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To clear the palette with just "regular" weird news. A 2014 recap......
TALLAHASSEE — Florida's year in news included a 90-year-old man arrested for feeding the homeless and a "Catholic Warrior" damaging a Satanic holiday display in the Capitol. But what else would you expect from a state where the two leading candidates for governor held up a live televised debate over a small electric fan? Florida had the nation laughing for a few days at what was dubbed "Fangate" after Gov. Rick Scott showed up on stage seven minutes late at a debate after a dispute over the fan former Gov. Charlie Crist brought to the event, leaving the moderator perplexed. Even before the debate, the election had a weird twist when a candidate who received 16,761 votes in the Republican primary against Scott was charged with fabricating $182,080 in donations, or basically all of them, in a scheme to get matching campaigns from the state. But that's Florida in 2014 (or any other year), a state where people will stick just about anything in their pants — if they're even wearing them at all. Eliot Kleinberg, a Palm Beach Post reporter who is the original weird Florida archivist in what now seems to be a popular trend, says he often issues the challenge to anyone to prove another state is weirder and he's never lost an argument. "The world has come to acknowledge Florida's weirdness. It is no longer a debate," said Kleinberg, who published Weird Florida in 1998 and Weird Florida II — A State of Shock in 2006. He also created a Weird Florida Facebook page that keeps a running tab on strange news that has more than 227,000 "likes." "People in Florida have come to accept the weirdness as part of the normal activity," he said. "Justin Bieber could have gotten arrested for drag racing in California, but he came all the way to Miami Beach." Even Seth Myers used his Late Night show to create a spoof game show called "Fake or Florida" to highlight its strange news. This is the state where the U.S. Coast Guard had to rescue a man who tried to "run" 1,033 miles from Florida to Bermuda in a giant plastic bubble. He fell about 963 miles short. It's the state where lottery officials promoted the fact that they gave a sexual predator $3 million — until they realized he was a sexual predator, at which point they quickly removed the photo of him holding a big check from their website. It's the state where a blind woman sued the nudist community where she lives claiming she was harassed about the size of her service dog. It's the state where a Tampa Bay area family of four was hospitalized after eating a bottom round roast laced with LSD and came out of the hospital a family of five after the mother gave birth to a boy while being treated for the hallucinogenic. It's the state where the annual Chumuckla Redneck Christmas Parade was canceled because — big surprise — attendees kept drinking too much in previous years. And it's the state where a woman wearing a Catholic Warrior shirt was charged with criminal mischief after damaging a Satanic Temple holiday display at the Capitol. A security camera picked up the offense. Which is different than the tantrum picked up by a Tampa-area McDonald's security camera: a woman walking behind the counter wearing nothing but a thong overturning equipment, throwing food, and eating ice cream and French fries. Three naked men were caught on a security camera breaking into a Bonita Springs restaurant and stealing 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers and a paddleboard. Even when Floridians kept their pants on, they stuffed odd things in them, especially in DeLand, where a woman was charged with stealing seven frozen lobster tails she stuffed down her pants and a Wal-Mart security guard caught a man with two packages of cow tongue in his pants. There was also a man in Port St. Lucie who stole a chain saw by sticking it in his pants. That wasn't the only dangerous thing found in people's pants. A corrections officer reaching for cash at a Fort Lauderdale restaurant accidently fired his gun. The bullet shattered when it hit the floor and fragments hit a dozen people. The restaurant's name? Shooters. |
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#Ferguson |
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Jon Stewart crushes Florida on last night's show:
http://www.dailydot.com/entertainmen...arriage/?fb=dd |
Mookie Stinks!
http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-12-29/...scape-attempt/ There are still two and a half more days left in 2014, which is plenty of time to pull some sort of stunt and earn a spot on the Most Amazing Criminals of the Year list. And lookie here, Marisol Toribio of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, has come in just under the wire by shoplifting at a local Macy’s just before Christmas. But it’s not the five-finger discount itself that makes her such a noteworthy lawbreaker. No, it’s the shit smeared all over those five fingers that makes her one-of-a-kind. According to court documents, when Toribio, 32, was caught stealing from the Macy’s by store employees, she responded by reaching down in her pants, grabbing a handful of poop and smearing it all over their faces before trying to escape. Did she poop before or after she was caught stealing? Why? It’s unclear. I’ll be honest, at this point I would have let the bitch run away, because washing someone’s shit off my face takes priority over recouping goods that, let’s face it, Macy’s could totally afford to lose. You would not ever see me chasing some shoplifter down an escalator with turds smeared on my cheeks. Nope nope nope. Take the cost of those stolen dish towels out of my paycheck if you need to Macy’s, I don’t care. I’ll be in the bathroom drowning myself in hand sanitizer THANK YOU. Anyway, Toribio did NOT end up getting away and now faces theft charges, plus a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence. What about assault with a fistful of feces? |
This is pretty sad, actually...
A Florida mom faces multiple charges after four kids leapt from her car, because they say she was drunk behind the wheel. Angela Woodworth, 45, had her 11-year-old son and three of his friends in her car on Tuesday night, according to the Gainesville Sun. At about 8:30 p.m., the four children were seen running into a Steak ’n’ Shake in Gainesville. The children, who witnesses said seemed terrified, told police that Woodworth was drunk and unable to keep control of her vehicle. They said that they jumped out of the car after she hit a pole. Woodworth made it to the Steak ’n’ Shake shortly thereafter and allegedly screamed at the kids and followed them around inside the establishment, witness Josh Kramer told News4Jax. Police say they found receipts confirming that Woodworth bought two pitchers of beer at a bowling alley and four other drinks at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant. She was arrested and charged with felony child neglect, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting an officer without violence. She was not, however, charged with driving under the influence. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022 |
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Police in Florida say a 24-year-old man is accused of aggravated domestic battery after trying to circumcise his 20-month-old nephew.
The Ocala Star-Banner (http://bit.ly/1zve9rV) reports the child's father went to the grocery store Saturday evening and left his two brothers-in-law with the sleeping boy. According to police, the child was bleeding when the father returned. Larry Leroy Floyd told the father he circumcised the boy. Floyd left the apartment and the father took his child to a hospital. His condition was not available. Floyd remained in jail Monday morning. It wasn't known whether he has an attorney. |
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Those darn Florida Satan Worshippers!
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewir...ious-materials A Florida school district on Tuesday banned the distribution of religious materials from outside organizations after a Satanic group tried to hand out coloring books to students, according to the Orlando Sentinel. The Orange County school district, which includes Orlando, had allowed religious groups to hand out materials each year on Religious Freedom Day. The Christian group World Changers distributed Bibles to students, and the board allowed the Central Florida Freethought Community to hand out atheist materials last year after the group won a lawsuit. But when the Satanic Temple, known for trying to build a Satanist monument in the Oklahoma state capitol, tried to hand out coloring books to students, the county board of education considered changing the rules. The district postponed Religious Freedom Day, and then the school board on Tuesday voted to change its policy. The board decided to ban the distribution of religious, political, and sectarian materials from outside groups. "Frankly, I think, myself, that it was a mistake that we ever let World Changers distribute Bibles in our schools," school board chair Bob Sublette (pictured above) said at the board meeting Tuesday. The organizer for the Satanic Temple's local chapter, who goes by Tabitha Burns, told the Orlando Sentinel she was disappointed that it took so long for the school district to change its policy But the Satanic Temple made its point. Doug Mesner, co-founder and spokesman for The Satanic Temple, said in a September statement under the pseudonym Lucien Greaves that the group tried to hand out materials in order to call attention to the school's policy. "We would never seek to establish a precedent of disseminating our religious materials in public schools because we believe our constitutional values are better served by respecting a strong separation of Church and State," he said. "However, if a public school board is going to allow religious pamphlets and full Bibles to be distributed to students — as is the case in Orange County, Florida — we think the responsible thing to do is to ensure that these students are given access to a variety of differing religious opinions, as opposed to standing idly by while one religious voice dominates the discourse and delivers propaganda to youth." |
More Drunken Naked Masturbating Florida Women!
A nude Florida woman who cops say was on "heavy" drugs Sunday night allegedly stopped traffic to masturbate in front of a couple's car, then climbed onto the hood. Amie Carter, 31, then allegedly stomped on the car and threw a cell phone at the vehicle behind it, the Orlando Sentinel reports. Police reportedly found her in an intersection of Fairview Shores, on the outskirts of Orlando, at about 11:15 p.m., walking through the street with no clothes on, the New York Daily News reports. She appeared to be "under the influence of a heavy unknown substance" and "in an altered mental state," according to a police report. Carter allegedly put up a fight and kicked her legs in the air when she was arrested, but she was eventually hauled off to a hospital and charged with criminal mischief and exposing her sexual organs. Cops then transferred her to Orange County Jail. She caused $1,500 in damage to the Lexus that she stomped on, according to WKMG. http://www.clickorlando.com/news/nak...e-say/31311730 |
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Ft. Myers, FL (WBBH) — It’s a scenario you usually only hear about in fiction crime shows.
“They don’t teach you this in law school. It’s a strange situation,” said attorney Robert Harris. While police and deputies on scene are not telling us much, Harris tells us that a client of his – named John Marshall – drove to his office around 4:15 p.m. and was dirty, had missing teeth and appeared to have some broken fingers. He said Marshall then told him that he got into a fight with a neighbor of his in Bokeelia and fatally shot him. Marshall then told him that the body was in the back of the pickup truck he drove to the office. “Once I learned of the facts, I called 911,” said Harris. Police and deputies then swarmed the building, located on Virginia Avenue. A blue pickup truck was surrounded with crime scene tape. Marshall was questioned at the law firm, located on Virginia Avenue, for several hours. Harris said Marshall was not being arrested and instead was taken to the hospital for treatment of his injuries. We learned that Marshall has since been discharged from Lee Memorial Hospital. Harris said Marshall had recently come to him saying the neighbor had threatened him over building on a property in Bokeelia. Harris recommended a restraining order – but Wednesday Marshall told him it got physical. “This man went up to him and said he wanted to apologize for his behavior and then pulled the gun,” said Harris. The attorney said Marshall told him the neighbor pistol-whipped him. The two then wrestled to the ground and then the neighbor got shot. “He’s distraught. He’s a man who fought for his life tonight, but it doesn’t change the fact that someone is dead,” Harris said. Harris says Marshall, who he has been representing for an aggravated battery case, has been cooperating with police. “I’ll be representing him on whatever charges he faces. I tell you this, this is as clear cut a self defense case as I’ve seen,” he said. But that’s something that can only be determined in court after investigators gather all the facts. The Fort Myers Police Department is staying very tight-lipped about the situation – only telling us it’s a death investigation. Neighbors We went to Bokeelia where Harris says it all started. Neighbors say Marshall recently bought an empty lot on Hodges Drive. The house just across the street from the lot is where neighbors say the man who was shot lived for many years. Neighbors say the two could not get along. Just a few days ago, one of the neighbors says Marshall told him he was threatened by the other man. Marshall’s attorney says this is a self-defense case but some neighbors say they have a tough time believing that. “I’m just absolutely devastated,” said neighbor Jill Hammer. The integrity and the love this man shows to all his neighbors and his family and he’s gone. He would never have started a confrontation. He would have turned and walked away. http://fox4kc.com/2015/03/05/lawyer-...body-in-truck/ |
Florida Leading the Nation in Public Pooping Arrests! No Sh*t!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/0...ushpmg00000022 Florida may be known as the "Sunshine State," but its police are constantly having to deal with where the sun don't shine. In the last 30 months, Florida has had at least five people arrested on charges that include some form of inappropriate defecation. The latest Floridian accused of crappy behavior is Katelyn Patricia Felegi, 18, who was was arrested April 25 after allegedly breaking into and damaging her ex-boyfriend's home, according to the Tampa Bay Times. A Pinellas County Sheriff's deputy who was driving Felegi to jail said she allegedly defecated in the back of the squad car. The deputy said Felegi intentionally removed her pants and pooped all over the police cruiser, WFTV.com reports. The poo-stained patrol car was out of commission for eight hours while inmates were forced to clean it up, according to the Associated Press. The total damage was estimated at around $100. Felegi has since been charged with criminal mischief, burglary and simple domestic assault, according to the Tampa Times. If the accusations against Felegi stick, she joins a rogues gallery of Floridians who made their mark with poop. Amy Goldberg In March, Amy Goldberg, 57, was accused of smearing dog poop on the face and arms of a neighbor whose pooch pooped on the suspect's lawn. Patricia Ann Jamison Patricia Ann Jamison, 49, was arrested in April last year after deputies say she pooped in an elevator at the St. Lucie County Courthouse in Fort Pierce, Florida. Gregory Matthew Bruni Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, became a pooping legend of sorts in January 2013 when he allegedly climbed naked onto a family's home in North Fort Myers and jumped onto the homeowner. Bruni allegedly ran inside the house, knocking down a TV and spilling the contents of a vacuum on the floor -- which he later drank. Bruni is accused of pooping in two spots on the floor, but not before masturbating in the living room and rubbing clothes belonging to the residents on his face. Brenda Schumann To be sure, January 2013 was a big month for public pooping. Police in Vero Beach, arrested Brenda Schumann, 51, after she allegedly defecated and urinated on the floor of her home after after discovering her husband in bed with another woman. She later told a deputy: "I found him in bed with a naked chick, what was I supposed to do?" |
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Woman calls for police..... through Pizza Hut app....
Pizza Hut app Hostage saves herself via Pizza Hut app: “Please help. Get 911 to me.” A Florida woman used the comments section of a Pizza Hut order made from her smartphone on Monday afternoon to alert authorities that she and her children were being held hostage. When police responded to her message, arriving at the location, she and her children were quickly released, unharmed, and the kidnapper was arrested. According to a Highlands County Sheriff's Office press release, Cheryl Treadway, a woman from Avon Park, about 85 miles southeast of Tampa, had been arguing most of the day with her boyfriend, Ethan Nickerson, who carried "a large knife." As the agency wrote: When Ms. Treadway attempted to leave the residence to pick up the children from school, Mr. Nickerson grabbed her and took her cell phone. He then accompanied Ms. Treadway to pick up the children. Upon returning home, Ms. Treadway eventually convinced Mr. Nickerson to let her use the cell phone to order a pizza which is when she sent the message to Pizza Hut. Immediately after the pizza order was placed, Mr. Nickerson took the cell phone back from her. WFLA, a local television station, reported that this was her regular order, a "hand-tossed classic pizza with pepperoni." The Pizza Hut employees recognized Treadway’s order and realized that her comments to send help could be genuine. Officers were dispatched both to the Pizza Hut location and to Treadway’s home, where one cop convinced Nickerson to stand down and let the hostages go. "We've never seen that before," the restaurant's manager, Candy Hamilton, told WFLA. "I've been here 28 years and never, never seen nothing like that come through." http://cdn.arstechnica.net/wp-conten.../7675949_G.jpg |
Ft. Lauderdale PTA Parents of the Year:
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) — A couple gave their teenage daughters cocaine and marijuana if they went to school and did household chores, authorities said. Chad and Joey Mudd, of Largo, a suburb in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area, gave their daughters, ages 13 and 14, drugs as a "bargaining tool" for school attendance and doing chores, Pinellas County Sheriff's detectives said. They were arrested Monday. According to an affidavit, the mother said she smoked pot with her daughters five times and the father snorted cocaine with the teens and one of his daughter's boyfriends in his truck. Chad Mudd, the 36-year-old father who works at an area beach bar, was charged with six counts of child abuse and one count of possession of cocaine. Joey Mudd, the girls' 34-year-old mom, was charged with two counts of child abuse. Arrest records say she works at a pediatrician's office. Joey Mudd was released Wednesday on bail and Chad Mudd was released Thursday on bail. Calls to telephone numbers belonging to the Mudds weren't answered. It's unclear if they've retained an attorney. It's not clear who has taken custody of the children. The sheriff's office hasn't immediately returned a telephone call. |
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http://www.wptv.com/news/state/flori...-from-vampires
LEE COUNTY, Fla. - Disco fever or dancing with the devil? Either way you look at it, one man's moves have landed him in some hot water. 44-year-old Christian Radecki of Cape Coral was arrested April 7th after he was caught on surveillance video bumping his car into the back of a Lee County Sheriff's Office marked patrol vehicle. He then began dancing on the patrol vehicle's roof while music blared from his car, and then broke the windshield wipers and took an American Flag from the neighbor's yard. Redecki, a convicted sexual offender, was arrested for Disturbing the Peace and Criminal Mischief after the neighbors called the police. According to a Cape Coral Police report, Radecki said it all began when a "woman with fangs" came to his door, threatening that a human sacrifice was about to occur involving vampires. "Therefore, Radecki made the conscious decision to get the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him stop the slaughter of small children," the report states. Radecki told officers that he had not taken any recreational drugs or alcohol, has not been diagnosed with any mental health conditions, nor did he take any prescribed medication. Radecki was taken to Cape Coral Hospital for medical clearance, then transferred to the Lee County Justice Center in apparent good health. For the record, his dance playlist started with Hall & Oates' "Rich Girl", and ended after Supertramp's "Goodbye Stranger." |
Florida Man Tries to blow up his foreclosed house with an exploding bowling ball!
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/P...307881081.html A South Florida man who didn't want a bank to sell his foreclosed home tried to blow it up using a bowling ball as an explosive, authorities say. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reports 21-year-old Tyler Butler was arrested Monday on charges of arson and using an explosive device. A fire started around 10 p.m. Sunday in Loxahatchee. Butler was inside the home when the fire was reported. Deputies detained Butler after he left the burning home. As firefighters extinguished the flames, they noticed a bowling ball with a wick attached The sheriff's office bomb squad removed the ball. Butler told deputies he set things on fire in the home using a cigarette lighter, he poured gun powder in a bowling ball and used a rope as a fuse. |
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They could arrest half my block, the other half don't have kids.
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MIMS, Fla. — Police say a man who was checking to see if a bullet was still in the chamber of a pistol has died after he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, accidentally shooting himself.
Authorities say 49-year-old Charles Cooper shot himself at 1:50 a.m. Sunday during a weekend fishing trip and a cookout in Mims. Police say Cooper had been drinking beer. At one point during the gathering, he retrieved a handgun. Cooper's friends told investigators that after he removed the magazine from the gun, he asked if there was still a round in the chamber. Cooper then raised the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, discharging a round. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Read more here: http://www.bradenton.com/2015/06/15/...#storylink=cpy |
South Florida couple accused of turning teen into sex slave :spock::spock::spock:
Sick bastards! http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/08/13...nto-sex-slave/ A South Florida couple allegedly turned a teen into their sex slave and sealed her off from the outside world for more than five years, police said. Rob Johnson, 44, and his wife, Marie Johnson, 43, of Port. St. Lucie, were arrested on Tuesday and charged with felony sexual assault. The Port St. Lucie Police Department said the girl was sent to live with the Johnsons at age 13 after her mother died, and was told she could only be part of their family if she agreed to have sex with them. She was told to call Rob Johnson “master,” investigators said in an arrest affidavit, and Marie Johnson pushed her against a wall and held her by her throat until she agreed to the sexual demands. The girl, who isn’t identified in police filings, was beaten when she didn’t follow the couple’s directions or complete her chores. The girl said the abuse continued for more than five years. All the while, Rob Johnson held Sunday school classes for his family at their home, invoking Old Testament passages to justify the actions, according to the arrest affidavit. The girl, now 21, was homeschooled, not allowed to use the phone and forced to rehearse what to say to doctors if she was asked about sexual activity, according to police. The girl eventually was able to leave the home after her grandmother purchased a plane ticket to bring her to Ohio, the police said. The Johnsons were freed on bail later Tuesday, the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office said, after each posted $60,000 bond. No attorney was listed for them. Port St. Lucie is on Florida's Atlantic coast, about 115 miles north of Miami. http://a57.foxnews.com/global.fncsta....jpg?ve=1&tl=1 http://a57.foxnews.com/global.fncsta....jpg?ve=1&tl=1 |
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You can't fix that - you have to exterminate it! |
Driver Crashes Car, Tells Police To Arrest Her Dog ROFLROFLROFLROFL
http://news.yahoo.com/driver-crashes...074721049.html ---------------------------------- A woman who crashed her car into an apartment building tried to shift the blame onto her pet dog, telling police she wanted the animal arrested. Christina Anne Marie Lamoreaux got out of her car when she hit the complex in Florida and fled the scene, heading back to her home. Unfortunately for the 33-year-old, she was seen by witnesses who told the police what they had seen. Officers who arrived at her apartment admitted to driving into the building but insisted her dog was to blame. Lamoreaux then told them that the dog should be arrested instead of her, adding that she only drove away because she was always going to pay for the damage. Police didn’t buy her story and arrested Lamoreaux, who apparently smelled of alcohol and appeared “confused”. She refused to take a sobriety test, and was duly arrested, according to Daily Commercial. Lamoreaux was charged with DUI and resisting arrest. It is not clear what her pet dog was supposed to have done to have caused the crash. http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/FU...f40b0181f8497f |
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I just moved into a townhouse. First thing I did? Introduced myself to the neighbors, and gave them my phone number should they see something with my kids, or I see something with theirs. Self-policing is non-existent these days, and it's truly sad. |
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http://www.nbc-2.com/story/29893142/...sievers-murder
Wow, this is just ****ing crazy. I know Wayne Wright, he's married to a very good friend of mine. He was down here jus after the murder happened. It's very difficult to believe. I'm sure there's something to it since he's being charged with second degree murder. The Doctors husband is like his brother. I know his wife must be going crazy right now. I can't wrap my hea around this yet. Just ****ing WOW!! |
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"Lemme gum on ya with this face and breff that reeks of cheap wine and Liggett Light 100s..." |
Man arrested after allegedly sniffing feet at Florida International library
ROFLROFLROFLROFL
He's a "shoe in" for wacko of the week! http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/09/16...ional-library/ Miami-Dade police said Tuesday they’ve arrested a man days after a complaint that someone was spotted crawling underneath library tables at Florida International University and smelling a woman’s feet. Eddy Juan, 52, was arrested and charged with violation of sexual offender registration, fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, aggravated assault and resisting without violence. FIU police had previously notified students about a man spotted under a table at a campus library Aug. 29, along with a description and a photo. WSVN reported that police handed out fliers across campus along with the campus-wide alert. "This guy must have a weird fetish," student Natalie Quintana told WSVN. "God only knows what else he wants to do if he's going to be smelling your feet." The fliers showed a bald man wearing a red shirt and a baseball cap. In another picture he was seen riding a scooter. Authorities say a man matching the description was spotted Tuesday on a scooter several miles from the campus. Officers attempted a traffic stop, but say the man fled and eventually crashed and was arrested. http://a57.foxnews.com/global.fncsta....jpg?ve=1&tl=1 |
Man disembowles GF for saying her ex's name during sex. WTF?!
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/09/flor...me-during-sex/ |
He kind of did to her what the Chiefs do to me during the playoffs.
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PENSACOLA, Fla. — A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver’s trigger.
Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was being treated at a hospital for a gunshot wound to his wrist. Bradford said he decided to shoot the 3-month-old shepherd-mix dogs in the head because he couldn’t find them a home, according to the sheriff’s office. On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies — one in his arms and another in his left hand — when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber revolver. The gun then discharged, the sheriff’s report said. Deputies found three of the puppies in a shallow grave outside Bradford’s home, said sheriff’s Sgt. Ted Roy. The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken by Escambia County Animal Control, which planned to make them available for adoption. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5950304/ns.../#.VgLo9ntNDfI |
Couple arrested for abusing elderly Mom
http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/32831025-story She's quite the looker! |
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/flor...defiler-657903
A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report. The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa. According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras. After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.” While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.” Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond. The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale. |
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Florida Uber driver arrested for exchanging ride in his vehicle for oral sex:police
An Uber driver was arrested in Florida after receiving oral sex from a woman in exchange for a ride.
Jason Lynch, 42, was spotted picking up a female passenger in a St. Petersburg area “known for prostitution activity,” police said. And when cops swooped in on the car in a parking lot, he was spotted “receiving oral sex in his vehicle” from Elizabeth Santos, 41. Lynch had his penis exposed in “full view of the public,” says the police report, according to The Smoking Gun. When he was arrested, Lynch admitted that he asked Santos how she intended to pay for the journey, before agreeing to “exchange a ride in his vehicle for oral sex.” Uber driver Lynch told cops that he had agreed to exchange a ride in his car for oral sex, according to the police report. Both driver and passenger were arrested on prostitution and lewd and lascivious behavior counts. Lynch was released from custody late Wednesday after posting $500 bond. Santos, who was found guilty of prostitution in 2013, was charged with a felony for allegedly servicing Lynch. She remains in jail and is being held in lieu of a $5,250 bond. http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopo...1.jpg?enlarged |
http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/crime...-sex/75646104/
A man has been arrested after accidentally shooting a woman in the head while they were engaged in sexual activity. Just before 2 a.m. on November 7, Tampa Police responded to a 911 call from Tyrone Fields*who said he shot Christina Meagher in the head at the Regency Inn and Suites on Church Avenue. When police arrived they were met by Fields*and saw Meagher*on the bed with a gunshot wound to her head. She was transported to St. Joseph's Hospital where she later died from her injuries. Fields admitted to shooting the victim but said it had been during "freaky sex" with Meagher and that he had only know her for two days. He says they were involved in a role-play scenario in which he put a gun to her head. Fields said he removed the magazine from his handgun but forgot to remove the bullet from the chamber so when he intentionally pulled the trigger as part of the role-play, he fired a single round into the her head. Motel surveillance video shows Fields and Meagher both*entering the motel room consensually. Also, sexual battery examination results appear to be negative for any injury consistent with sexual battery. |
"Hello 911? Bring me some chicken wings and cigarettes...I'm too drunk to drive."
http://www.fox9.com/news/48361578-story CLERMONT, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - Lake County deputies on Wednesday arrested a Clermont woman for improperly calling 911, wanting cigarettes and chicken wings. Deputies responded to an apartment complex after the Sheriff's Office received a 911 call from a woman who stated she would pass out if she didn't get the chicken wings and cigarettes. The caller, 45-year-old Liann Watson, told responding deputies she had been drinking and was unable to drive. She said she decided she would call 911 to ask someone to bring her chicken wings and cigarettes. Watson was arrested for misuse of the 911 System. |
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Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute
NOVEMBER 16--Meet Wendy Luper. The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited). According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton. While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.” But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot. When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.” Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond. Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper. |
Naked, drunken man with 3 women in car hit 110 mph, police say
My question is were the 3 women naked too? What caused him to go so fast? :hmmm: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/07...0mph-cops-say/ A Florida man with a history of drug, gun and theft arrests was allegedly naked, drunk and driving 110 mph with three female passengers when the Florida Highway Patrol caught up to him on Saturday afternoon. Noe Dejesus, 33, was released Sunday after posting a $6,000 bond, FOX13 reported. He faces charges of DUI and driving without a license. Dejesus was pulled over just after 3 p.m. following a report of a car driving recklessly on Alligator Alley. The Highway Patrol officer who clocked Dejesus’ speeding Cadillac initially believed the driver was merely shirtless. But when Dejesus opened the door and stepped out, he was completely naked, police said. The trooper allegedly spotted an open 12-pack of Corona and a nearly empty bottle of Crown Royal whiskey in the car, according to the Naples Daily News. Dejesus allegedly smelled of alcohol, was slurring his speech and almost fell down trying to put his pants on. He declined to perform a field sobriety test and was arrested. |
Haven't seen this thread in a while. We need that hot teacher caught having sex with a student thread bumped now.
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POETIC JUSTICE SERVED BY WALLY GATOR!!!
Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator While Hiding From Police In A Pond :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
http://rossmcgposts.tumblr.com/post/...r-while-hiding A suspected burglar has been killed by an alligator while hiding out in a pond. The body of Matthew Riggins, 22, was found in water in Barefoot Bay in Florida ten days after he was reported missing. Police said Riggins was attacked by an 11-foot long alligator while he was hiding out after a series of planned break-ins. Before he was reported missing, Riggins called his girlfriend to tell her he would be in the area breaking into homes. Two men dressed in black lurking behind homes were spotted by residents, leading to a police search of the area that involved a helicopter and dog units. The search was called off but Riggins was reported missing by his family the next day. Major Tod Goodyear, from the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, told BayNews9: “He probably went into the lake to hide from the officers and the dog, and came across that gator. “To hide somewhere to try and get away, and then meeting up with an animal like that, no, I’ve never had that happen before.” When a police dive team located Riggins’ body, they also came across the alligator, which was euthanised. Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach. http://41.media.tumblr.com/3084530fb...tvq1n4_500.png http://orig01.deviantart.net/ffbd/f/...us-d4uaypf.jpg |
I love this thread. I love it a really lot.
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It never stops giving along with the teacher-student sex thread! |
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PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —A Port St. Lucie woman is free on bail after being arrested for a fight over flatulence.
Police were called to a home recently on a domestic battery complaint. Donald Meikle told police that he was passing gas in bed when his wife, Dawn, began elbowing him on his arm. He said his wife eventually kicked him out of their bed because he would not stop passing gas. Donald Meikle said he got back into the bed and passed gas again. He said his wife started kicking him again. At that point, he said he began to restrain his wife out of concern for his safety. Donald Meikle said that while he was restraining her, her lip was split open. Dawn Meikle gave the same version of events to police. She was arrested for domestic battery and later released. http://www.kmbc.com/national/fight-o...t%20Type=Story |
Nothing better than starting off this week with another Important News Story out of Florida. This is an oldie but a goodie, and one of my favorite News Story Headlines:
Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs Is Armed and On the Run Authorities in Florida are searching for an armed quadruple amputee who's reportedly been on the run since Tuesday, hoping to question him about his involvement in a double murder. Sean Petrozzino, 30, reportedly lost his legs, hands and parts of his arms to bacterial meningitis years ago. Police say he moved in with his parents last week after separating from his wife amidst some serious financial issues. Both of his parents were both found dead Tuesday morning after Sean's mother, Nancy Petrozzino, failed to show up for her job as a schoolteacher. Sean Petrozzino was last seen on an ATM surveillance camera Tuesday morning. Although police say he's currently a "person of interest" and not an official suspect in the double murder, a spokesperson did caution that he's armed with a gun. A prosthetics expert told the Orlando Sentinel you don't need a hand to shoot both your parents—just the will—as most guns can apparently be fired by the handless, "without special devices." |
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http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/u..._3-620x429.jpg http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M7...4edo0&pid=15.1 But it can be done... http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0xOse6a08a...e+shooting.jpg And WTH???? http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/wp-...Uncensored.jpg |
THREE SEPARATE AND WONDERFUL WOMEN OF FLORIDA
1. Florida woman arrested after drinking wine, eating rotisserie chicken while driving motorized cart around Wal-Mart
http://wthitv.com/2016/01/02/florida...ound-wal-mart/ https://lintvwthi.files.wordpress.co...3am2.jpg?w=650 CITRUS COUNTY, Fla. (WFLA) – A woman ate sushi, cinnamon rolls and the majority of a rotisserie chicken, while drinking wine and driving a motorized shopping cart at Walmart, according to the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office. She was arrested for shoplifting and other charges. It happened at the Lecanto Walmart on Tuesday. Citrus deputies responded after the store loss prevention employee contacted them about an alleged shoplifter he had in custody. The employee told deputies that he had noticed the woman acting suspiciously driving the motorized shopping cart. He could see a half-empty bottle of wine in her cart. He also said he watched her grab a box of sushi from the shelf, eat a piece and put the box back. She did the same with cinnamon rolls and mini muffins. He says he then saw her eat the majority of a rotisserie chicken while on the shopping floor. The woman, Josseleen Elida Lopez, 20, consumed $32.36 worth of food and wine while at the store, deputies say. When the deputies arrested her, they found two empty syringes, one in her purse and one in her backpack. She told detectives she had used the syringes to shoot up meth earlier. When they asked her why she took the food she said she was hungry and didn’t want to bring it outside of the store. She told them she knew that what she was doing was wrong. She was arrested on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. 2. Florida woman arrested after 5 kids found by highway in only diapers http://wncn.com/2015/12/31/florida-w...-only-diapers/ https://mgtvwncn.files.wordpress.com...sted.jpg?w=620 A 24-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of child neglect after five young children were found attempting to cross a Florida highway wearing nothing but heavily soiled diapers, police said. The kids, aged from 1 to 5, were stopped by a motorist before they entered traffic lanes on Route 19 outside Spring Hill, 40 miles north of Tampa, Tuesday morning. The children were unable to say their names or where their parents were. The youngest child, a 1-year-old girl, had a “severe rash on various parts of her body” that appeared to have been there for several weeks, according to a statement from Hernando County Sheriff’s Office Wednesday. Deputies had been at the scene for 30 minutes when they were approached by Samantha McCarthy, who told them that the children she was caring for at a nearby Motel 6 went missing while she was asleep. The 24-year-old told officers her door was locked and she had no idea how the children got out. She added the youngest child’s rash had been there for two-to-three days and she planned to seek medical treatment later that day. However, deputies said they confirmed McCarthy had no mode of transport and had made no appointment with a doctor. Officials from Florida’s Department for Children and Families searched the motel room and found no food and only minimal clothing. McCarthy was arrested on suspicion of child neglect and her bond was set at $5,000. Officials did not state her relationship to the children. The Department for Children and Families took all five children, aged 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1, into custody and the youngest child was taken to hospital for treatment for her rash. 3. Police: Naked Florida woman booked after abandoning child, urinating on police http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...110-story.html http://www.trbimg.com/img-5692b240/t...01/375/211x375 DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Police have booked a woman they say abandoned her child and fought officers as they arrested her. Multiple news outlets report Daytona Beach police arrested 34-year-old Jennifer Cael Thursday on charges including child neglect and resisting an officer with violence. According to a charging affidavit, Cael left her child with strangers Thursday night at a lobby of an apartment complex. Police later found Cael intoxicated and naked inside an apartment. Police say she approached officers and punched one in the chest. They say she also urinated on them when they tried placing her in handcuffs. She was being held at Volusia County Branch Jail. It's unclear if she has an attorney. |
I just love Floriduh!
No Cash To Open A Bank Account? Don't Do What This Guy Allegedly Did http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/...0cad15e65c401? Steve Leon Coley Jr. of Florida walked into a Bank of America to open an account, but the teller told him he didn't have the $25 minimum. Police say he solved the problem in a simple way -- he robbed the place. The 36-year-old was arrested Wednesday hours after he entered the bank to make his first deposit, according to WTSP.com. Deputies in Pasco County said the suspect showed his Florida driver's license to the teller on his first visit and returned around 2:47 p.m. demanding money, according to TampaBay.com. Police say Coley left with an undisclosed amount of cash and was spotted walking down the street counting money. The arresting officer said Coley fit the description of the suspect and that he had the exact amount of money stolen from the bank in his possession, according to ABC Action News. Coley was arrested on one count of robbery without a weapon. He was taken to the Land O'Lakes Detention Center, according to jail records. http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/...2c000303aa.png |
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I go to Walmart like once a month to get my meds and do a little shopping. I go before 9am so it's not busy at all and I cruise around in one of the motorized cars.
I used to worry about an employee telling me to get my fat ass off, but most people see the huge zipper on the side of my head and go about their business. :D |
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