Get outta here with that. Married women with kids have no business partying until the sun comes up like some kind of bar floozie.

Well neither do married guys, for that matter.
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Why though? Life supposed to stop once you get married?

You obv missed the rider "with kids"

Rico doesn't seem to be worried about it so I'm assuming the kids are old enough to watch themselves or they've got someone watching them.

and there's a big part of the problem with society today
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I find it hilarious that people are quick to claim the pussification of America then turn around and act like kids can't spend a night at granny's/a friend's house or watch themselves at a certain age.

Prob because there's zero reason to compare children to adults

From what was said, this doesn't sound like "a night."

Take responsibility for your kids. Parenthood is not a fun little game to play only when convenient.

We really don't have enough information and I doubt we'd get it all from hearing one side of the story anyway.. but, unless I missed a post or two, Rico hasn't mentioned a damn thing about her being a bad mother or skipping out on her parental duties. He's solely upset that she's out partying while he's not able to, at the same time admitting that he also loves to be out late partying.

I'm only speaking to those who said he needs to reign that shit in and that a married woman has no reason to be out past midnight. That's pretty ridiculous.

without her husband? uh huh. riiiight.

that's not a relationship, that's a roommate you're boinking.

This all depends on how often she's going out without you. Is it a one night a week thing? More than 3 nights a week?

It fluctuates.

I really wish I wouldn’t have said anything.

More than anything, I hate working 3rd shift. Several people in my life don’t respect it.

there you go!

:clap:

I beat my wife if she comes home past midnight.

A pistol whippin' if it's after 2am.

I'll have her home earlier from now on.

LMAO

A very close family member of mine experienced this. The couple got married and everything was fine for about 8 years, maybe a bit longer. Then the wife started working at a bar and staying out late. Then she started going out partying after work. Eventually she started going out even when she wasn't working. After a bit (at this point she was around 32-35 years old) she was staying out all night partying.

It led to infidelity and a divorce. IMO, a married person (male or female) has no business being out late partying without their spouse. Every once in a while as part of a girls/guys night? Maybe... but on a regular basis? That will only lead to trouble.

:D

It’s not ridiculous. It’s called being responsible. To your earlier question, no life doesn’t have to stop. However, to raise kids in a healthy, stable, and safe environment it definitely needs to slow down, way before 6am.

me and my wife only have one rule.

neither goes out drinking without the other one. its only asking for trouble in our opinions

Not only that but also "why is she being so viscous, greedy, selfish, and full of hate? WTF did I do?"

What I saw from her during that time, and the proceeding child support ****ery, made it real easy to get over her.

My life is much better than hers. So it's cool.

The only rule in my marriage is, don't ever push me past my breaking point

Waking up with her butt in your face, what is the percentage of times has she farted?

0% Dude don’t ruin it for me.

Staying out late having a good time doesn't necessarily make you irresponsible.

If the kids weren't in a healthy, stable, safe environment the dude would perhaps have mentioned that instead?

You've got the qualifier so I'm not jumping down your throat here. That's your opinion, your wife agrees and it works for you. That's great.. out of curiosity, what kind of trouble is it asking for?

See title of thread.

I would think not having an affair would be a pretty good rule . But I guess you're OK with it as long as nobody drinks.

Going on a night out with girlfriends occasionally. Totally cool.

Doing it multiple times per week. At the age of 35. Married with kids.

That's odd and a bit troubling.

I was the one giving up going by myself.

We have a disabled daughter, she has to be taken care of. We don't just leave her with anyone. She has nurses and that time has to be scheduled. So the wife would be stuck at home more than I would be. I didn't think that was very fair so I made up the rule.

And it's proven that people make bad decisions when drunk so we don't have that to worry about either.

Well that's a given.

I'm sure you've "showed her"...

Tough guy

IDK how people don't set these kind of boundaries immediately in the first year of marriage. Your wife shouldn't be out past midnight with the 'girls' if alcohol is involved and it's without you. Maybe once or twice a month sure if a reasonable circumstance provides itself. But once you're married that shit needs to drop especially when kids come through.

I'm betting money she wouldn't like it if the scenarios were switched. Should definitely bring that shit up in counseling. Marriages are built on compromises.

And just a hint of advice here I do warn you now that she's cheated and managed to get you back your value is immediately lower. Might not notice it immediately but it is. I know it's butterflies and rainbows at the moment but this will fade and when it does just don't let her turn you into her lapdog bitch. She'll love you more for it later if you don't.

Dude. Seriously. Check your sarcasm meter once in a while

Sorry bro, more often than not, yes it does. He didn’t mention it because he probably doesn’t realize it yet.

LMAO... that's what I was thinking.. Prone to drinking till 6am, yet multiple days a week waking up with ass in the face? That's not good math, man...

I don't believe Rico mentioned her cheating, unless I missed it.

Average distance between ass and face upon wake up?

You are correct.

Like a half inch.

The worst phase was the first couple years I started working at my current employer...she was a bartender. And she would drink on the job. Her excuse for that is that many customers tip better if you do shots with them. Anyways, I mentioned that she is the type who, when she has one drink, wants to keep going until morning... yeah, the bartending days were a BITCH. I was totally distracted at my job.

On the bright side, she doesn’t pull this as much anymore. We have 7,6 and 1.5 year old daughters....she stopped doing this as much when she became pregnant with the 1 year old. So the “bartending” phase while I’m working 3rd shift are over. Thank God.

ThaVirus: Yes she finds sitters. No my issue isn’t that I envious that she is out when I want to be. It’s that no man should have to stew all night at work (providing for the family) wondering what in the hell is going on.

This.

I experienced those thoughts as well in my brief encounter.

I don’t party like I did in college. I work every night. Yeah, I like to party, but it’s become a special occasion/once in a while type thing. It’s not prioritized. And again, I am not upset at all because I am “not able to.” Seriously? It’s because I am working all night wondering what the **** is going on.

One thing that I firmly believe contributes to this is the way she was raised. Her dad is at a dive bar every...single...night. He has been for decades...and he brought her in to those dive bars all the time since she was a little girl. I’m not shitting you, my wife learned to drive at age 8... why so young? Because she would have to give her dad a ride home from these dive bars when he was shitfaced. No joke.

So there is a cultural component to this.

She is a lot like her dad in the way where a large part of the reason she wants to go out is because she is very social and she HATES missing out on things. Like if something funny or crazy happened and she wasn’t there to see it, it drives her nuts. Her dad is the same way.

She is not like her dad in the way that she would ever have our 7 year old daughter drive her home because she is drunk. She is a good mommy.

That’s close.

She could reach the pedals when she was 8?

Yeah she was tall at 8. She hasn’t grown an inch since she was 10.

Rico I think it’s great that you are trying to make your marriage work and get better. I assume counseling will help with both you two as knowledge is power and that will help you two cope with challenges in the future.

The OP is in a crappy situation but like many have said there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was engaged for 5 years to what I thought was a great woman for me (she was smokin hot). As we grew we changed and broke off the engagement. Live and learn and a bit less paperwork! Many years later I am now engaged again and it feels right from my brain & hearts point of view.

This was very nice of you. Thank you for the encouraging words.

There's are a lot of steps between "my wife went out drinking without me" and "I want a divorce".

Mmm. Yeah. I can't defend her actions under these circumstances. With that many kids and that young her ass needs to be home more often than not.

Sounds like you guys were high school sweethearts who married young. Generally those situations are tough as you age. One or both parties feels the need to go wild and make up for lost time. I was prepared to cut her some slack, but she had from 18-28 with no kids. By that point, it should be pretty much out of her system.

I don't know why parents do this to themselves. They convince themselves their life is ONLY their kids. For most people, they are going to need some break time. That doesn't make you a bad parent if you have semi-frequent nights out or still focus some time on your hobbies and other life passions. If you don't take some date nights and nights on your own, at least once every two weeks you are going to get burnt out. I've seen it with my girlfriends family, her siblings have tons of kids, they all seem SOOO angry all the time and they never have a night to themselves. I honestly don't know how they do it.

Rich coming from a guy who will never marry and doesn’t have kids.

No one has said you shouldn't have fun or take some nights out. But making it a regular thing is very irresponsible.
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I appreciate Rico’s honesty.

THIS GUY OBVIOUSLY HAS ZERO KIDS.

It's called putting others before yourself...you should try it sometime.

Empty your PMs bro. I tried to send you something.