Hey, it's after 12 on the East Coast. That means it's time to put on USA and watch the U.S. lose in curling again. At least I get to see their buns jiggle as they sweep... and they're playing Russia, which has a young and cute squad.

The girls on this Russian curling team look barely legal. They look like they might still have Hello Kitty backpacks in their closets. If the U.S. loses to this group of cheerleaders, they should just turn in their stones and brooms and spend the rest of the Olympics as spectators.

Schuster's been benched. USA might have a chance to win one now.

How do you bench the skip?

I've never heard of something like that happening before.

By throwing his choking ass on the bench.

How do teams qualify to make the top 10 to get to the Olympics?

High time. He's single-handedly responsible for our crappy performance. What a tool. His "leadership" has embarrassed our entire country and brought shame down upon the Olympics and the world of sport in its entirety. It's probably too late for us to do anything in this Olympics, but maybe this will send a signal to Curlers everywhere that we will not tolerate failure.

FAX

Top Ten Surprising Facts About Curling

10.Every year it's watched by dozens of people

9.Consistently ranked the world's number one broom-related sport

8.It's a lot like hockey, minus the speed and excitement

7.No number 7 - writer fell asleep while researching curling facts

6.Not to be confused with Norwegian sport "Carling" where you push a guy named Carl across ice

5.Longest match ever: unknown, because no one ever stays till the end

4.No number 4 - writer still asleep. Damn, curling is boring

3.Mickey Rourke making film about washed-up curling legend who comes back for one last big curl

2.Thing they slide down the ice is called "Thing they slide down the ice"

1.No one cares

Not accurate, Mr. Bearcat. Not accurate, at all.

Curling is a very popular sport. The most watched of all the Olympic sports, in fact. I don't know if you were aware of this, but more people watch Curling on TV than any other Olympic sport.

Which makes it all the more embarrassing that our Curling team is the worst excuse for a Curling team in the history of Curling teams. We suck ice ass. We couldn't pitch a stone accurately if it meant an evening of unmentionable bliss with this year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. We look like a bunch of blind monkeys playing janitor out there. It's time to can these suck-ass, sorry excuses for Curlers and get some guys who are serious about flinging things down some damn ice.

FAX

It's quite surprising, Mr. FAX. Several people have talked to me about curling, and I had no idea I had friends who care about, talk about, and are willing to admit they have watched this activity.

Did you know there's a huge day of hockey on Sunday involving the top 6 teams in the world, which are competing for 4 automatic slots into the quarterfinals? Actually, they've been playing all week. People in Canada care, because they haven't won a gold medal in like 100 years. Well, Team USA hasn't won one in 30 years, not since the Miracle on Ice; they have a young and exciting team this year.

I believe you know all of this, as for some reason I seem to remember you talking about hockey at one time or another, but while the best athletes in the world are on the ice -- with sticks and not brooms -- a lot of people seem to care more about an activity that you can find 80yo women playing in Florida (sans ice).

Then again, Mr. FAX, this is the same country that would rather watch golf or poker, so curling could very well be the next big thing in primetime.

Schuster doesn't make that shot. France needs to hit a tough shot FTW.

USA wins.

France just about made an impossible shot.

I've always found curling very interesting when I've actually taken the time to watch. Usually that only occurs every March during the Canadian championships, though (where the teams are so good it might as well be a world championship).

I've always liked hockey, but really started to get into it after Nashville was awarded the Predator franchise. I have to say, though, that I don't enjoy hockey on television much ... I do, however, really like watching it live.

Curling, however, is a great television sport. (Did I mention that Curling is the most watched Olympic sport on TV?) It has all the elements of strategy, sweeping, rock bonking, and other stuff and things that make it fun and exciting to watch. Plus, anybody can be a Curler. Anyone of any race, age, size or religious affiliation can Curl if they want as long as they have access to a big rock and some ice someplace and a broom or two.

Yep. Curling is on the upswing. In fact, it's only been an official Olympic sport for about 10 years, or so. Before that, it was an exhibition sport or something similar. Personally, I think that Curling will soon become as popular in the US as wrestling or sculling or cat flinging. What we really need is a National Curling League so we can start developing the skills of our young, college Curlers by rewarding them with big Curling contracts as professionals.

FAX

I have yet to see any curling coverage on NBC primetime. Its like they wont acknowledge it even exists???

This 2nd interview with colbert will probably be the only real highlight of the night