Mr Fax, we should probably declare war on each other, so the US Gubmint will come around and offer us a lot of money to sign a nonagression pact. We could join the UN and demand big bribes from the Dictator's club to vote against the Benign Imperialists.

I think we have found the motherlode. Between all the bribes and the icky sticky chicky, we're on to something good here.

BOCF and FAX, as the respective leaders of your sovereign nations you may be interested in knowing that here in RJakistan our primary exports are marijuana, beer, holster bikinis, prophylactics and, of course, potatoes. Hey, you gotta eat, right?

Considering Faxonia's economy being dependent on tourism and BigOlChiefsFanLand's economy being dependent on government, perhaps we might enter into an arrangement that would benefit RJakistan's export needs while meeting the hedonistic requirements of your societies. We'd love to do some bidness.

My people might not love me, but they're damn hard workers.

One important factor that has been neglected in this discussion is pet policies. Do we know which countries allow pets?

I'd stay in Canada.

Seedycoxstansia affectionately welcomes all pets.

I'm sure there is a spot for your kitties in Thailand










right next to the rice!

In RJakistan we do allow pets up to the age that they can be eaten. RJakistanians enjoy good barbecue.

BBQ in RJakistan? Odd, I would have thought that RJakistan would have been known for its green chile.

We have both. No better place to roast green chile - as well as cats - than over the grill. The aroma will drive you crazy!

I'll have a gatito burrito with green, please.

What about deposits? I would never move to the Central African Republic because I hear they require first and last month's rent.

With potatoes and cheese?

Yes, I think BigOlChiefsfanlandia can do bidness with RJakistan. We want to import marijuana, beer and potatoes. Another national motto will be "This bud, this Bud, and this spud's for you!"

We will export Che tee shirts and handmade bongs to college campuses of all nations. Without regard to degree declarations, creed, race, religion or color. And we will export weapons. We will recycle old James Bond supervillain technology (we're so green!)

"Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?"
"No, I expect you to DIE, Mr. Bond"

Here at BigOlChiefsfanlandia we don't expect you to die. Unless you don't buy! So bring your end-user certificate and come on down today to BigOlChiefsfanlandia's House of Villainy. Free goldpainted concubine with every superweapon purchase!

Ireland, England or Australia so I wouldn't have to learn a new language.

I would have to give Costa Rica strong consideration. I went there for a week in June and the place is amazing. Very safe for a Latin American country plus the women are smoking hot. The beaches and national parks are beautiful. There's these hotsprings up in the northern part of the country that are heated by a volcano.

There's also a large ex-pat community down there as well but the locals are cool as hell and very friendly.

Brazil. The only reason why I would leave this country is because the Feds are after me. And Brazil doesn't extradite criminals like mePBJ