How many of those do you get married though? Steak and a BJ should be put into the vows

We're both working towards common goals. At this time though....we both want to pay off our own personal bills.

Smart

Nothing wrong with that. Your not weird or stupid for that choice. Just a different way to start out your lifes than we would have chose. Who's to say what is the better choice?

One of the best parts of my life was the time I shared starting out with my wife, struggling finacially together, getting my azz educated, trying to build a foundation for our family. Those early times when we were building our lifes together towards the same goals.....man, you can't buy that experience at any price. You just have to pay in sweat equity and struggle. Because its two people as one, it creates a bond that I hope everyone gets to experience at least once in their life.

life insurance and then baby oil the bathtub.

Screw the haters. I've got a pretty damn good thing at home and we keep separate accounts. It doesn't have anything to do with his or her money, but it sure makes keeping track of debits and w/draws for cash easier. I don't have to wonder where "we" are when I know where "My" account is.....She does the home bills, I do the business, if she gets short, she can transfer money with 10 button clicks and let me know later...Buying her a new car, Maybe I write the down payment check and she makes the payment on "her" car.

The key to keeping your home happy is figuring out what works for you and for her. You want to know the secret? It's simple...Both of you be loyal, be honest, treat each other with respect, give on the small things so you've got leverage when you do care. Don't fight over stupid things that aren't worth the time. You're going to disagree, you're going to fight....Keep it clean, keep the blows above the belt and within reason even when you're mad....Apologize when you F up and forgive when she does.

It's not hard to have a successful, happy life together when you pick the right person and treat them the way you should.


If you don't agree with the above, kick her ass the first day so she knows you're like a boss.

Like BRC said.....to each their own.

Everyone does it their own way. As long as both of you are happy and can agree on what you're doing.....then you're fine.

Congrats...and condolences.

...but mostly congrats!

See this is what I thought, I seriously don't see this being possible for her and I.

Don't do it!

Man that is dang good stuff. Once she gets out of school and working she will make a considerable amount more than I do. I am in a family business and it can be good financially at times, but long hours and strenous the other part of the time. Once we decide (Or God decides lol) we are going to have kids, we will live off my income only.

The advice he gave you is based on his values, they don't have to be yours. Don't let anyone tell you what works for you, try what you think is best and adjust from there.
Wives and kids do not come with an instruction manual. Every day you just have to do what you decide is best and make changes as you see fit. Being married comes with a lot of responsibility but one benefit is that nobody can ever tell you how to run your show.
Best of luck.
Remember how you feel about her right now, put that memory away and haul it out again when you are having serious trouble. If it makes you give in enough to fix the trouble then you have a good thing going.

Lots of good stuff in this thread, but this hits the nail on the head. The other thing is a philosophical change in your mind that you and your wife are a unit not individuals any longer. Everything else is secondary, but here's my thoughts.

Money
A very large percentage of divorces end because of money. Set goals and have a plan to get there. Talk about any material item (large purchases) at significant length, particularly in the beginning to determine how the purchases fit into your goals. Talk about everything concerning money and come to a consensus. Even little shit like whether or not you want generic cheese or not. It makes a difference. It's important to come to a consensus on your thinking with money early so if and when times get tight, you aren't starting from square one.

Communication
Critical. Absolutely critical. You don't always have to agree on everything, but you need to be comfortable with the outcome. Don't hide anything from her. It will just drive your relationship apart. Don't keep things inside. It won't do any good.

Time
Commit time to breaking the every day grind. Go on walks, have date nights, whatever, just find time to spend with her. It will help. Wife and I got a dog and though it is my busy (as ****) season, we still spend time together taking care of the dog. you have to allow yourselves time to talk about what's going on.

Inlaws
You're going to be stuck with them. Make sure it isn't a dealbreaker. Very few people are absolutely happy with their inlaws, but they have to be livable.

The Wedding
Make it as simple as possible, particularly on the night before and day of wedding. Women absolutely freak the **** out about this shit, so the simpler it is, the fewer things they (and their friends and family) have to freak out about.

The last thing I would suggest is having a reasonably long engagement. Candidly, you're moving kind of quickly. Everything I've ever read says that the "newness" of the relationship lasts about a year (typically of course) and after a year, the parties in the relationship get comfortable with each other and then it is hashed out whether or not you are compatible. You make your own decision, but it is prudent to at least consider that information.

Oh. And congratulations. Make it work, bud.

Good luck, man.