"Shouldn't you be working?"

Tf? Come on, mannnn!!!

Yeah, I only picked the app up yesterday. I didn't realize that there were spammers on the app, but it's fairly obvious now. The promptness of her first message was pretty suspicious as well.

No wonder that dumb**** wicked thinks it's "off the chain" male models be pimpin him yo!

seacrest is a virgin?

Only with women.

I'm not sure which part of this is the funniest. LMAO

snap LMAO

Always trust your instincts.

Is there a way to make a post on your Facebook page only visible to you and the person who made it?

Why, is someone airing their dirty laundry on your digital porch? If so, you're probably responsible for dirtying those clothes to begin with. :D

The closest thing I can think of is to remove the post from your timeline and start a private message thread with the offending party, if needed.

So I'm going to make my first drunk post on the boards tonight..I will be back on the dating scene soon..the wife and I decided to get a divorce..shit sucks but it is the best decision for both of us cause neither is happy..so I will show you ladies how it is done before long on how to pick up the ladies..so please prepare notebooks pens pencils and come ready to learn

Man.. I don't know who you are but my heart goes out to you because you know not of the amount of bullshit you're about to experience.

"So I'm going to make my first drunk post on the boards tonight..I will be back on the dating scene soon..the wife and I decided to get a divorce..shit sucks but it is the best decision for both of us cause neither is happy"

Hope you're smart enough NOT to use her lawyer.

Yup. He should just go whoring around and not worry about it though. Use the MAC system. ...move-in after completion!

No, the dumb shit gets deleted instantly and they get blocked.

There are some things I'd like to leave for ass getting reasons. I'd just rather the rest of the female population not see it.

Put the women on the restricted list... and then slap yourself for using social media like a 12 yr old girl.

You have this wrong.

I barely use social media at all. I have a company or two who monitor the page, so I tend to keep it fairly clean. If they wouldn't use social media like a 12 year old girl, I wouldn't have to worry about these things.

Being tagged out of no where by some drunk bitch wanting dick at 2am when I'm "facebook friends" with her still current husband and other family members, doesn't fly.

This sounds like a juicy story. Expound upon your previous post, good sir.

Seconded

internet dating in a GIF

http://i.imgur.com/7psyjK0.gif

I got a new bachelor pad :)

Not really.

I went to bed early last night. Got tagged in a selfie with a caption a married, even unhappily, woman shouldn't be using publicly. Must have stemmed from a random meeting and conversation a few months ago after not seeing or talking for a couple years.

This crazy bitch isn't even the reason I asked the original Facebook question.

So did you or didn't you pound out said married vag?

Not recently.

I've been tuning everything out and didn't even see the post until after 10 when a buddy text me asking how it was.

I swear this shit runs in cycles whether you're trying or not.

Somebody has to try farmers only. Those commercials cracked me up!

I'll go look around.

I/m on it !

Lookin for bacon lovin bitches !

First glance....

A lot of young girls, 18-22. A lot of bigger girls, but probably the same ratio as POF. You can't tell if the profiles are active or not. Some profiles appear fake. I recognize a few girls I know who are not single anymore.

I didn't expect to see what appears to be some sort of a former chiefs cheerleader. Definitely would. :hmmm:

Go get her!

Too far away, and the profile sets off the gold digger senses.

Someone on the east side of the city should give it a shot though.

PGM you get sum this weeoend bruh?

This is about as sexy as I'm capable of being.

http://i.imgur.com/St1FoNL.jpg

I'd date me.

Just get rich.

You sound boring.

Bro. gotta hit the "Not that there's anything wrong with drunk sex...or med school. Hell, I bet drunk sex at a med school would be awesome."

A lot of women probably think that I am, and I have no problem with that.

Not my style. I think that sort of stuff sounds creepy when sent via text to someone I've never even met.

Unfortunately I have to agree with DaKCMan but I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, I know chicks don't like boring dudes but on the other, you're being yourself and I think that's probably the most important thing.

One thing I'll say, if I may, don't talk about serious shit like that the first go 'round. If the chick is in med school, the last thing she wants to talk about is med school. I'd reserve those kinds of discussions for once you're familiar with each other and are looking to find out what's under the surface.

That's just my opinion, though.

Chiefsplanet is by far the worst place ever for this advice, you have a bunch of dudes who gave into the first slice of pussy that was offered up as a reward for their baby batter and half of the 30,000 salary. So now their wives are fat and they are balding so they grow a goatee and talk about how much puss they got back in the day, when it is obvious that their wives (between their fat pussies making farting sounds) hold all the keys to their pathetic lives. Don't worry...there is still church, casinos, and the chiefs to distract you from your life. Enjoy your heart attack...we will set up a white cross for you at the side of I-70.

I agree with this. I think you've got to be yourself.

One thing I would recommend is to keep your texts short and snappy to begin with. Large text blocks are boring (and this kills me to say, because I'm an English major) and convey the message that you might be trying too hard.

And I probably wouldn't send the "sex in a med school" thing either via text. I'd say it in real life, but I'd be able to make it come off as funny/ironic/ridiculous in real life. Not so easy to do in a text.

LMAO

DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!DEMONPENZ MVP!

LMAO

Texting is scary shit. Yeah, any kind of edgy joke you definitely want to leave for in person, because if you have to recover it is much easier to do so in person over sending 3+ texts explaining yourself, creeping you out and her out.

Yeah. I can't imagine dating in a texting world. I'd send off something questionable. Then start freaking out when the person didn't reply in a reasonable time. THen probably send like 20 texts trying to explain myself only to have the person finally reply: "Oh sorry. Left my phone in my car while I went into the store."

:banghead::doh!:

Lol yeah this happens all the time. Gotta set rules for yourself, like never send more than one 'recon' text at a time.

I had a buddy who had a methodology when it came to women and dating/texting, "If you are chill, you will drill..." - I try to stick with this.

Pro Tip...Don't text...you aren't her girlfriend...If your life is so boring that you feel the need for a pick me up from your rancid puss you picked up at buzzard beach, you need to make your life better. So call the woman when you are doing something like cleaning wheels are your car or even driving, your focus will be on your activity and you won't have that laser like focus on the woman. When you laser lock your attention on a woman that you barely know they can sniff out the desperation and approval that you so desperately need. Then the Pussy dries up. This is just a short term fix. Eventually you may trick this girl into meeting up and of course you will have a tire blow out and you will start bitching like a little bitch and the girl will text her real man to have her holes filled by a person with actual testosterone. By this point you will be crying pussy tears into your zima.

Texting is unavoidable at times, but yeah definitely don't be the one sending out initial texts all the time, let her do most of that. But if she is texting/asking questions ignoring her will definitely leave you masturbating throughout your weekend.

1:Go out and say "Hi" to everyone ever
2:start getting in the habit of asking out every girl ever
3: deal with rejection as much as possible
4: Enjoy the satisfaction as you become immune to rejection
5: Start to notice girls don't ooze gold out of their pusies
6: Workout, be a man, fart, be awesome
7: Get noticed because you character built yourself through hard work
8: Get rejected spit out shit on your friends leave you and call you an asshole
9: All the puss you want after the hard work.
10: Cum in mouths of hoes...search for housewives.

If you have to text it should be to set up a time to talk or meet.

Definitely. You should always be 'closing' when texting.

3 Strike rule in effect at all time

A girl flakes...negotiate a different time...flakes again...find a new girl she isn't interested.

A girl will text you but not meet up for a date, find a new girl she isn't interested.

A girl waffles on seeing you...get a new girl she isn't interested....

Chances are the idiots around chiefs planet have the value of a pair of Quick Trip sunglasses so girls are always going to be waffling and flaking because girls need attention and approval more than air. So the guys here between wack off sessions and in depth conversation about soapy tits are going to give it to them. If you want real life shit though stop wasting thoughts and energy on dusty pussies that don't want you.

I can bet almost all the people that have trouble with girls drive an Economy car "Because new cars are wasteful" I can bet they don't lift weights "Because they have a bla bla bla condition" They don't spend money on clothes because "I already have chiefs jerseys"
All this plus Mrs. Jessica Dusty Puss turned them down one time in 05 now they are trying for mrs Ashley Dusty Puss.....

If a girl isn't on your nuts it's because you hold little to no social value

BUT DEMONPENZ I GOTS ME A DEGREE IN ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING I AM A HARD WORKER BLA BLA BLA CRYING PUSSY TEARS ZIMA ZIMA ZIMA

Listen...if you want chicks you have to play by different rules. I can almost hear the pussy cracking and drying up as you talk about your second read through of a Malcom Gladwell book you borrowed from Harold your neighbor.

Penz is going the **** off right now.

Who is he going off on specifically?

Lenexa representin'. Betta recognize

Glad I clicked on this thread now.

penz is killing it.

Holy shit. I haven't seen Penz gold like this in way too long.

ROFL

CP betas

These dating threads are always fun for me because what it boils down to is that...In a womans eyes...you are worth nothing...that is why people struggle with dating. You can take control of your shit, but of course it takes blood, sweat, and tears. No one wants to do that right? No one wants to go to bed hungry because that sucks, no one wants to work more overtime to get themselves a better car or better clothes because that sucks, everyone wants to sit back on their asses and talk about their "Text game" or "Oh a girl responded to this because I did that" It's all excuses and bullshit until you fixed the fact that you are worth less than dirt to most girls. When you get to a decent level of education, self-esteem, you don't need the puss to feel good about yourself. Oh shit guess what happens, girls start to smile at you, you get random text messages from girls who didn't give you the time. You get good money because you don't give a ****, you go into room and you own in. It doesn't come with a week long bootcamp either. It comes from hours and hours and hours of work. Working on yourself, your job, your people skills, your awareness of what chicks like and what, working on giving up the bullshit that dries up the gash, and working on an attitude that makes the chicks bitch about you, but of course who is the one that is begging for the cock at the end of the night? Of course you will lose all your friends in the process because they hate the "New you" they say "Oh that is low that you are dating two chicks" Nevermind the fact that nothing gets a girl hornier than seeing that other chicks value you. I have a weak spot for this talk because I was fat as ****, a pussy, and I dropped the bullshit. Starved myself, got rejected, put up with so much bull shit flaking. Now I don't give a ****....the freedom of course is as good as a 777 flying into a vagina.

End the thread Sam. We're done here.

Discuss Thrower? ??

Another thing if chicks do like you and they say XYZ ignore it...I have spent time enough with chicks that they are constantly standing on a basketball so to speak with their emotions that they will say, do, text, anything to have enough approval...to hide their self loathing for awhile so they can get through their work day to without having a shit fit. Nurses, waitresses, etc have so much attention and are able to not focus on themselves so much that get them alone and they are a hot body yes, but you could see that if someone didn't text message them for a couple days they would have to shovel in 1000 tylonal PM's in their mouths to get the attention they crave or they would die.

Of course there are good woman out there, good woman who have their mental games in check, who can be a good friends and good lovers and also be a bit crazy, but these golden pussies guys crave so much aren't more than nervous animals constantly spray tanning, doing their hair, texting, fixing their tits, so johnny wack off himself texts her so they feel like living another day. Believe me though...I tell these bitches, the value of your pussy is going down and down. One day no one will want to **** you, you will see the only value you had for society is a pair of fat on your chest and some dick sucking lips. At that point I sure hope you do some united way work or jump of a bridge. You know what it doesn't matter anyway...Your value to society will be less than a dog.

Such a lucid thought from the mind of the Penz. I never thought I'd see the day where I actually understood what you were trying to say, brah.

I think it's everybody. Because real winners don't come into this thread and waste their time, they are out there too busy winning to be ****ing around in here.

People kiss hot girls asses, but they have little to no work ethic to get their own shit in check. That's why they are always putting selfies or "MEN AIN'T SHIT" on their facebook walls. You know who ain't shit? A spray tanned poser who can't keep her shit together long enough to spout it on social media. Of course you have her little friends saying "You go girl" so it feeds this crazy selfie-attention beast to the point where she is in rehab by 40
because she has to face the fact that she did nothing with her life and her brain exept for get her looks together.

No, no, that's not right. I've been assured that COChief is a wolf among us in the dating world and he's visited this thread multiple times.

Meh I like reading the stories in my down time at work.

LMAO "giving up the bullshit that dries the gash up"

Hey, I've already figured out the main thrust of what Penz is saying. I've got no value to women and I'm 100% okay with that.

I have total freedom over every waking hour and there isn't a single woman on earth that will ever be worth it to sacrifice my freedom for.

Porn. Beer. Sports on TV. Bowling. Eating unhealthy food. Why the **** would I give anything of that up?

Ain't nothing wrong with that, hell you might even get a sea sloth to **** you ever blue moon. It is the people who want it both ways that piss me the **** off.

"I WANT TO BE FAT, WATCH SPORTS, SEND A CUTE LITTLE TEXT, and **** a 10" sorry pussy. You don't pick up a bat once a week and hit the ball like Bonds.

The good news is that I'm a lot more interesting/fun in person.

Fair point about the med school bit, though. This particular chick didn't offer much extra information, but I could have thought of something else cheeky to say if I had tried.

Then again, your advice has been made obsolete by fifty pages of golden dating know-how from our good friend Penz.

You say "in rehab at 40" like it's a bad thing, rather than a true coming of age moment!

If this was a rom-com, this would be the point that Jennifer Lawrence walks into your life and saves you from yourself.

Keg in KC is the fully realized, older version of Discuss Thrower. You two should hook up sometime for a brewski.

bcuz pussy

feelsgoodman.jpg

LMAO