to your personal situation or anything else that could be used against you.

Originally Posted by stumppy (Post 13633868)

If you don't do what Bryan Busby posted you will regret it.

Do you know what divorce is? IT'S ****ING WAR!

Go into it to win.

Originally Posted by vailpass (Post 13634000)

Stop posting on this site and any other social media sites. If you can't do that then stop posting any details or comments related to your personal situation or anything else that could be used against you.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13633482)

Ok so here is what happened to me.

The wife and I had been mutually pissing each other off and pushing each other off for about a year. It finally reached a head when she filed for divorce in May and hired the biggest shark of a custody attorney. The lady has a reputation for taking fools (men and women she represents) to the cleaners... and we went to a Chiefs game with her (vs. Steelers this year where her and my wife hit it off well). She is a Chiefs fan...a big one...uncommon for SEI. Her and I didn’t hit it off well. There was a moment she got upset with me because she had a booger hanging on her nose and I (thinking I was doing her a favor) told her about it and she got pissed. I told her, “might as well tell you so no one else sees it.” And then she had a friend meet up with her 2nd half and she kept saying snippy things about my wife and my wife wasn’t hearing it...but I was. After the game, I was already upset by the outcome of the game and this attorney and her loud friend and a couple others were loitering outside laughing. Her friend made another snippy comment about my wife being ditzy and it pissed me off and I was like, “Wife, let’s get away from these dumb****s.” And the lawyers bf (great dude) reaches out his hand to shake my hand and I looked at him and was like “**** off.” Overreaction on my part for sure. He didn’t do anything wrong. I explained on the way back how this gal was clowning in her for an hour and she didn’t know. Anyways, this attorney gal remembered that...and didn’t like me. And she was representing my wife...and again, this attorney is a known shark.

Got the decree and she took me to the cleaners...because I work 3rd shift (another reason to hate 3rd shift). I was fighting for split custody, she was fighting for primary physical care and child support...and she was awarded it on the temporary decree. I was only to see my kids every other weekend as long as I’m not working (I work most weekends) and was ordered to pay her $265 a week in child support... and I had a good attorney myself. This 3rd shift thing works against you big time with custody. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I thought my life was over. 5 minutes after reading this, I received a call from my wife and she was crying. I congratulated her for taking me to the cleaners. She informed me that’s why she was crying. She told me she loved me and couldn’t do that to me or the kids and that she’d drop the divorce if I took her to the courthouse on the condition we go to marriage counseling (something I always procrastinated, unfortunately...but not now). I was there in 15 minutes. Divorce is dropped. Lot of money wasted, but it’s dropped. And we’ve never gotten along better. And marriage counseling has us on the right track. I’m really gonna put some left effort in making this work...she could have totally eaten me up alive and refused to when it came down to it.

I am happy.

A lot happened between the time we separated and got back together on both ends, but we are just gonna have to forgive and move on. It is possible.

But yeah that’s why I’ve been incognito for a while.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13633482)

Ok so here is what happened to me.

The wife and I had been mutually pissing each other off and pushing each other off for about a year. It finally reached a head when she filed for divorce in May and hired the biggest shark of a custody attorney. The lady has a reputation for taking fools (men and women she represents) to the cleaners... and we went to a Chiefs game with her (vs. Steelers this year where her and my wife hit it off well). She is a Chiefs fan...a big one...uncommon for SEI. Her and I didn’t hit it off well. There was a moment she got upset with me because she had a booger hanging on her nose and I (thinking I was doing her a favor) told her about it and she got pissed. I told her, “might as well tell you so no one else sees it.” And then she had a friend meet up with her 2nd half and she kept saying snippy things about my wife and my wife wasn’t hearing it...but I was. After the game, I was already upset by the outcome of the game and this attorney and her loud friend and a couple others were loitering outside laughing. Her friend made another snippy comment about my wife being ditzy and it pissed me off and I was like, “Wife, let’s get away from these dumb****s.” And the lawyers bf (great dude) reaches out his hand to shake my hand and I looked at him and was like “**** off.” Overreaction on my part for sure. He didn’t do anything wrong. I explained on the way back how this gal was clowning in her for an hour and she didn’t know. Anyways, this attorney gal remembered that...and didn’t like me. And she was representing my wife...and again, this attorney is a known shark.

Got the decree and she took me to the cleaners...because I work 3rd shift (another reason to hate 3rd shift). I was fighting for split custody, she was fighting for primary physical care and child support...and she was awarded it on the temporary decree. I was only to see my kids every other weekend as long as I’m not working (I work most weekends) and was ordered to pay her $265 a week in child support... and I had a good attorney myself. This 3rd shift thing works against you big time with custody. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

I thought my life was over. 5 minutes after reading this, I received a call from my wife and she was crying. I congratulated her for taking me to the cleaners. She informed me that’s why she was crying. She told me she loved me and couldn’t do that to me or the kids and that she’d drop the divorce if I took her to the courthouse on the condition we go to marriage counseling (something I always procrastinated, unfortunately...but not now). I was there in 15 minutes. Divorce is dropped. Lot of money wasted, but it’s dropped. And we’ve never gotten along better. And marriage counseling has us on the right track. I’m really gonna put some left effort in making this work...she could have totally eaten me up alive and refused to when it came down to it.

I am happy.

A lot happened between the time we separated and got back together on both ends, but we are just gonna have to forgive and move on. It is possible.

But yeah that’s why I’ve been incognito for a while.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13633498)

You have this “forced asshole, self imposed contrarian” shtick that you do sometimes. You are the one poster who can argue the opposing side of an issue that I feel strongly about and I will walk away thinking, “ugh, why do I think this guy has a point right now.” And you are bright, witty and funny in doing so and it’s irritating. You are the Reggie Miller to me being John Starks. Haha jackass.

Anyways. This is some real life shit with people who are simultaneously dealing with some pain in their lives, me being one of them...and the last poster I want to read witty contrarian input from is your ass. Not here.

I know your type. One of my best friends is just like you. I haven’t talked to him about all this. I’ve been ignoring his calls.

Originally Posted by mac459 (Post 13634108)

I know I haven’t reached out to you during all this..had shit of my own going on..had seen how things were going on the Facebook and I’m happy you two worked it out..if you ever need anything send me a message

Originally Posted by -King- (Post 13634151)

I wasn't trying to be witty or a contrarian when I said getting involved in the other guys relationship with his wife was a bad idea at the moment.
Posted via Mobile Device

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 13628176)

It happens!

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 13634462)

This thread is depressing. I know for most happier days are ahead or are here now, but lots of anger. Glad I never had to experience that. Sorry you guys had to.

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 13634562)

Sorry to hear about the tough times, rico. Glad you got things worked out.

Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 13634584)

Rico, if you work night shift, do you and your wife really see each other much?

Originally Posted by KCUnited (Post 13634603)

Can’t imagine trying to work out divorce level problems with someone who’s already been shown how easily they could destroy me whenever they feel like it. Best of luck, rico. I’d get your booty eating game on point if you already haven’t.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634610)

Oh, it’s on point. Woke up with booty in my face just yesterday. I love how she does that stuff.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634610)

Oh, it’s on point. Woke up with booty in my face just yesterday. I love how she does that stuff.

Originally Posted by KCUnited (Post 13634618)

Like right after she’s showered right, or are you a natural scent kind of guy? Either way, hell yeah.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13634674)

Me thinks you are sharing a little too much information, considering you've just got things back on track.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634681)

She doesn’t care about me talking about that. She jokes around about it all the time...in front of people.

Does anyone else’s wife do this?

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13634688)

...that's not an excuse for you though, lead the way.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634689)

I’ll be alright as long as I’m not calling out an attorney for having a booger on their nose at a Chiefs game!!!

Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 13634584)

Rico, if you work night shift, do you and your wife really see each other much?

Originally Posted by baitism (Post 13633069)

Meeting with a divorce lawyer on Thursday. My wife is stupid, so I have that working for me. Plus, I have lined up a few smash pieces. All and all, things are looking up.

Originally Posted by BWillie (Post 13634716)

I think I would function very well with a Long Distance Marriage. That would be awesome. Don't ever have to see her, get all of the benefits. How does one sign up for such a thing?

Not seeing each other day and night, 8 hrs a day, IMO is the key to a successful marriage. It's important to have hobbies and interests of your own, and then have couple hobbies as well that you do as a couple. But all day, everyday, that is exasperating.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13634690)

Some things should be sacred.

JMO.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634783)

What are some things that should be sacred? Not being facetious...just wanting to hear your take on it.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13634797)

Your personal relationship, including all problems, past and present. (especially with parents and in laws). better to keep those issues in house...it's extremely personal information, and can lead to a feeling of betrayal.

Your sex life..while it's easy to boast or brag about it, in the end cheapens what is actually pretty amazing and special...being with your wife. Having that all to yourself is cool. Don't get too many of those in life.

Originally Posted by BWillie (Post 13634716)

I think I would function very well with a Long Distance Marriage. That would be awesome. Don't ever have to see her, get all of the benefits. How does one sign up for such a thing.

Originally Posted by SuperBowl4 (Post 13634826)

This thread should have been named - Marriage - well yes is sucks!

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634822)

Her and I were pretty cold and distant to each other for a month or so, but then the last two weeks she started dolling up and batting her eyes at me and looking at me in a way that I haven’t seen from her since we were 18 and began dating the first time. I knew then, yeah...we aren’t gonna go through with it. She loves me now and is feeling those same butterflies she felt when we first met at a wrestling meet when we were Seniors and she was all flirty and batty-eyed. It’s been like that since. I swear, the 6 week absence did make us grow fonder.

If I were to think of a happy thought that put me in a happy place, I’d think of how she has looked at me like I’m the hero of her world the past couple weeks...the same way she looked at me the first couple years. I am so happy to have gotten that back for now.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634822)

Her and I were pretty cold and distant to each other for a month or so, but then the last two weeks she started dolling up and batting her eyes at me and looking at me in a way that I haven’t seen from her since we were 18 and began dating the first time. I knew then, yeah...we aren’t gonna go through with it. She loves me now and is feeling those same butterflies she felt when we first met at a wrestling meet when we were Seniors and she was all flirty and batty-eyed. It’s been like that since. I swear, the 6 week absence did make us grow fonder.

If I were to think of a happy thought that put me in a happy place, I’d think of how she has looked at me like I’m the hero of her world the past couple weeks...the same way she looked at me the first couple years. I am so happy to have gotten that back for now.

Originally Posted by kjwood75nro (Post 13634879)

Do you know why she looks at you like you're cool, or are you just accepting it and enjoying it temporarily, hoping it'll last but deep-down expecting it won't?

Clearly, there was something cool about you that attracted her in the first place, that caused her to fall in love with you first.

But what does she have? Does she have any "game" other than showing her pussy and asshole in the morning? If not, then she's the one with little value, not you.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13634690)

Some things should be sacred.

JMO.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634884)

This is a thought provoking post.

I see what you mean and it’s not a bad point because I made it come off that way. It’s not like our relationship was/is solely based on her waking me up with her butt in my face. There is more to it. And she didn’t totally lose the glow from the first couple years, it’s just back then she idolized me because I was the local powerhouse wrestling team’s captain and she was a cheerleader for a rival school and she thought I was hot and funny. She’s always thought I was/am funny. It’s like when we met, a lot of these cheerleaders had crushes on me and the look I described I guess could be considered a flirty expression...I know the expression. I hadn’t seen that flirty expression in years. When you get to know someone and date them long enough, you start not really seeing the need to flirt. You get passed that stage. You get comfortable and used to it. And her flirty face came back. It was nostalgic and nice to see. I felt 18 again.

The way I look at it, we both have our qualities, both have areas we need to work on, both have areas where we are mutually awesome together and both have areas where we can be toxic together. I don’t think there is a good/bad guy or a good/bad gal in our situation. She’s very funny, selfless, caring, nice, etc. I won’t get into the things I think she needs to improve. I will save that for counseling. I make her laugh to this day, I’ve been working out, I provide, I take care of the bills, I care for her beyond words, I’m loyal and literally only have eyes for her...don’t even watch porn, I am generally nice. However, I upset her when I get distracted with things not related to the family. 3rd shift can also make me short and cranky...I hate it. I can be argumentative when it’s not necessary. I get jealous. There are things I can work on. Together we excel at raising our kids, having fun, being fun to be around, telling each other constantly that we love each other, conversation in general...we are best friends. However, the toxicity from us as a duo shows its face at times...we shouldn’t drink together. We spend too much time on our phones at times. We have a difficult time letting go of the past. We argue. We make assumptions. Things took a nasty turn when we both began taking each other for granted... that’s when I think things imploded.

I am optimistic that we can fix all of this. I reallllly wanna get off 3rd shift. We’ve been doing good lately. Been working out together, fishing, camping, etc. Need to keep the positive momentum going.

Originally Posted by ChiefsHawk (Post 13634902)

You carry your wife's purse everywhere you two go don't you..:D

Originally Posted by ChiefsHawk (Post 13634912)

Not saying it's the only issue but it sounds like a lot of your problems/issues come from your work/shift. If possible I think i'd consider changes if possible

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634979)

Oh my goodness you are on to something there. It is the single most detrimental thing to our relationship right now, IMO. I never get sleep. I hate the hours. I get grouchy and short with people (and I'm a nice guy) and worst of all, her and I are social people...I can't freaking stand it when she goes out to do something while I am at work. That is when my wheels turn and I get pissy as hell...always imagining the worst case scenario, when its never the case. It drives me nuts and it affects my job performance. I should get on 1st shift in one more year. One more year of this 3rd shift bullshit.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634979)

Oh my goodness you are on to something there. It is the single most detrimental thing to our relationship right now, IMO. I never get sleep. I hate the hours. I get grouchy and short with people (and I'm a nice guy) and worst of all, her and I are social people...I can't freaking stand it when she goes out to do something while I am at work. That is when my wheels turn and I get pissy as hell...always imagining the worst case scenario, when its never the case. It drives me nuts and it affects my job performance. I should get on 1st shift in one more year. One more year of this 3rd shift bullshit.

Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 13634986)

Is the pay difference for 3rd shift significant?

I’d be changing regardless. Seems to make you and her unhappy.

Originally Posted by raybec 4 (Post 13634992)

Going to first shift is fine, but it won't fix your trust issues.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13634999)

It does make her and I both unhappy. Problem is, I have to wait for someone to retire to get on. I’m like 2nd in line now.

The shift differential is like .75... totally worth switching.

Another problem...my dad is the foreman of day shift. This is a plant that is high paying and hires a bunch of badass, efficient workers...tons of employees. And my dad is an assertive enough guy to be The foreman of first shift. A total hardass. Intimidating. He knows what I’ve gone through with 3rd though and he said he’d get me on, regardless if people bitch about nepotism.

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 13635014)

Just Tonya Harding someone into disability.
Posted via Mobile Device

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635002)

I guarantee you it will. Because I won’t be working at night anymore. It’s different having this situation on 3rd shift, trust me. I have thought about this ALOT.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13635026)

eh, worried about her when she goes out is based on fear....are you afraid she;s going to cheat, or is it you think she'll find someone better?

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635031)

I have my reasons.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635031)

I have my reasons.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13635034)

Nothing wrong with a little bit of jealousy, but if jumps over to paranoid, and you act on that, you're gonna piss her off.

Originally Posted by raybec 4 (Post 13635035)

That was my point, being together all the time in the evening will fix the symptom. It won't fix the underlying issue of you not feeling like she can be out without you.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635036)

It’s something I don’t want to get into on here.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635036)

Dude...it just doesn’t work out. It’s something I don’t want to get into on here. I really do have my reasons to not like it.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635039)

It’s not that at all.

Just trust me on this one.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635031)

I have my reasons.

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 13635051)

Fill us in, brother.

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch (Post 13635056)

Why are you being cryptic? It's a message board dude

Originally Posted by lewdog (Post 13635077)

She’s a sex addict?

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13635041)

....good for you.

...you've got to trust her, or it's doomed.

...sad to say.

...she'll take it as insecurity.

Women DO NOT like insecure men.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635079)

at 4a knowing that my wife is still out.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635085)

You say some stuff that really makes me think sometimes.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13635089)

You need to reign that shit in.

Not cool.

Originally Posted by stevieray (Post 13635094)

Knowledge is knowing how to change a flat tire, wisdom is doing it.

Trust me, I learned a lot of this the HARD way.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635096)

Yeah it’s not cool. And she’s the type of person who once she has one beer in her system, she wants to go til 6. I’m the same way, but work all the time. But yeah, it’s not cool. And I deal with it all the time.

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 13635099)

So, since you go to counseling and all, she knows that this bothers you and she knows why it bothers you, correct?
Posted via Mobile Device

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch (Post 13635102)

She looks like a fun girl to wake up to with her butt in your face

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 13634825)

I moved to Florida for a year before my wife and son moved down here. It sucked.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635079)

She takes advantage of my hours to party with her friends and it pisses me off. Like, I shouldn’t be doing a sample at 4a knowing that my wife is still out.

That enough?

Originally Posted by rico (Post 13635096)

Yeah it’s not cool. And she’s the type of person who once she has one beer in her system, she wants to go til 6. I’m the same way, but work all the time. But yeah, it’s not cool. And I deal with it all the time.