Tell her too bad....and to wear yoga pants. You will get laid lol

Its not bad out do you want to hit it or nah?

If its too cold for your vagina take her to one of the various hookah lounges. Its relaxing and encourages conversation. If it goes well offer to take her for ice cream at either Murrays or Coldstone.

She wants me to come to her place. Heh.

Should I offer to cook her dinner? Or cook dinner together?

It sounds like you're already set, then. Couldn't hurt to offer to cook dinner, or maybe bring some takeout.

You guys are going to smash. Offer to bring Chinese and most def. bring wine and or beer.

And go by some condoms.

Rumble young man rumble

This is a first date?

LMAO

See guys, women like to get laid too.

Do not cook dinner together. Eat AFTER. :evil:

Eat during and you'll keep her longer.

Works for me.

I'd never eat the cat on the first date. NEVER.

LMAO
Probably a good policy but it ruins my funny joke.

Invariably I'm not a big fan anyways. You guys look really funny down there with just your nose and eyes showing. Like cartoon characters. Only a select few guys have ever appreciated me laughing during sex.

Does she know this? If so and she is in grad school she just wants to ****.

Yep, I was right.

Fix something that does not leave a taste in your mouth.

I find it puzzling they are not doing enough for you to be concentrating enough to look down there.

I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!

Agreed. You haven't found anybody good enough at it.

Sweet.

Sounds like Kaptian hasnt found a good pipelayer

No I've definitely been well loved and ****ed. If none of you think it's funny looking when a girl is using your dick to inflate her cheeks then you don't smoke enough pot. If none of you can imagine a girl liking intercourse over foreplay then I must assume you all have tiny weiners.

My dick's everything that I'm not: short and pencil-thin.

I'M A GROWER NOT A SHOWER :(

It could be a back scratcher.

This supposedly flies in the face of everything I've read / been told about how vaginal sex doesn't do it for most women..

:LOL: you're the goods...

My dick.. like supersized. Your dick.. looks like two fries.

My dick..plays on the double feature screen. Your dick.. went straight to DVD.

My dick, bigger than a bridge

-Yo' dick, look like a little kid's

Or a lockpick.

Eating the cat is an extremely useful skill.

When I'm in a committed, monogamous relationship I like to go downtown early and often. They're practically begging for a hard dick in them after you eat the cat for 10 minutes.

.... Then they don't get mad when you blow in 45 seconds!

Double bag it smoke. JFC

I'd blame the lack of an operating manual all around.

This is interesting. How's everyone feel about pulling out when you're about to blow and going back down to keep up the stimulation, but also to give Flesh Gordon a chance to catch his breath?

Committed relationship only caveat.

""Eating the cat " is an interesting way of putting it.

Hey baby, can I eat your cat? Sounds very odd.

Don't go down on that

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Dude, that's like my ****ing go to right there. Also, I pretty much only switch positions when I feel like I'm about to blow..

I wonder if they realize I'm trying to stave off the eruption :hmmm:

I'm not. I don't know where its been well enough yet.

Don't even ask, brah. Just dive in..

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5156763392/h14141C08/

The funny thing is, you could wife her and still have no idea who she's slanging cooch to.

.. But I'd still saying going around eating random box is bad for business.

Hopefully the cat doesn't have herpes or teh AIDS.

Ladies and gentleman, the 5000th post in this thread.

She doesn't go by the name Squirrel does she?

LMAO

I'm off to do some pipe laying. Will report back with pix.

Eatin the box is the key to keepin her around

:jacknicholsongif:

So I see we've once again gone from the date thread to the penthouse forum thread.

PoW! Big Dick Smoke boinking on the first date.

http://i.imgur.com/Y7BlbK5.pngIm proud of you son

He isn't in yet...or is he? :)

Epic if she has a full bush.

to infinity

AND BEYOND

Zarth is gonna get him some!

lol

I want you to picture my horror, when the first girl I had to talk to weighed about 300 pounds. Not kidding. We talked for what seemed like 10 minutes. Each second was as long as a life age. Then the bell rang.

The bell to BEGIN our first speed date. LMAO

So we talked some more. She was really a stunning conversationalist.

Five minutes goes REALLY fast, thankfully.

I picked 3/19. I actually liked 4 of them, but two of them were friends. Not dealing with that.

Also got to hear some great stories about the creepy dudes I saw walking around. One of them asked a girl "do you think we would have attractive children?" ROFL

Two more almost made the cut, but one of them seemed crazy and reminded me too much of Sarah Jessica Parker. The other one, well...you should always view someone from an alternate angle.

This was far more horrifying for the women, I'm sure. There was a guy walking around who looked like he had at LEAST 3 World of Warcraft characters. I felt bad watching him try to force conversation with a girl who looked like Anne Hathway.

(yes I picked her)

(I think she likes me)

Anyway, now we play the waiting game. We'll see tomorrow at 3 if I get any email addresses from those lovely women. PICK ME! PICK ME!

Decided to use the "poke" feature on Facebook.

that is only for creepers.

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Celebrate good times, come on! PBJ PBJ PBJ

Well tell us how it turns out.

I know way more than I wanted to know about you guys now.

you're just NOW at that point? :)

I'm the queen of TMI. It's takes a lot for me to start shaking my head...lol.

Full bush?

Is this making a comeback or something?

I don't think so. Was thinking it was just a Kansas thing or something.

What do you all think about women that have dogs that they treat like the children they never had? Calling the dog "their child" and other such nonsense.

I'm currently experiencing a situation like this right now, where last night I was basically told that my relationship with her dog was something she was going to judge me on. Needless to say an argument ensued...

It is creepy, but ok since it's not a cat. Dogs can smell trouble.

The dog likes me, craves my attention I would say. But being told that you are going to be judged on how you interact with said dog and that it affects the relationship, did not sit well with me. It's a dog.

Btw, this girl is my girlfriend now, we are past the dating stage and I guess the 'honeymoon' phase is over. Now I guess it is time to meet the real her.

Huge turn off. My buddy married one of these dumbasses and now they are house hunting and basing a 30 yr mortgage on whether or not a ****ing dog that has 5/6 years left of live likes the backyard.

might help if you can lick your own balls.

Yeah, it was a huge turn off for me, very unattractive and kind of weird saying an animal is like 'your kid.' Anyway, after said argument she said she was aware of her problem and will work on it.

Lol and that sucks about your friend, that is true worst case scenario with regards to a woman's pets.

LOL... no she won't.....

It really is kind of creepy how she words it but if my dog and a potential boyfriend just couldn't get along, that creates more stress than I'm looking for and we can just high five our separate ways.

If I'm in love I'm finding the dog a new forever home.

Damn you moved quick. Where did you meet her?

Yeah, I was actually kind of ready to bounce. The dog thing is just bizarre. What's worse is that I'm finding a lot of single women around my age with no children have this dog/cat problem. Dogs and cats are not children...

Lol, it's been two months bro. You can girlfriend a girl in two months. I met her through Christianmingle.

Nnnnnnnoooooooooooope

There's your first problem.

Absolutely. Oh I confuse posters all the time heh Did you join at my suggestion or was that someone else that did?

Discuss...you are joining farmers only

I didn't giver her an ultimatum, she voluntarily said she would work on it. Her relationship with her dog is her thing and I'm fine with it, but don't force that bullshit on me. I will interact with pets how I want to. Btw, I have my own dog but I realize they aren't children.

Just as long as it isn't a stupid little yippy dog. Those are the absolute worst.