Whatcha going to think about? I mean part of you would have to have the stupid squirrel in the fore front of your mind just because well... duh. But youd think the psychosis would be an instant cold shower or maybe men don't work that way and it really doesn't matter whats going on in your head you can bust a nut.

Anyways, just wondering.

Squirrell ?

Lol what's the story on why you call her that?

I will probably just watch porn on my phone..nothing like a good gang bang or orgy port to get the juices flowing

Well it's a long story but basically it's because she is nuttier than a bucket of squirrel turds

LMAO

I think we've all been there at least once!

Wow POF has a new feature where you can send a voice message.


Thats creepy.

I was 16 the first time an ex did this to me.

Crazy bitches are crazy.

Wow, I don't think I would of told them that. Let em find out when the child is born.

Who the **** tries for support 4 months preggo? Is this a real lawyer? Shit. I would tell a lawyer about this and see if they will take the case and all you want for judgements is court costs.

Just send em a dick pic

Yes. Two apartments over. It was never anything serious on my part but she instantly serious (she was 10 years older and her biological clock was ticking loudly), so I bailed after a month or so.

Anyway, it was pretty awkward when I started dating someone else (my now wife). The neighbor would glare daggers at us whenever she saw us.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uwW2-IzA02g

Ha dick pic

Whats your e-mail address?

http://lickthisapp.com/

Public service announcement.
Pubic?

My tongue is wider than my first three fingers touching themselves, and can hold a cotton shirt on a clothes hanger

I think can skate by on limited technique.

No, but slept with a female roommate almost every Thursday night at 10pm for a semester during college. LMAO

That's a pretty rigid schedule. What are the deets?

Her whole life was one big scheduled event.

It was weird at first, and got even weirder when she caught her little sister giving a hummer. LMAO It all went down hill from there and got very awkward before I finally moved.

That's not enough deets, ghak! I'm trying to figure out how you bone your roommate every single Thursday at 10 o'clock sharp.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I remember beer initially opened the gates. I basically fell into it without even knowing what was happening because it took a few weeks for me to realize it appeared to be scheduled into her weekly routine. I traveled on weekend research trips fairly often at the time and it seriously screwed up her whole week if I left on a Thursday. This was one of those girls who organized the cabinets and aligned the labels so they're all facing out. She even had a couple "boyfriends" during this time who she would have over for dinner dates and such and to my knowledge she wasn't putting out. I would often leave the bar, knock it out, and go back to finish the night out. ****ing weird.

...I should add there were Thursdays where biology killed the mood. I'm not into that shit and apparently neither was she.

LMAO That is fantastic.

Another reason never to waste time with women: they'll use you for dinner dates and shit while banging someone else.

UsainBoltSquid.gif

People in general do shady shit like that. It's not just chicks.

The idea is to be the guy that's doing the banging, not the one getting used.

You sound like you're about to turn gay, by the way.

"Yeahhh. I don't think I'm going to waste my time on women anymore." That's just the first step in your journey to anal Pound Town with Steve, bro.

I'm just biding time until I have enough money to hire escorts.

The worst piece of ass I ever had was still wonderful.

I'd hardly consider it wasting time.

I don't think it works that way. At least, 7 years without any relationship shenanigans hasn't turned me gay. Maybe the copious amounts of porn sustains my basic hetersexuality.

How often do you fools bang it out without a rubber?

About 60% of the time when I actually got laid

Can you stop asking cringe-worthy questions?

Let's hear a discuss penthouse story!

No penthouse writer would ever fess up to having multi-year cold streaks, brah.

It's a boring Thursday. Tell us a story.

Really not much of a story... First girl was just the tip in the back of my truck a few blocks from here mother and machete-wielding Peruvian step dad's house and I hadn't thought to purchase prophylactics.

Second girl was in college that apparently had a curse associated with her dating back to HS... nailed her two or three times then avoided her because I got enough harassment from people who knew her that she was insane and probably disease ridden.

Third girl was my last GF and the first I actually used a rubber with even though she was on the pill. I guess the lowlight here is when I took a trojan off because it was too tight and just threw it on the floor the last year I lived in the fraternity house. Forgot it was there until a fratbro saw it on the floor while we were playing MLB The Show; he decided to snag it with a clothes hanger and paraded it around the house saying "Hey, Discuss Thrower finally got laid!"

Fourth girl I tried to get one on after we got started but I guess it shrank in the packaging because it hurt like a mother****er and just told her I'd get her Plan B in the morning. She then insisted that that wasn't necessary and that she swallowed.

Fun fact: the last three girls were all in the same sorority :facepalm:

You're not supposed to pull it over your nutsack too. Probably the problem....

But how else are my jewels gonna avoid teh crabs?!

Make him wash his ass...

See u have had at least 4 sexual partners.

5 if you count that sweaty romp with Clay in the back seat of the Suburban.

FYP

So, that's at least 5...and that's without a kick of confidence. Can't be that bad.

The number of sexual partners is correlated with decreased levels of confidence with chicks, the attractiveness of said women and juxtaposed with an increased levels of self-awareness and social anxiety. Also,a logarithmic increase of alcohol imbibing which has just recently plateaued.

As Todd Haley would probably say, my arrow is not pointing up.

only once. chick was a 10. i couldn't pass it up lol
she was the one who liked a toy in the backdoor.

As soon as you stop being a pathetic 32 year old loser.

Did you get tested?

Yeah..I'm not getting a q-tip shoved up my urethra. That's an exit-only orifice, hombre.

By your own account you raw dogged a diseased women lol

Just so you know the diseases cured by penicillin and not usually a serious issue are also the one's most likely to cause cancer.

In you and whomever you pass it on to.

Just saying.

And yes, I've had the flaming Q-tip of death shoved up me more than once.

I'd like to say love lead to my marriage but that's...probably a little...less than true.

looking back at the 10 i had...I totally should've tried more freaky shit with that chick.
I'm 90% sure she would've been down for anything.

Gonna have to chime in here. Got tested a few months back and they test everything now with blood and urine. Nothing goes into your peehole.

That's not how things work in the boondocks that is the SWMO.

wait a minute.....I went in for a fever and he put a swab up my wiener hole.
.....so you're saying this isn't normal?

Billay vs. Zarth round 40!

In a dating thread?

That's like Neil Smith Vs. Paris Hilton in celebrity Jeopardy...

ROFL

That might be the funniest thing I've ever read.

"I'll take Ape Tit for $500"

Remind me again why Neil Smith's on the Arrowhead Ring of Honor?

:#

There can only be one

I'm not saying Clay looks like the guy from the first Highlander film...but...

He does. Exact same Manning-head...

You seemed threatened by Clay.

Tell us a story billay

these pain meds make me wanna ****

ROFL Back at it Zarth?

Absolutely not. Still taking a break.

Just thought that was funny.

[QUOTE Count Zarth;10646089]Absolutely not. Still taking a break.

Just thought that was funny.[/QUOTE]

I have two I have been seeing. Still browsing for more though.

Be careful or you'll message one of their friends.

Shit I was seeing sisters once ROFL That ended quick!

Background: I'm having surgery on my nose later today and then leaving for a week and a half beginning next Wednesday.

I "liked" a picture on a girl's profile so that I could tag her for when I get back (since the site keeps a record of that sort of stuff), but she saw that I liked her and winked at me in return. I like this girl's profile enough that I'd like to meet her some time, but the timing is wrong. Unfortunately, the line of communication is already open. Even if I'm in good condition by early next week, I'm not sure that I would want to go on a first date and then immediately be gone for so long.

What's the correct etiquette here? Do I tell her that I'd like to meet her, but can't do so for over two weeks? That seems like a bit too far ahead to plan what is essentially a blind date.

Either way, lesson learned: in the future, write her username down on a notepad or something rather than doing something she can see.

Just message her, and do that for about a week and just see if she keeps responding, and then by that time tell her you'd like to see her that next weekend which would be two weeks from now when you are back in town. Easy.

A guy I know who met his wife on OKCupid I think said he just messaged his future wife for like a month before they finally met. So taking it easy/slow can lead to success.

With regards to the timing of it I think you did it right because you got a wink back, and maybe had you waited and hesitated on it she'd of already got picked up.

Communication. Get to know her a bit through emails. Let her know you are interested, but are a busy man and won't be able to meet till you are back in town. Most likely she will add you to her rotation ROFL

Message for a week, then tell her you are going out of town for a week.

Or just tell her that you are getting surgery and don't want her to see you when you look like a twisted freak.

Weekend in St. Louis!

Me too! What are you doing there?

Me three!

Do you live there or are you visiting?

I once went out with an older woman off of pof, she was gorgeous. A few days later I messaged this 19 year old that ended up being the ladies daughter that sucked.

We're going to head to Ballpark Village Saturday night. Sunday is unplanned as of right now. Monday, we will be going to the Cardinals/Yankees game. SUPER excited!

Have fun! I'm going with my wife and daughter to see an Eels concert tonight that I've been looking forward to for a couple of months now.