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Another funny story about a young girl from Wildwood, NJ that learned life the hard way. back when I was 25 in 1991 I was in a club in Wildwood and was all liquored up with some friends of mine. I was never big on the dancing shit, but I needed to get my wiener wet. so I asked this smokin hot chick if she wanted to dance and she had this disgusted look on her face and said ''with you, no''. so I replied with ''that's ok, I have to take a shit anyway''. my friends fell out of their chairs laughing and this chick had her mouth open in shock! SHOCK I TELL YOU!
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Saving money, one and
Thank god I was smart enough to quit drinking, Drinking could be number two, I could've learned that the hard way w/ a dui. Instead, I learned because I had a party at my house and I showed this girl my penis, in my kitchen. So... that was pretty idiotic, but it could've been worse... |
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Iowanian, this thread is funny chit.
Don't try doing back flips off a dock after a full day of fishing and drinking... Don't try fishing after 3 hefty sized Bloody Marries and chasing it with shots of Hot Dam ! It does make for a great chum line however ! Every young boy learns quickly to never eva piss on an electric fence ! Never ever drink three bottles of Boones Farm on Homecoming night and then fill the last bottle of wine with Beer twice... Never party hardy before a Hall n Oats concert ! Thank God I'm growing up slowly. |
My lesson...
Never ever (while pissed off) swat a plugged up toilet with the plunger. A porcelain toilet can NOT take much of an impact. |
This is not my proudest moment and may be part of the reason I am the way I am.....
Never.....under any circumstance.....while standing in 1 foot of water, try to unplug something from a wall socket. That was one of my brain farts. I'm not even sure what I was thinking. Just walked right up to it and grabbed the plug. Luckily, I didn't get a firm grip on it before the shock hit me and I easily let go. But it scared the shit out of me. This is precisely why I refuse to do any electrical work.....I just don't pay enough attention at times. |
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You mean ol' skool fleshlights? |
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Mexican food after heavy drinking... |
Don't join the Army the morning after an EPIC party because the recruiter offers to take you out to breakfast at the "Western Sizzlin".
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If you are driving down the highway after a night of drinking, and your buddy needs to puke but you don't want to pull to the side of the highway and draw attention to yourself, so you tell him just to open the door, lean out and puke while cruising along at 60 mph (he was buckled in), either go ahead and pull over or get a down payment on having a shit load of puke cleaned out of your back seat.
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