It's about being and staying engaged as an active part of as much of her life as possible. If it's just known from the get go the this is the policy for all boys, she won't be as inclined to rebel as if you try to selectively apply it.

Also as much as they push back, teenagers actually still crave that feeling that you want to know what they're up to and be part of their lives. Think of the most well-adjusted kids from your high school. They were usually the ones who did lots of activities in which their parents were also involved, and were still buddies with their parents to some degree (while the mal-adjusted kids were usually the opposite).

Because I don't want to open that door just yet.
Next year yes... Not this year though.
Hell, if she's chatting about cup sizes and how far she's been with guys, that let's me know she's not ready to have conversations on the fon with boys at the moment.

See my progressions from previous post. Not rushing a thing.

They have nothing to discuss fruitful at the moment and it's an issue I'd rather not deal with at the moment.

SPOT ON! :thumb:
Makes hella sense!

You in the Hickman District? I went there and i know they just started that.

Honestly. Don't really have much advise. I have to do it in 10 years and i know it will be the hardest part of raising a girl. She is going to 14, dab in the middle of puberty. You see her as daddy's little girl, and you will probably always see her that way, but truth of the matter is, She's growing up. in 2 years she'll be dating and going to proms etc. Its hard to sit back and watch your little girl become a woman.

As far as the phone, she broke a rule. You know she did but she doesn't know you know. Ask her, and see if she will be truthful with you. She has to know that you mean business. You set the boundary of "no boys", you have to follow it. Grounding her from the phone for 2 weeks seems reasonable. You aren't grounding her because of the kissing a boy, you're doing it because she broke the rule of communicating with the boy on the phone.

Thats all i have man...

No. BS.

She's probably not allowed to date so there is no need to be talking to them on he phone unless it was like a childhood friend

This :thumb:

I feel where you're coming from. Im dreading the day i have to deal with it. I just say if you taught her morals growing up all you need to do is reinforce them along the way and thats pretty much all you can do. Just let her know you care and you'll be there for her through good and bad. After that, you'll just have to sloooooowly start letting go. She's her own person and will ultimately do what she wants. Girls are sneaky as hell

One thing that helped me was reading that teenagers brains aren't wired correctly yet. I forget all the details, but basically they're predisposed to all kinds of mood swings, impulsive behavior, judgement errors, bad ethical decisions, faulty reasoning, etc. For me anyway, putting it in that light helped me not take any of that stuff personally, or fear my kid was going to turn out that way.

Instead I looked at it more as a problem of how to get through to her w/o pushing her away or laying it on too thick. For example, one of my favorite moves is to tell some story about how stupid I was in HS on some point I want to get across to her. That way instead of a confrontational lecture, I get the same point across with an entertaining story. Luckily I ****ed up about every way imaginable in HS, and so have an endless repertoire of stories in this area.

To be sure, getting through to a teen is a very tricky problem, and a constantly moving target. But if you can eliminate the personal aspect, it becomes a little more manageable imo. Good luck!

Ok, so you have a boundary that she wasn't to use her phone for talking to guys. She broke that. There needs to be a consequence. Two weeks without the phone sounds about right for a first offense.

My last advice would be to take some time now to think about your timetable with the progression of talking to boys on the phone, dating, curfews and the like. The whole process of your daughter growing up is going to be incredibly uncomfortable for you. There is really no escaping that feeling. So given that you are not going to like the process, what is the timeline for the progression? How are you going to manage your discomfort?

Great point. I figure next year she'll be allowed to talk to boys... I'm guessing 10th grade she'll be dating.

I do know she had a bf earlier this year.

This is why I thank the 6 lb baby jesus every day that Lumpy and I didn't have a girl. Kids nowadays are having sexual relationships younger and younger every generation. That being said, there's really not a lot you can do but try to have a mature conversation with her and hope she's got a good enough head on her shoulders to do the right thing.
If you try to force your authority on her and punish her, etc. she'll just become more rebellious and likely act out.
Just my .02 man. Good luck with all that.
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Hmm...

I could see his at 17 or 18...

but 20?

20 is still young...but a child at 20 isn't something to really frown at...mistake or not.

16? 17? 18 even...? Yeah...I'd agree.

lets get back to this 20 year old daughter though...she into older guys?! Older guys with low ceilings?

Let me know.

well tell her about the dangers of flirting but don't cut her nose off to spite her face. Let her have the phone but tell her that you love her and you just want to make she safe cause boys are always trying to make girls do uncomfortable things. Also she don't want any labels on her.

the problem with teenage daughters is some of them develop extremely fast...

I mean, lets be honest...

This is going to scare everyone...when I was 16 I landed my first real girlfriend...she was a freshmen in high school and she could have easily passed as a senior looks wise...started her period when she was 12...very developed...basically the week she turned 15 we had been dating for 2 months or so and had "messed around" quite frequently...

at that point I was just happy to have landed the girl I had been after since the day I first saw her at school for the 1st time...I had yet to have a real girlfriend and she was the first girl I really had a HUGE crush on (before that I was more into fantasy baseball than girls)...

anyways I had no idea what the process of "messing around" was...I just assumed we were nowhere close to having sex...and then she basically demanded it one day (she was 15)...I didn't even have to push for it.

Fast forward 10 years and that girl and I are still decent enough friends...and she's not a slutty girl by any means (which surprises me a bit lol)...

She was just ahead of the curve when she was 15...15 mentally for sure...but physically? She was a woman at a very young age...

Shit I was 16.5 and she was just 15 and in terms of the "puberty process"...she was a full blown adult and I still couldn't grow a lick of facial hair.