blueballs to sex
is what barack obama is to democrats
a train derailment waiting for a crowd to watch

Lost it when I was 16. To a girl that was freakin obsessed with me. Ended up dating her for awhile too because she did whatever I wanted and was okay with it haha

Too bad Claythan wont be responding to this thread hahahaha.

your mother is like bo
liberal
popular
and for sale

My first time occurred during a family picnic. I got hammered and had to go to the port a potty. My mom starts knocking on the door outside and said, "Jerry, are you ok?"

When I didn't answer, she opened the door, saw my pants down and said, "Hey, big boy, do you need any help?"

Anyway, one thing led to another and I got to know my mom in a way I never imagined. Jesus forgave me, though.

You bastard!

WTF :Lin:

I was 16 and I did it in the bed of a Chevy s-10 truck with a porker co-worker. It didn't last long after I found the hole.

Fixed it for ya :thumb:

ROFL:shake:

tags could have made this thread great

Its a joke. Jerry Falwell famously sued Larry Flynt (founder of Hustler) for publishing a liquor ad about "Jerry Falwell's first time" which included him getting drunk, and doing it in an outhouse with his mother.

The libel case went to the supreme court, and found in Flynt's favor. (U night have seen the movie, People vs. Larry Flynt).

Does it count as your first if you were drunk as f**k and can't hardly remember it much? I was 17. I was at a party, got wasted, and decided to wonder downtown to the arcade. Seeing the shape I was in she decided to take advantage of me. I'd rate her as a 8 1/2. She is still pretty hot to this day. I can remember her telling me I had to pull out because I didn't have a rubber. Seemed like it lasted a few minutes, but she said she didn't think I was ever going to cum. I dunno, I count the 2nd time I had sex as my 1st. I was sober and it was with my future ex wife.

Holy shit

We were both 14 and had been dating for 6 months... We had done everything else and figured we might as well give it a shot.
It was amazing and it lasted about 5 seconds. That was the first time that I had ever ejaculated... I had sex before I ever masturbated. Strange?

We were the first couple in our grade to have sex -- I was a pimp to the boys and she was labeled a slut by the girls... Isn't high school great? :rollseyes:

To this day, we are great friends.

Holy shit almost my story to a tee only she was a 7 and I was 16 and it was all good until I had to go to the clinic and stick a focking long metal swab into the head of my d!ck and then she was a #$%@#$% bitch