So everything good the bible says you did... you did. Everything bad it says you did... you didn't. Gotcha.

I totally believe you. :shake: Really... I do! :shake:

I Don't Feel Physical Pain Or Physical Pleasure. I'm Not A Physical Entity.

I Didn't Do A Lot Of The "Good" Stuff, Either. The Stories Are Allegorical. They Are Lessons. Whether I Specifically Did Anything Is Less Important Than The Lessons The Stories Are Meant To Impart.

The bible says otherwise.

Well, The Bible Was Written By A Bunch Of Dudes Who Really Wanted Me To Exist In A Form That Was Conceivable To Them.

The Bible Is One Window Of Many That People Use To Understand The Type Of Entity I Am. But It Is Not Me.

This Thread Has Taken An Unexpectedly Intense Turn.

You've Got Me For About Seven More Minutes, Folks. Bring The Thunder.

What do you think of players who pray after TDs and thank you for their sporting success?

So the lesson we learn from 2 Kings 2:23,24 is that children need to respect their elders. The "allegorical" account of Elisha cursing them in your name and two bears popping out of nowhere to kill 42 kids is just a story to teach children to be sensitive to an old balding man.

Jesus Christ man... not even the Brothers Grimm could come up with ****ed up stories "to teach lessons" like yours.

What lesson does 2 Kings 19:35 impart? Or are you gonna say that the angel that killed the entire Assyrian camp went rogue?

I Think It's A Display That Means Well: It's A Way Of Saying "My Success Is Thanks To Many More Things That Are Bigger Than Me."

But, Rest Assured, I Didn't Guide That Football Into Your Hands. The Offensive Coordinator Drew Up The Play, And The QB Threw It.

I Just Watched It Happen, Like Everybody Else.

Those Stories Are Written By Men. I Endorse The Ones That Make Sense And Promote A Sensible Altruism That Makes The World A Better Place.

The Bible's Packed With 'Em. It's Also, Unfortunately, Saddled With Some Stuff That Makes No Sense, Or Makes Me Out As Some Weird Omnipotent Dictator Of Suffering.

Are you familiar at all with Xlibutscrale, a higher entity who has also communed with this forum? If so, your take on him?

I Am Unfamiliar With The Antics of Xlibutscrale.

Mostly I Just Lurk ChiefsPlanet. I'm Not A Terribly Active Member.

You guys are all nuts. Make me feel better about my own problems at least.

I believe you to be more than capable of both.

I have long had a theory about you.

I believe you had the universe when you were a child. You grew it and loved it but being a little shit... you also liked to shake the shit out of it, tap on the glass, and every now and then take a magnifying glass "just to see what would happen". (Old Testament)

You grew into a young adult and had a better grasp of humanity and the kind of things that we as humans needed to thrive and grow. Then we killed JC. After that comes the book of Revelations which is essentially a gigantic **** you to human kind and an anvil just hanging over our collective heads while we can do nothing about when/how it will drop. (New Testament)

You then grew into an adult. Tired of your childish things, you set the universe on a shelf and forgot it existed. Every now and then we might catch a glimpse of you while you are rooting around in your closed but by and large... we don't hear from you.

Personally... I like the adult you the best.

You're Great.