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Fish 06-10-2013 01:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9741485)
It's hard to believe you can be so gaga over her one week and then let a few bumps in the road like this derail the situation completely. One thing you need to realize about relationships is that they aren't always smooth sailing. A couple of the skills you need to develop before you can have a successful long term relationship are (a) being able to forgive the occasional unpleasant realities of your partner and (b) being able to defuse a problem between the two of you without laying all the blame on the partner.

Of course, the partner has the same hill to climb so no matter how good you get at it, if she's not trying to do the same it can still fail. I don't know whether this gal is someone you can be happy with or not, but most likely, both of you have some responsibility for how this weekend went. And I'm not talking about the fact that you forgot your shirt. I'm mostly talking about how the two of you interacted when these hurdles confronted you. Defensiveness and blame begets more defensiveness and blame and a mild bump in the road can turn into a significant fight pretty easily.

Whether you work on your reconciliation skills with this girl or not, you're going to have to do it at some point. It's when you can both work at fixing relationship snafus that you can really say you have a meaningful relationship. Until then, you're really just along for the ride.
That sounds like way too much work.....

DaKCMan AP 06-10-2013 01:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv (Post 9741475)
Something in particular happen, or was it just outside forces? Sorry to hear it.
Not any one particular event or disagreement or anything. It'd been passively on life support for the past 2-3 weeks. Just not 'right' for each other and I'd been traveling a good portion of the last month so that put a strain on things too.

luv 06-10-2013 01:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9741485)
It's hard to believe you can be so gaga over her one week and then let a few bumps in the road like this derail the situation completely. One thing you need to realize about relationships is that they aren't always smooth sailing. A couple of the skills you need to develop before you can have a successful long term relationship are (a) being able to forgive the occasional unpleasant realities of your partner and (b) being able to defuse a problem between the two of you without laying all the blame on the partner.

Of course, the partner has the same hill to climb so no matter how good you get at it, if she's not trying to do the same it can still fail. I don't know whether this gal is someone you can be happy with or not, but most likely, both of you have some responsibility for how this weekend went. And I'm not talking about the fact that you forgot your shirt. I'm mostly talking about how the two of you interacted when these hurdles confronted you. Defensiveness and blame begets more defensiveness and blame and a mild bump in the road can turn into a significant fight pretty easily.

Whether you work on your reconciliation skills with this girl or not, you're going to have to do it at some point. It's when you can both work at fixing relationship snafus that you can really say you have a meaningful relationship. Until then, you're really just along for the ride.
:thumb:

Valiant 06-10-2013 01:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv (Post 9740837)
You can see when people were last online, who's viewed your profile and when, etc.
What site? And is that a paid feature?

Valiant 06-10-2013 02:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9741485)
It's hard to believe you can be so gaga over her one week and then let a few bumps in the road like this derail the situation completely. One thing you need to realize about relationships is that they aren't always smooth sailing. A couple of the skills you need to develop before you can have a successful long term relationship are (a) being able to forgive the occasional unpleasant realities of your partner and (b) being able to defuse a problem between the two of you without laying all the blame on the partner.

Of course, the partner has the same hill to climb so no matter how good you get at it, if she's not trying to do the same it can still fail. I don't know whether this gal is someone you can be happy with or not, but most likely, both of you have some responsibility for how this weekend went. And I'm not talking about the fact that you forgot your shirt. I'm mostly talking about how the two of you interacted when these hurdles confronted you. Defensiveness and blame begets more defensiveness and blame and a mild bump in the road can turn into a significant fight pretty easily.

Whether you work on your reconciliation skills with this girl or not, you're going to have to do it at some point. It's when you can both work at fixing relationship snafus that you can really say you have a meaningful relationship. Until then, you're really just along for the ride.
This. The shirt might be another issue. The breakfast is her not wanting a scene. These instances are part of relationships.

Valiant 06-10-2013 02:05 PM
Seriously, who forgets a shirt.

Donger 06-10-2013 02:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valiant (Post 9741564)
Seriously, who forgets a shirt.
Hell, I went on a trip last week and forgot to bring ANY underwear.

Valiant 06-10-2013 02:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9741567)
Hell, I went on a trip last week and forgot to bring ANY underwear.
Your name is donger. You freeball.

luv 06-10-2013 02:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valiant (Post 9741538)
What site? And is that a paid feature?
I use OKCupid. I don't pay for anything.

The Franchise 06-10-2013 02:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valiant (Post 9741564)
Seriously, who forgets a shirt.
My wife. She forgets tons of shit. I keep telling her that she needs to get her brain checked out.

Hammock Parties 06-10-2013 02:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP (Post 9741458)
You & me both, Buck. My relationship 'officially' ended yesterday.
This is two or three failed relationships for you in the last year or so, isn't it?

Do you simply attract crazy?

patteeu 06-10-2013 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls (Post 9741691)
This is two or three failed relationships for you in the last year or so, isn't it?

Do you simply attract crazy?
Maybe he attracts women who aren't looking for someone who think's he's the most awesome thing in any room he enters. Just a wild guess.

Hammock Parties 06-10-2013 02:56 PM
Actually I'm guessing he attracts very hot women, because he's a well-off good looking guy. And hot equals crazy. Especially down there.

DaKCMan AP 06-10-2013 03:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls (Post 9741691)
This is two or three failed relationships for you in the last year or so, isn't it?

Do you simply attract crazy?
No. The girls I've been in relationships with are pretty amazing - the relationships just haven't worked out for varying reasons. The last one that got to this level of seriousness was 3 years ago.

The others weren't more than casual dating & the one that ended a year ago this time was because the girl moved away.

DaKCMan AP 06-10-2013 03:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9741704)
Maybe he attracts women who aren't looking for someone who think's he's the most awesome thing in any room he enters. Just a wild guess.
LMAO


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