Highschool is where it gets a little crazy.

She will be around 18 year old young men with bad intentions. She will also be "competing" for attention with little Susie slut mouth, and will get her feelings hurt when she doesn't put out for the pimple faced asshole.

Lots of pressures will be on her, but trusting her dad, and knowing her dad trusts her is paramount for heading into this phase of life.

If you were 13, and if your father/mother said the same thing to you, then how are you going to find yourself? How are you going to explore the other side of the gender? I'm not referring to sexually, but more of communication.

I think she is wanting to grow into as an adult, but when rules establish like no boys, it only frusterates her growth. And possibly the trust between you two.

Unless you want her to be like Claythan, then, well, more power to you.

Nah... that's over doing it.
I guess it boils down to, starting to let her fly and spread her wings.
Just hope no "oopses" pop up in the process.

We'll talk and get an feeling for where things are going.

I have a 12 y/o daughter, and we gave her a cell phone for Christmas. I wouldn't recommend taking the phone away for good for a couple of reasons: 1) it was a gift, 2) since you let her go out with her friends, it will always provide you a way to contact her whenever you want- one of our conditions on our daughter having the phone was that she answer it whenever we call, and 3) a cell phone for a teen (or tween) daughter is the best leverage you will ever have in terms of discipline/consequences for bad behavior. Being grounded from the phone is worse than being grounded and not being able to go outside; you permanantly get rid of the phone and that option goes out the window quickly. The phone (and the possibility of losing access to it for periods of time) is a great way to modify t(w)een behavior.

I really don't think that your daughter has done anything really out of line for her age (I know it still drives you ape shit; it does me too). As a parent, it is important to have a continued and ongoing conversation about how important it is to respect our bodies, and what the consequences are if we don't do that, especially in this day and age. She probably knows the "nuts and bolts" of sex, but there is no way that she can possibly understand the implications and impacts of sex or presexual behavior. Make sure that she understands that she has ownership over her body, that it is more precious than anything any boy can offer her and to not give it up lightly. Also, make sure she understands that you want to meet any and every boy that she dates or spends time with; set clear understandings, boundaries and expectations with her.

You have to let her grow, but you don't have to let her grow up in one day, one week, one month or even one year; it is an ongoing process.

Good luck, those of us with daughters need it.

Dude... STFU! I don't want to know that's ahead.
That's where I think Wifey is going to come in HUGE.
Good thing is... next year is an all freshman school.
10-12 is HS.

I'm sure you will do fine dude. You are a great father, much better than you probably give yourself credit for. You love her. She knows you love her. The fact that you are so concerned will come across and no girl really wants to let down a father like that. Best of luck to you brother.

There's nothing she needs to talk with guys about over the phone right now. She can explore the other sex next year. She's not missing out on anything. She talks to the lil fuggers all day before, during and after school since she's in every activity known to man.

Make no mistake, she's a popular social butterfly. Not one of those kids in one of those shells.

You need a progression.

At this age, I'd say talking to boys is okay. School dances are okay. You are allowing normal interaction without too much opportunity for things to go too far. Yes she will probably do somethings you aren't comfortable with. All kids do.

Dating would be out for me until she was at least 15. You also want to limit times when she could be alone with a guy. Once her and her boyfriends have cars there is very little you can do except trust the upbringing you've given her. It is pretty much out of your control at that point. You could insist that she only go out with groups of friends, but if she wants to lie, that is easy enough to work around.

It's tough, I know.

Nip it in the bud. Do NOT let her start down that road at 13 Next she will be showing hiem way more than that.

Make yer give you her phone before she goes to bed and that you give it to her in the morning


OUr kid was caught texting all hours of the night and not sleeping

Great advice. Exactly what I'm looking for also. Why do I need to know/meet every lil fugger she dates? Isn't that one of those situations where "the guy she really likes" meets the parents? Not every Tom Dick and Hairy that's ultimately trying to do only one thing... Get in her pants!

That is so huge man. 13/14 year olds do NOT need to be hanging out with 18 year olds. That's a crime begging to be committed.

But my point was.... as bad as it is... you NEED to know what's ahead, or at least what could be ahead. Putting your head in the sand is only going to bite you in the ass.

But more than you needing to know whats ahead, she needs some idea so that she can tell whats an "okay" situation and whats a "not okay" situation.

How proud would you be if she said, "dad, this guy who pretended to like me said exactly what you told me he was going to! And i thought of what you said, and I told him to kick rocks!"

She does all that. I'm sorry... you guys misunderstand... I mean "no boys" concerning the phone. No talking, texting, communications with boys with THAT phone nor the house phone.

What is your reasoning on no phone talking? Maybe there is something I'm missing about this. I could see where if she did it for hours a day that could be a problem. But what about a half-an-hour a day?

It lets her know that you are interested in her life no matter what. When she is out on her own and making all of her own decisions, she will bring "the guy she really likes" to meet the parents. Until that time, while she is under your roof, I think you owe it to her (and yourself) to know the people she is hanging out with- male or female.

Meeting the boy also sends a message to him- you screw up and you will have to deal with me. Make sure he understands that you expect him to respect your daughter (whether you express that verbally or not).