Iowanian is awefully busy answering numerous world issues at any given time. Iowanian is allowed a mistake and in this case, the names were superimposed.


Why don't you ask Iowanian Whats wrong with the raiders and talking crap with a 4-12 record?

Dear Dr. Iowanian, I am having recurring nightmares where I dream I am as dumb as ®®. I just go from one message board to another pissing people off. What could be causing this?

I think there is a way around this without any drastic life changes. 2hrs away is still far enough to hide,unless he's been to your residence. This may be a good opportunity, before he has moved, to "tell" him that you've decided to accept that position with the Merchant Marines and will be moving to Salem.

You get to stay, and he thinks you're gone.

Logical.
As to your inquiry, I make it a practice to never attend a function without formal invitation. Its just rude, and in this case, wrong...because as it turns out, Ahm Not Ghey.

Skip.
This is easily solved. Take comfort in the fact, that if you don't eat urinal cakes at Public Restrooms, its impossible for you to be a raider fan. My advice to make sure you sleep more soundly, and avoid unpleasant dreams, is to request that your special lady friend make sure and remove any excess Poison your body may have accumulated.

Its prescribed by your doctor.

Dr. Iowanian,

Landers and Phil couldn't help, so here I am. How do you get a dame out of the way? So many things going on and someone always happens to get in the way....any ideas on how to solve this?

---Frustrated in Florida

Miiiight-ay Wiiiiiiing maa ha haaan.
 

Here's to you, Mighty Wingman. You Take one for the team, so your bud-day can live the dream....Wiiing [ballpinch]mmaaHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAANN![/bp]

Slayer, I assume by what you're saying, is that you've finally cornered a girl who will let you within arm reach. Your problem is that her friend won't leave you alone with her, so you can work your Cool. Slayer. Fonzy moves on her?

You have finally reached an age where those childhood relationships that have grown, shall bear their fruit. Its time for your buddy to step up, and do what we men refer to as "taking out the cockblocker".

Your buddy/brother has to play fullback....and take out that obstacle.

PS...Have someone teach you how to put a condom on a banana....You may need that info in a couple of years.

Dr. Iowanian,

I think my mother and grandmother have a case of :fart: and it seems to have gone on for quite sometime. I've mentioned Beano and GasX but keep getting the same response...."I don't smell anything OR must be the dog again". I'm sorry but woman or girls farting total makes me want to :Lin:.

The worst is they both just sit there and act like nothing happened. :mad:

It's like they enjoy it...:Lin:

Do I just avoid the old family get togethers or tell them how I really feel?

Thanks

Munkey

Monkey....
It has been my experience that you are facing a common problem. Its an affliction that infects the majority of the female population. They often get it(like the carry on bag with a luggage purchase) the first time their aunt flow visits.....Female Flatualation denial syndrome.(FDS. You've seen the commercial)

Its a known fact though, that when no one else is in the car with them, women roll up the windows AND turn up the heat and flatulate to the point of irresponsible showing off. Its like when they get together to play cards, or have a "tupperware party"....They always take their shirts off and touch chests....Its like the Broads Secret handshake.

The only option I can offer is that its acceptable for you to let yourself go. No holding back in their company. You can fight the effects of female air pollution with scented candles(why do you think they have them), fragrant dried plants/flowers, and an air purification system.

Phony gonfrequilizer impression, 1 time boi.

Dr. I,

Did the groundhog see his shadow yesterday? Are we in for more winter? Iowa winters suck and if that little freaker said there's going to be 6 more weeks of this crap, I'm going to hunt him down and mount his head over the fireplace.

Irate in Iowa

Unfortunately, the fat Ground Oppossum indeed saw his shadow. Being that overweight, how could he not, I saw the shadow in Iowania, and at first thought it was cloudcover, or a partial eclipse.

Expect winter to last at least another 6 weeks, with no spring weather, until after I return from my trip to the Caribean. During that time, ending in early March, I expect temperatures in this region to be near zero.

If you do happen to get Puxatony Phill, on the Talis-grill....I would recommend you follow the cooking instructions used on the Bandits of the forest, the raccoon. Drain the fat 3 times and it will be acceptable and palatable, and will meet your Atkins requirements.

Oh, the groundhog Phil. All that huge shadow talk had me thinking about another Phil I know...

Iowanian Asks the readers.

Readers with extensive knowledge of dogs and those with strong opinion needed.

What is YOUR opinion/input on the need/value of neutering of a male dog? 9month old Yellow Lab male.....Pet/bird dog

Does it make them a "better/worse" dog(pet/hunting)

Trying to decide If Truman will be Singing Barry White or Vince Gill.

not too sure about males, but i have all my female labs neutered. my cousin in columbia is a vet, and does all the work on my labs, and just neutered my lab pup saturday.

ill give her a call and ask her opinion.
sec

Oddly enough, Punxatawny isn't too far from where I'm at....They throw a HUGE bash every year for it, but I personally, have never gone.