Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins
(Post 11637759)
You all have a case of envious butthurt by which all other butthurt should be measured. It’s the Muta Scale.
#1) No Cardinal fan brought up the Cardinals in this thread without some bitchmade Royal fan bringing them up. You know why? Because the Cardinals aren’t relevant to the discussion. Rather, we are dispassionate about your team. When we say that you all are acting like a bunch of ****ing punks, it’s not the word of God because we’re Cardinal fans, it’s the opinion of the rest of baseball. You all just want it to be an example of Cardinal fans acting superior because you’re so goddamned jealous of them, when the reality is that the Royals are just being assholes. You all have convinced yourselves that Cardinals fans are something they’re not because you need to invent a narrative to hate them beyond the fact that they are simply a better franchise than the Royals. Thus, you nitpick on the fans, because you can’t do it on the on-field results. And now, like Vanderbilt fans, you’re talking about the success of the AL in interleague, as if that somehow means your team wasn’t a pile of shit for three decades, and that there is no way that the Cardinals could have been successful in the AL.
#2) Don’t worry, I’m sure that you all are just being persecuted because you had one successful year in a morass of ineptitude. That must be why the Texas Rangers started getting in fights with everyone in 2011 and why the Pirates threw down five times in 2014. Oh, wait—that didn’t happen? Hmm. Wonder why? And in a feeble and stupid attempt to discredit the Cardinals, you end up dragging up examples stretching across several years (some of them completely invented, like our supposed dustups with the Pirates). Did you ever think that if you need to go back three Congresses to find enough paired examples as your team has had in four months that maybe you all are the ones with a ****ing problem?
“You know John, that woman is 65 years old, she’s slept with 20 men over the course of her life. That’s the same as the 16 year old who has slept with 20, right?”
#3) Let’s just say that the HBP numbers are meaningful (they aren’t). Why have you had more dustups than anyone else in baseball this year, including teams #1 and #2 in said standings?
#4) A few weeks ago I was standing in line in the grocery store. Behind me were two guys with less than fifteen teeth combined, talking about how stupid people with college degrees were. I thought to myself, “well, if I’m so stupid compared to you, why have I mastered oral hygiene while you’re gumming corn on the cob?” You ****s sound exactly like those two dumbasses when talking about us showing our ass in this thread. It doesn’t have to be based in truth; it’s true because you can make a baseless claim and have it bounce about the echo chamber, where you’re right because you’re right and no amount of evidence means anything. Perhaps you all should set up a Royals Holocaust museum, where your years of persecution can be compared to the greatest crimes in human history. It should fit in perfectly inside an annex in the Creationism Museum, both even have the same amount of proof.
#5) If watching the games means so much, how can so many of you be so consistently wrong about so much? Too many of you have been infected by Hootie strains of dumb****ery: invent a narrative, cherry pick stats, ignore any evidence to the contrary.
A lot of you are better than this.
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