Feel the gurgles, rumble down
Its near time to birth some brown.
open lid on orangemange.
relief inside from gastral pain
congratulations,t@co Jr weighs 3 pounds

Sounds like pregnancy to me! ROFL

Nope. Iowanian has never been pregnant. He's on the rag sometimes though.

I'm one sick bastard...I read this entire thread while eating lunch.

ROFL Rep!

Some might read the paper
While sitting on the crapper.
But if you eat while dumping,
you're one nasty bastard.

men's PMS?

That's called TPS=Testorterone Poisoning Syndrome.

And when they age the lose hormones and get those man-boobs!
ROFL


Anyhooo...still sounds like pregnancy to me.
Great literature allows the reader to add their own meaning...right?

Girls go to the head in pairs, its not to catch a peek.
She's there to help in case of a brown blunder.
Because they dump only once a week,
They have to double team the plunger.

http://sh.stonks.com/junk/snapshot20060330065510.jpg
You got something to say about coffee, schtunad???

This reminds of how much I hate crapnel chunks hitting my nipple.

Why'd I have to be the one
To walk in here with that guy?
I don't think I'll ever get,
the foul grit from my eyes.

Slow motion blur forms in my mind
as I pass him near the sink
A toxic funk came from that guys arse
and Oh Laaaawd does it stink.

It was his choice to smile.
All part of his evil plan.
He didn't even wash the crap off..
his toxic, nasty hands.

He should have used some bleach and soap
to detox his nasty binge.
Now instead of using the door knob,
I'll have to kick it off its hinge.

I'm glad he was a stranger,
Someone I'll never know.
An environmental warning
Should follow him in tow.


If he comes back, I'll be ready
and I if he does the same.
I think I'll drown him in that toilet
and give the EPA his name.

T convalesces
Silvio is on the throne
Skipper on crapper.

wise guy creates stench
ruling from hospital loo
asthma to ensue

She placed some calls to Guiness
To see what the feat was worth..
While she hadn't measured the cable yet
She assumed it had a record Girth.

A lady doesn't crap and tell
but sometimes she just must
She birthed a brown so big around,
she thought her pelvis would bust.

She has an horseman there to verify,
the cable when it lands
He tipped his hat and said
"by gawd, I think your brown is 19 hands".

Ripley sent the cameras
Guiness sent the measure tape,
Her landlord brought a shovel
For the skidmarks left to scrape.

She feels her face a flushing
as every one who takes a peek...
laughs at her new fortune
that with Ripleys now she seeks

So get a ticket to stand in line
To get yourself a look...
Or look for the record cable
In this years' Guiness book.

A trombone player friend of mine told me this story about a gig he was doing in Nashville in a pit orchestra for a musical. They were all wearing tuxes but were given the option, given the heat and humidity, to take off the jackets.
In front of him was a trumpet player, who was battling an intestinal bug.
Halfway through the second number, said trumpet player was required to hit a very high note. When he hit the note, said trumpet player lost his seal and proceeded to shit not only his pants but the force of the note he was trying to hit and the broken seal caused him to shit all the way up the back of his white tux shirt.
He was given the rest of the night off. ROFL