That's nice and all I'll keep my mane.

Stop being such a pussy Mecca. Kerry King went bald and I bet he still gets booty.

No... I just can't grow facial hair.

Why do you ask?

It was a joke based on people talking about my hair.

That's a shame. Chicks dig beards. And long hair. No kidding actually. Also, learn to play the guitar. Electric. And go buy a motorcycle.

My college roommate (one of them) was a skinny, malnourished slob. But he played bass guitar and had this amazingly long, naturally wavy hair. He wasn't all that good looking and couldn't have weighed more than 140 lbs. soaking wet, but I've never seen a guy get so much action.

This is going to seep back into a thread about owning a bike isn't it?

I've heard somewhere that chicks dig guys with bikes.

I play guitar, but I suck at it. You have to play the nice happy stuff for chicks to like it. I'm into the type of music women don't like, like Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Deftones, and System of a Down... And playing guitar only works when you're good. I suck, and can't sing either. No one will ever hear me playing guitar. :-)

If you get an acoustic guitar and start singing with it you're right, you will get women. But I have my standards. I can't stand acoustic rock. The only people who can get away with that are Bob Dylan and Neil Young.

Motorcycle... yeah, I want one of those. I want a Kawasaki Ninja 250. I would probably kill myself on anything more, cause I like to drive WAY too fast for something like a 600.

You're suppose to get a nice bike not a crotch rocket.

Dude! You are half way there. Go a little more poppy with your rock and you are money! Something like Nickleback and you are gold. Electric gets way more ass than acoustic. I don't know how many coeds are into Opeth and Children of Bodom. Not much I would think.

No. I want to go fast and practically get my bike parallel to the ground going around corners... Roadsters are NOT for me.

Nickelback makes me throw up. Has ever since I heard Hero...

I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!

Here you go son. This will guarantee you ass - boy band, Oasis when they were popular level ass. And Mecca will approve.

www.confederate.com/confederate3/fighter.php

I'm sorry, but co-eds just don't give it up for Dimmu Borgir. You are going to have to suck it up and make the sacrifice. Either that or go Indy. Start learning some Animal Collective tunes in case power pop doesn't work out.

So much for being myself... :-(

I hear you though. Thanks for the advice. Now if I could only improve my social skills...lol!

Have you watched that show "The Wingman" on FLN (Fine Living Network)? Kind of silly, but it might point you in the right direction. Give you a couple of ideas to wrap your head around. I was watching it while I was running on the treadmill at the gym tonight and there were a couple of things that made me nod my head in agreement.

:-) Thanks.

I left in an attempt to get my boyfriend to make love to the tunes of Travis Tritt.

We ended up doing it to Slipknot, Five Finger Death Punch, and Puddle of Mudd.

He's so romantic.

Muddle of Pudd?

I was obviously hot enough to have an effect on you........score! :)

Give keg some credit, babe.
His winking helped too.

Trust issues much???

so all this time you were banging a married chick and she said she wasnt married?

heres a penny for your thoughts...all those times she said she was "really wet" before you ate her out...you were getting the leftovers from her husband

:Lin:

Actually I understand women almost perfectly. Course I have more years under my belt than most on here but I do have most of them figured out and when you get it, its actually pretty simple.

Man I'm sad I wasn't in on the last bit of this thread.

I've missed you since about post 364

what are you talking about..?

It turned strangely weird when you disappeared from it though....I thought perhaps fire engine red nail polish and politely pink lipstick were going to become part of the conversation.

You should take it back to the winking ass hole part....that's when I really thought they were starting to "get" women.

I think we've all known for years that if there was anybody on the planet who gets women, it's me...

I've been trying to figure myself out for just over 32 years. Care to give me some insight?

My friend's got a girlfriend
Man he hates that bitch
He tells me every day
He says "man I really gotta lose my chick
In the worst kind of way"

She sits on her ass
He works his hands to the bone
To give her money every payday
But she wants more dinero just to stay at home
Well my friend
You gotta say

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
na-na, Why don't you get a job?
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
na-na, why don't you get a job?

I guess all his money, well it isn't enough
To keep her bill collectors at bay
I guess all his money, well it isn't enough
Cause that girl's got expensive taste

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
na-na, Why don't you get a job?
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
na-na, why don't you get a job?

Well I guess it ain't easy doing nothing at all, oh yeah
But hey man free rides just don't come along
every day

(Let me tell you about my other friend now!)

My friend's got a boyfriend, man she hates that dick
She tells me every day
He wants more dinero just to stay at home
Well my friend
You gotta say

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
na-na, Why don't you get a job?
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
na-na, why don't you get a job?

I won't give you no money, I always pay
na-na, Why don't you get a job?
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
na-na, Why don't you get a job?

The thread author needs to change his username, because he's giving us real Dudes a bad rep.

Ok, I start out all alone
`Cause my baby mama left me
Now there's nobody at home
Beginning to feel like Ms. Jackson done got cloned!
Well it's some real shit and I'm lving it through this song!
A moving vehicle took my family
As I slept out on the sofa in the Boom Boom Room
I woke up very upset!
I throw the covers back and peek out of the draperies
My daughter, my baby, my baby mama all escaping me!
In the wind, she was my friend
Like Princess Di before she died
Therefore we tried and tried again
But in the end you pay attention to the pluses
But the minuses behind make it seem like you can't win!

Round two, a single parent, what is Big to do?
Throw a parrty? Not hardly!! i'm trying to stay up outta that womb!!
Or that p-u-s-s uss! I said uss!
Luther Vandross couldn't make a home out of this house that we smooshed
Smashed, pushed to the limit! Smash and turned it timid!
Hell everyone was suffering, the house was feeling wicked hell
The cat got sold, the dog got old, the food got cold!
Both of our tempers were on swolle
For the most most part you fuss, fight, fart!
You build it up to break it down and now take it from the start
Repeatedly leading a path that only ends in a clash
Of two stubborn minds, grown folks blind to the sign!

K-O, knocked out by technicality
The love has kissed the canvas
Now the whole family is mad at me
My daughter don't want me at her PTA meetings
And then my son he can't talk, when I change him he's peeing
I think he's pissed!
I can't dismiss the matter of the fact because he saw you and me argue
Now the energy is coming back
Set an example, a positive pattern, keep life on track
But I'm married to the music and committed to the wax, taste and tea
Baby please, you make me want to scream!
You're on my team starting first string so why are we arguing?

So many horrible thoughts...I can't even imagine the awkwardness of *shudders* making love to Travis Tritt tunes, let alone Slipknot. (Although, my ex-wife used to just get insanely horny whenever I played Soundgarden...)

Yeah she did.

Oh wait, out loud. Sorry.

Funny.

Seriously.

Make me chuckle.

It was happenstance. His playlist was playing at the time. Although, Slipknot makes me giggle and shake my head.

But so does everyone else that does meth and goes running through corn fields... They hurt! Something I had no idea about growing up in Hollywood. In movies corn rows are always wide and you can easily hang out with 3 of your favorite friends or mobsters. They aren't really that wide when you're running through them.

What the hell were we talking about?

Understanding women in all of our simplicity.

You're going to get some wishy washy answer about how we need to be loved and cherished and appreciated and we need to love, cherish, and appreciate, for us to be totally fulfilled and happy in life.

Or maybe not because he'll read my post and know that I'm mocking him.

hmm.

I predict a way over the top analytically wrong response or humor.

I don't know. Something about the Children of the Corn smoking meth, listening to Meshuggah while watching Keg do Mecca's ex.

That's wishy-washy? No wonder I can't get laid anymore. I'm putting the *winces* pussy on a pedestal. (Sorry Ladies about using the "p" word. I know I should just save that one for drunk pillow talk rather than using it publicly in the afternoon.)

That's hot.

Jesus, you are really turning me on!

*demonpenz careful undoes his belt to feel his 5 inches of glory)

LMAO

What are we talking about again?

whatever, pussy

Apparently Demonpenz's five inches of glory

Keg's ass winking

Kati's obsession with Mecca and/or Travis Tritt

and

Saccogoo's fascination with the children of the corn

penz has laid a mile of pipe in his day.

Tough work when you're doing it 4 inches at a time.

I dunno Luv, I thought it was funny.

I think I would have jumped on to say "hell?"

But either way... GO WITH IT GIRL.

I think Luv needs our encouragement.

Besides, pussy has been on a pedastal since we figured out what pussy does. We don't need him to put it there.

I should have responded sooner. Then she would have been commited.

I mean, they hung out, they're cool. It was a funny joke.

IF YOU WERE ANY KIND OF FRIEND, JILLY...

wow, this thread has seen every spectrum of WTF today

You could see why he does it...I mean, shit, I'd put my own pussy on a pedastal if it wouldn't make me have to walk with my hands. I have horrible balance

:spank:

Holy hell, the visual is great tho.

someone break up the ya-ya sisterhood in this thread please.

LMAO

It's just been a rough day.

oh go on and act like you're not loving it.... you or your 5 in penis

Burp. Scratch. Scratch.
Pound beers. Pound bitches!
You'll be straight, MAN!
Fart.

5 inch penis? Wtf? My pants are size 38 but my squeezed into 44. thats what I was talking about Is that all girls think of is cock?

But size doesn't matter. ;)

yes

If you have enough fingers.

The joy luck ya-ya sisterhood thread

HEY KATI - go fetch me turkey pot pie, woman

I got introduced to chocolate martinis last night. One glass of wine, one chocolate martini, and a beer. Quite eclectic. I felt so cultured.

Generally, and even more so when we drink.

Yeah pretty much sad to say...

Girls get upset when you use more than 3.

Penz, you should add a story about this to your life lessons thread.

I'd say toys. Go with toys here. Girth counts for something.

I'm sleeping with your best friend and he has a way bigger dick.

I'll bet you've given a shocker.

And know the right motions with them... OK I've got to reel myself back in must... resist... Whew!!

Hey! I'm glad to see you! You were going to tell me how to figure myself out.

haahahah. You're not supposed to mix.

I don't know how cultured chocolate martinis are but I bet you looked cute drinking it.

shit man, ah dude, that's okay..he's a whore anyway.

At first, I read "figure" as "finger."