How likely is it that you could get to Mexico before they catch you? Do the highways have license plate scanners that checks for cars owned by fugitives? Would you be better off walking over to the bus station and getting a bus ticket to someplace like El Paso and walking over?

Having children complicates things here

In the past year, I coincidentally have been in rural area on both the Canadian border and the Mexican border. On the Canadian border in rural Minnesota you could just buy a canoe and cross the river, and it's pretty much 100 percent that you could cross without incident. Of course, getting a job and housing after that would be a challenge.

On the Mexican border in Arizona, there was a notable Border Patrol presence, and where I was, there was a wall of some indeterminate but relatively tall height. I don't know if the Border Patrol would stop someone going south, but if not, a person could get into Mexico. In that area, you'd then want a lot of water because it would be a hike to get to something other than cactus. After that, I don't know how easy it would be to get a job and housing without documentation.

I don't think I'd try crossing at a formal checkpoint. Maybe they'd wave you through if you looked American (sorry, Hispanic guys), but maybe they'd want a passport or something and you'd be either screwed over or turned away.

I'm still on the Madagascar and Cambodia train. I think I could realistically live in those countries. Nepal as well. Nepal is nice.

I have a friend who lived in Tunisia for a while and liked it, but I don't think I would ever feel at home in a Muslim country. I think Tunisia is pretty laid back, but it only takes one nutjob extremist with a sword to find yourself beheaded.

Would it be like federal pound me in the ass prison? Or something more like Camp Cupcake?

You're going to have to pick a gang to affiliate with.