Excellent work in this thread.

Yes both daughters are in constant contact since it all blew up, and I had to make my oldest daughter call her mom, I told her not to take sides.

You know Luv, I knew she just could not get over both girls gone and working in other states.But this I had no idea

Monk, I am so sorry. I feel your pain. I'm 47 and basically just went through the same thing. Only my daughters are still little going through it. When they leave you like that they've been plotting it for a while and they screw you over while you are staggered. I was still taking care of her because that was my job for so long I couldn't stop even while she was divorcing me. I got taken pretty bad but on some level I did it to spare my girls the scorched earth hell she would have caused with a long court battle. It wasn't worth the money to have that trauma. They are messed up enough as it is. But 2 years later I'm close to bankruptcy and still very stunned the life I had is gone. So I go on to message board and get into fights

Its a long process. Divorce, especially when you didn't want it, is like a bomb going off in the middle of your life. It effects everything. Friends, money, kids, everything. I think its right up there with a death of a spouse because at least you have that persons love in your heart. With divorce that person has rejected you they are gone forever.
But you are not alone, it does get better, and after a while there is another plan for us, something we can't even imagine. Hang in there, keep talking about it, do protect yourself, and by all means talk to as many people who have been through it as you can. There is help and support out there.
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If she stayed home how is she entitled to 50/50?:cuss:

I don't know what to say,I am overwhelmed by your kindess

Then I say you'll come out to the good. The relationship with the daughters is far more important than the relationship with the wife.

Easy for me to say, of course. I'm sure you're very hurt by your wife's actions. But time heals all wounds, etc., and you're better off to not be living with a woman who would do something like that to you.

Sorry to hear it Monk. I've seen how rough this can be on a man.

I think you best revenge will be a year from now, when you're in better shape, sporting a new haircut, a girlfriend half her age and twice as hot.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you did anything wrong. I just find it hard to believe anyone could be that cold (yes guys, even women).

And women at this age are a depreciating asset (looks) and men are pretty much unchanged (status).

Does she have a good friend? A lady she was always just a little jealous of? A "rival" in her bowling league/church group/soccer mom?

Find that lady, and make her belly sticky.

Thank you so very much. I am so sorry about your situation, After I read your post I could not help but thank God at least the girls are raised and out of college and making their way . I don't know what my my reaction would have been if they were still at home when this happened

I like the way you think and yes I may just do that

I admire the way you think. Great idea.

Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next day. But someday.....

These guys may be worth a call: Cordell and Cordell http://www.cordellcordell.com They specialize in representing men in divorce proceedings. Austin did a good job of outlining CO state law for you and if you lawyer hasn't done this it's further evidence you need to get a second opinion. Don't let the surprise of this leave you walking blindly through the divorce and financially screwed in the end. You worked hard for what you have and this is not your fault. Fight for what you've earned so you don't have to do it all over again. Good luck!