Yuuuuup.

Lol still going in as an EDGE in the OP :D

The Tennessee Titans select Jerome Ford, RB, Cincinnati

King Henry needs a prince as the cracks in the kings armor might be starting to show.

Some really good LB depth here

Jerry Jones returns to the stage, eyes bulging open, spittle flying from his mouth:

“He’s a defensive end, you mealy mouthed little homers. Defensive. End. Get out of here with your new-fangled, made up terms!!!!!!!!!!!!”

A gorilla ambles toward the microphone.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2708/...0d8f14e12a.jpg

But wait! That's not a real gorilla. It's Milwaukee-born 1940s stunt man Crash Corrigan in one of his many gorilla suits.

https://c1.iggcdn.com/indiegogo-medi...p4cyogcvin.jpg

"You're probably accustomed to seeing me fighting Flash Gordon," he says.

https://live.staticflickr.com/4027/4...f59abe11df.jpg

"Or maybe carrying off a woman to engage in some reverse bestiality."

https://talesuntold.net/wp-content/u.../corrigan3.png

"But did you know that I was also on a Wheaties box?"

https://www.hakes.com/Image/MediumRes/68507/2/image.jpg

"We'll hope that the newest Packer also finds his way onto a Wheaties box, and we think he has a good chance."

The Green Bay Packers select Verone McKinley III, S, Oregon.

After that announcement, Crash puts his gorilla head back on and beats an NFL production assistant to death with a club.

https://dcairns.files.wordpress.com/...0011.jpg?w=450

Asshole

Yeah, when they were talking about the WRs they'd take for the Chiefs I 'bout said "The guy I would take for the Chiefs will NOT make it to the Chiefs because I'm taking him w/ TB..."

Donovan Smith is really on a 1-year deal and Whirfs had some injury issues. Ideally I'd have found a high ceiling interior lineman here but really, Walker has more than enough power to move inside to G at least temporarily. He plays with his pads a tick high but that's because he's just a very large man. 6'6" is conventionally pretty damn tall for a G but we're seeing more and more tall Gs in the game.

There were two guys, maybe 3, on the board right now that I see as genuine 3rd round caliber players and Walker was just the best fit for the Bucs.

I haven't had too many tough choices yet to make and ultimately this one wasn't too hard either. Felt like this was an obvious pick (and really one that I felt like GB should've made there).

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/2cemcQawhMH99NEg2U" width="480" height="480" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/hyperrpg-game-funny-2cemcQawhMH99NEg2U">via GIPHY</a></p>

Bengals keep adding OL.

Cincinnati Bengals select Cordell Volson, Offensive Tackle, North Dakota State.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">North Dakota St. OL Cordell Volson has been one of the biggest winners at the <a href="https://twitter.com/ShrineBowl?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@ShrineBowl</a> so far. Plays with aggression and has such a strong frame.<br><br>Allowed just 15 pressures (no sacks) across 974 pass-block snaps playing mostly tackle at NDSU. <a href="https://t.co/XVONY0evYu">pic.twitter.com/XVONY0evYu</a></p>&mdash; Anthony Treash (@PFF_Anthony) <a href="https://twitter.com/PFF_Anthony/status/1488337608681816064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 1, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

I like that pick.

I really like him and couldn't pass it up since I don't pick for a bit. I regret not taking a WR at all but here we are.

He’s a guy that I’d be okay with them grabbing if they took 2 DEs in the draft.

One of the reasons I hammered so hard against taking a LB in round 1. It just limits your ability to get all the positions you need to address checked off the box.

Without a trade down to acquire more picks, if you go LB in rounds 1-4, you're only drafting 3 from the prime DL, DB, WR group. And it gets really hard to double up on the DL.

I know you're high on Lloyd and see him being a force as a blitzer, a la Devin White. It just handcuffs what you can do as the Chiefs sans trade downs for more picks at critical spots.

:bravo:

The Pittsburgh Steelers select Erik Ezukanma, WR, Texas Tech

I really needed a LT here, but Rasheed Walker was the last guy I felt could potentially step in at that position this season... Thus I'm punting on that as a draft need as I waited to long. I really didn't want to take a QB for the Steelers but couldn't pass up Coral in the late 2nd. I genuinely think the Steelers focus on rebuilding their OL early in the draft this year and then draft QB next year. Their FA strategy has only reinforced this.

I think the Steelers will focus on finding a slot WR in the draft to replace JuJu. EZ isn't that player... But I think he's got too much upside to pass up. The Steelers will sort it out in camo to get him, Claypool, and DJ on the field together.

There goes the WR I was talking about.

I've watched every single one of EZ's college snaps and most of his senior year of high school. He's a 2nd round talent that has suffered due to poor coaching, poor QB play, and being the sole focus of opposing defenses (double sometimes triple teamed in coverage). Pretty good measurables and great football IQ. Some team is going to get an absolute steal with him (biased opinion).

Some of you will remember me poo-poo'ing TJ Vasher last year. For as much as I hated TJ as an NFL prospect, I love EZ.

Yup, would’ve taken him at 103.

Figured that's who you all were talking about. I'm not a big fan of his.

BOOOO

I'm on the case. It looks like I've got 36 hours of thinking ahead of me.

I really like the Oklahoma kids in this class and Thomas is a good player and fit this late. There are a few things with him, the petty larceny and failure to appear on that a couple of years ago, the drunk driving last year, or I think he might get consideration a little higher. I like both him and Asamoah (LB) in the 3rd area.

He's a guy that is an okay stab though in the 4th. I don't think you take the guy earlier than that though. Lance Zierlein is definitely onto it with his routes lacking, but the rest of the package is there. If you're a team that thinks you can teach him to run routes, then you could have a really solid WR.

So I guess he was serious about it, eh?

Baltimore native Rick Ocasek of The Cars walks onto the stage and looks into the green room. He begins singing.

Who's gonna tell you when
It's your turn?
Who's gonna tell you things
Are so great?

You won't go on
Thinking something's wrong, but now
We're gonna drive you home
Tonight.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xuZA6qiJVfU" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

He pauses mid-song.

The Baltimore Ravens select Kalia Davis, DT, UCF.

And by the way, that video is pretty terrible. Are we supposed to believe that no one is going to pay attention to that woman? Even if she's completely crazy there'll be a line of guys just waiting to listen to her ramblings.

An elderly man comes onstage with an electric guitar. He wails off an epic riff.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...aul_live_3.jpg

"I'm Les Paul, Milwaukee native and the inventor of the solid-body electric guitar," he says. "Without me, your favorite song might not exist."

"I've brought you a lot of pleasure, and now I'll bring Packers fans and Aaron Rodgers some pleasure."

The Green Bay Packers select Joshua Ezeudu, G, North Carolina.

Les rips off another amazing guitar run, then exits Stage Left.

An attractive young woman in 19th-century dress walks onto the stage, her posture perfect and her bearing regal.

https://static.onecms.io/wp-content/...ofile-1890.jpg

"Good day, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Emily Post, and I'm a Baltimore native. I'm here today to discuss the proper way to announce a draft pick in the annual NFL Selection process."

First, we use bold letters to assure the reader of the importance of the topic. Second, we announce the name of the drafting team, followed by the full first and last name of the player being drafted, his playing position, and his college of attendance. Separate each item with a comma and present it as a complete sentence. I provide an example as follows:

The Baltimore Ravens select Aaron Hansford, OLB, Texas A&M.


And last but not least, one notifies the person with the next pick that he or she is on the board. This allows proper time for consideration of said pick, and keeps the process moving at an acceptable pace.

If you follow these rules, you will ensure a more pleasant process for the reader and will doubtless be invited to subsequent mock drafts in the future.

I've made my picks but I still want those additional 34 hours.

Killing it with Atlanta.

Sauce
Boye
Travis Jones
Tolbert
Cook

I’ve got 3 picks left, but I may have already won. :)

5th round is up!

Diiiiiiiiiiick

EDIT: Wait - maybe not dick. I had changed the top of my board and my top 2 guys for the Jets are still there. Though still - kindof a dick. I like Ruckert.

Maybe Tamba should have drafted a WR round 1 *cries into keyboard*

As frustrated as I am by that return, 50 is a really nice sweet spot for Williams.

So lets say you have a relatively 'standard' draft board.

Travis Jones, Andrew Booth and Sam Williams at 29, 30 and 50?

I mean that's a LOT to help get this defense right. Then you lean into your franchise QB to make some chicken salad out of our 3rd rounders where you can target WR a couple of times if you wanted to.

I wonder if they’re high on Dotson at 30.

I could see Jones, Dotson and Sam Williams with the first three picks. Grab a CB at the end of the second or in the third.

Can we restart the draft?

I swear I thought about you and Williams when I saw pick 50 LMAO

Give me a WR with one of those 3 picks.

The Denver Broncos select Pierre Strong, Jr., RB, South Dakota State

There's a ton of talent left on the board that I like here but none more than an electric RB that can step into an immediate 3rd down role at worst. He'd be a backup/split-carry guy behind Javonte Williams and replace Melvin Gordon in this scenario.

I really hope KC finds a way to get their hands on this kid.

Jets take Dohnovan West, G - Arizona State

Love this pick for the Jets. Very versatile interior lineman who can play C but is probably better suited to G. Could see him going as early as the 3rd but realistically he's a mid-late 4th rounder.

I haven't gotten an IOL yet because the board just never fell right but to get West here is a real nice pickup this late and gives me a heck of a developmental player to continue building up that OL.

I think I forgot to message got caught up with the Hill stuff.

'Bout took him for TB and figured I'd be sniping him from someone's board.

Man he checks a lot of boxes.

I’m for sure grabbing him in the 4th now if I’m the Chiefs.

On my way to pick up the kids. Will be a few hours on my pick.

NY Giants select Justin Shorter, WR, Florida.

At this point gambling on upside.

Sorry guys, Tyreek news had me slackin today.

Updated the OP.

Ryan Poles walks back onto the stage.

"With the 150th pick in the NFL draft..."

He stares off into the distance. His gaze comes across that of Jerry Jones, and their eyes meet. Poles looks down at a crumpled sticky note in his hand, then looks back up at Jones. Jones begins nodding maniacally and mouthing "Do it. Do it."

Poles takes a deep breath. "You know what? You know WHAT? Jerry Jones is RIGHT.

With the 150th pick in the NFL draft, the Chicago Bears select Jeffrey Gunter, DEFENSIVE END, Coastal Carolina.

Jones leaps to his feet, clapping furiously.

Poles throws down his sports coat. "EDGE" is a stupid made-up term, and I refuse to use it any more!!!! He's an END, baby. A defensive END. Don't you dare put him on that board as an EDGE, Roger Goodell. You mother****ing bitch. I'll end you as quickly and easily as my good friend Duncan Idaho ends a Sardaukar!

WHAT! WHAT!"

The sticky note falls out of his pocket. As he walks away, Gunter picks it up and sees, written there, "Defensive End. No matter what."

Nice EDGE selection there! ;)

The Atlanta Falcons select Jack Sanborn, LB, Wisc.

Gunter was my pick there..

Alright, so at the end of 3 I took Kenneth Walker and you snagged by boy Sean Rhyan for the Broncos.

Then I took your guy Rasheed Walker and you took my guy Pierre Strong.

So let’s say TB gives Denver a call and offers Kenneth and Rasheed Walker for Rhyan and Strong.

Would you take that deal?

So far that’s the only misstep I think I’ve made but getting Rasheed ‘fixed the glitch’ in my eyes.

I think it’s largely 6 in one hand, half dozen in the other.

Rasheed Walker wasn't my guy. However, tempting if I thought Denver needed a workhorse back but with Williams already there, I'd firmly decline given I think Rhyan is a much better RT prospect (that opinion, of course, varies wildly amongst pundits).

Ah, that's right, that was Kellerfox. I actually think Rhyan is a better G prospect than Walker, but I think Walker has a better chance of sticking and making an impact as a T. It makes them roughly equal as mid-round prospects in my eyes.

Well nevermind then. And yeah, I had the same thought you did - it probably wouldn't make sense for Denver because they have Williams and he and Walker would be very similar players whereas Strong is probably a better complement.

So while I think it's largely a wash for the Bucs (even with Fournette coming back), I think it's probably a step back for Denver.

One thing for Denver is they need a RT and a OG so a guy like Rhyan makes alot of sense for a team like them. Try the guy there and fail him inside.

The Dallas Cowboys select Jelani Woods, TE, Virginia.

Meanwhile, in hell, Al Davis - buried in a pool of hair gel and constantly being choked by oversized gold chain, has a brief moment of clarity and ALMOST smiles as another workout warrior gets drafted.

This brief moment of non-torment is quickly interrupted, however, when John Madden cannonballs into the tub of goo and smashes Davis to the bottom of it.

Minnesota Vikings select Adam Anderson, LB, Georgia

Yep, that's right. Guy has a rape investigation on him. We're going to roll the dice anyway that law enforcement clears him. Without this on his record, guy could have been a 1st round pick.

So apart from THAT, Mrs. Lincoln…

https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2...pjpg&auto=webp

Think they’ll put that on his football card?

DJ’s how early would you take Austin?

Up until the Tyreek trade, I hadn’t looked into the smaller WRs as much aside from a highlight reek. Diving in now and I think he’s the perfect fit. Especially after the MVS signing.

I’d puss out and take him at the back of 2.

I know I wouldn’t be willing to risk it. Oh I can play with draft simulators all day but there’s no harm if I get it wrong.

And ultimately if I take him at the back of 2 it still leaves a 3 for a guy like Tolbert or Pierce.

I can’t talk myself into 50 - that’s Sam Williams pick. But use that 62(ish) on him without blinking at this point.

That’s kinda where I’m at. I don’t trust that he makes it to 94.

Metchie and Austin on the board at 62, who are you taking?

This is your brand

A week ago - Metchie.

Today - Austin.

The Indianapolis Colts select Jake Ferguson, TE, Wiscy

Jim Irsay comments that he likes whiskey almost as much as pills before NFL security escorts him off the stage.

I have a really hard time getting excited about WRs under 5'10" but I definitely get his appeal. After all, Hill is 5' 8-1/8" and he's been amazing (although that's EXTREMELY rare, you can count sub-5'10" stars on one hand). Austin is 5'7-6/8" and also weighs 15 pounds less than Hill coming out (185 vs 170). He's a near carbon copy of Isaiah McKenzie, for good or bad.

It's not that I won't champion taking Austin but I wouldn't touch him earlier than the 3rd, and it's 100% about lack of size. In the NFL, everyone is fast and physical. He's going to struggle on the outside with press, no doubt. He already struggles mightily with something Hill was extremely good at, and that's competing in traffic for the football.

The two speed-merchant guys for me are Bo Melton and Danny Gray.
Melton: 5'11-0/8" 189 with a 4.34 40, 6.98 3C, 38" Vert, 10'1" Broad.
Gray: 5'11-7/8" 186 with a 4.33 40, 34" Vert, 10'6" Broad.

I especially like Melton, who wasn't going against the Nicholls State's and Tulsa's of the world every week and he had a shit QB but still put up respectable stats.

Gray is a guy I just like his physical profile a bit more and he had some talent there with him to split up some production (Reggie Robertson is going to get drafted too).