THE MINNESOTA TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART
>
>60 Above
>
>New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat
>
>People in Minn. plant gardens
>
>50 Above
>
>Californians shiver uncontrollably
>
>People in Minn. sunbathe
>
>40 Above
>
>Italian and English cars won't start
>
>People in Minn. drive with the windows down
>
>32 Above
>
>Distilled water freezes
>
>Lake Mille Lacs water gets thicker
>
>20 Above
>
>Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats
>
>People in Minn. throw on a flannel shirt
>
>15 Above
>
>Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat
>
>People in Minn. have the last cookout before it gets too cold
>
>Zero
>
>People in Miami all die
>
>Minnesotans lick the flagpole
>
>20 Below
>
>Iowans fly away to Mexico
>
>People in MN get out their winter coats
>
>40 Below
>
>Hollywood disintegrates
>
>The Girl Scouts in MN are selling cookies door to door
>

>60 Below
>
>Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic
>
>MN Boy Scouts postpone "winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
>enough
>
>80 Below
>
>Mt. St. Helen's freezes
>
>People in MN rent some videos
>
>100 Below
>
>Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
>
>Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg
>
>297 Below
>
>Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products
>
>Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands
>
>460 Below
>
>All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale)
>
>People in MN start saying "cold nuff for ya?"
>
>500 Below
>
>Hell freezes over
>
>The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl .