I request wisdom from the planet gods at this time...

I'm gonna be transferring out to CoMo to start school at M-I-Z...

There's a problem.

This girl at work, one which I've made it fairly obvious I like, always finds excuses not to go out to eat with me.

We've been friends for a year now(pretty close).

I have feelings for her.

How do I say good-bye?

PIIHB is out of the question.

A year??

She gives no ****s, you shouldn't either.

Blow it on her face.

If she hasn't reciprocated then she doesn't see you the same way.

Be cordial and say goodbye the same way you'd part from your grandmother.

Now months down the line you can make a token appearance and meet up with the girl again. If you've done things that make you a different person in a positive way than you are now, she might be intrigued AND also comfortable enough with you so she will be more than willing to have her cervix abused by your meatstick.

She's not going to change her mind about you because you are leaving. She'll find some other dude to boost her ego.

..... And by "boost her ego" he means **** her brains out.

Sorry, hombre.

Never read through this thread (Although it should be locked. MODS!) But I'd date a fat chick if I was single. Although I'm not. And She's not fat. At all. And I'm a nice guy. Yet slightly racist if that's ok.

That's my bio.

You are in the center of the friend zone

how are you 'pretty close' friends if she never 'goes out to eat with you'? (which I assume means you never hang out outside of work.)

If she's just friendly with you at work but never wants to do anything outside of work that means she's just a nice person with no interest in you whatsoever. Not as a friend, not as a girlfriend.

Such is life.

I don't get how all the young guys meet people other than at a bar. I'm 29, and I literally can't remember the last time I met a girl somewhere other than a bar. That's not a slight on anyone, and I probably drink too much...but even when I used to bang a bunch of coworkers I always had them meet me at a bar first.

I think I have commitment issues.

Falling in love with Damon Huard will do that to you

This

I tried online dating sites. Alcoholic whores > women with baggage.

Ive been talking to this girl for awhile we hungout the other day she was a total whore. She kept talking about her ex and all the guys shes ****ed.

It would be a lot easier to cut her off if she didnt text me everyday.

this never happened

Just like you losing your virginity Clayton

I'm serious. I don't think you've ever posted one true fact in this thread.

Yeah Clayton Wendler the 30 something year old virgin knows everything.

This isn't about me, son. Stop deflecting.

Why are you frustrated with women?

Because I take your advice and they are illogical

Welp, I got called out on facebook for having a Tinder account. That was embarrassing.

Sweet "friends" ya got there, brosephine.

It was a girl asking why I didn't swipe right on her account because she apparently swiped right on mine.

Everyone tells me to stay away from the dating sites. I tell them to set me up with someone. "Oh, no. I can't do that. I don't want you to hold me responsible if it doesn't work out." Then quit telling me what the **** to do.

This is only slightly more annoying than those who act really happy for you while you're seeing someone, and then tell you that they noticed red flags AFTER you break up.

What's the most annoying thing? It's the same damn people that do both.

What happened to that guy you were dating?

Dated a couple of guys this summer. Didn't work out.

If you two were not such dorks you probably wouldn't be virgins.

Here is some advice. Stop trying to figure out "chicks". It will never happen. And if you actually DID somehow figure them out, you still wouldn't get laid because you're a ****ing dork.

What's the secret? Devote your efforts to figuring out how not to be a dork, and the pussy will just flow naturally.

Back in the old days, if you had a guitar and could play and sing the first half of "Stairway To Heaven", you couldn't keep the pussy off of you.

I don't know if "chicks" dig musicians anymore, but what the heck? Forget about all the weirdo shit and learn how to play guitar.

Dinny

I've got a hot date tonight with this gal I've had a crush on for like 3 years.

Giddy

Was probably asking about the best boyfriend ever. Turn out to be a phony?

Yeah, that's on you.

So how did you finally make your move?

LMAO

3 years and not friend zoned? Interesting.

She was a barkeep at this bar I used to hang out at. I'd always flirt with her and make small talk.. But was too much of a vag to ask her out. I lost touch with her and hadn't seen her in ages. Well, I get a random FB friend request from her (we have like two mutual friends) so we aren't in the same social circle. I just started chatting with her on there and eventually told her I liked her and asked her out for dinner.

Pretty easy stuff

We weren't really friends. She though I was good looking but I never asked her out.

Not-so-long long story that I'm not getting into.

Uh.. Why didnt you?

You don't have the luxury of being picky.

Because it would be "awkward" or "creepy"

Creepy? If you swiped right and she didn't she would have never known unless you said something.

You ****ed up. You done goofed.

Everyone has the luxury of being picky. Never settle.

No one knew i was on it until she posted the fact on FB.

I have been single a little while. My ex-gf pleaded with me to change my mind about dumping her, but I didn't and I sent her packing. Now I miss her so ****ing much.

Stupid human brain.

Who cares? You are a single guy....spread your seed

Double standards for dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyys.

The chick wanted your cock brah....what was wrong with her?

You guys ever do the lemon test? It could really save your ass.

Before you leave the bar ask for a couple of lemons. Before you put your hand down the girl's pants squeeze a lemon. If she jumps or screams it's because that lemon juice got into STD sores and burned.

Just a good trick of the trade I figured I'd pass along.

LMAO

I have a girlfriend.

I do think billay makes up every little thing he posts in this thread, though.

Did you break up with that guy?

I bet your girlfriend is ugly.

Billay, can I read your dating site profile? I would like to help you.

If she did she would have let me know about nine months ago.