I feel ya, I have had a meaningful conversation with a woman in five years let alone anything more than that.

Hey have I ever told you guys the story about the time I crapped my pants in prison?

Nope.

the best way to avoid ass sex? end result? :D

Isn't pooping your prison kind of like someone dancing bad at a hall wedding? I mean someone is bound to break out the chicken dance.

I just want to say I'm proud to call KurtCobain my friend.


Made the Super Bowl Partay in Kansas City a real treat.

Me too.

I'm glad you're doing better. I'm just from a ball busting background so don't take it personally.

Keep it up. You seem like a good guy who just messed up.

Thanks. Lol but I don't remember you busting my balls ?


I think i remember though

Finish the story, man!

In 2018 one day I realized I hadn't pooped in two days and as a result, my stomach was pretty wrecked. I put in a medical request, but it was ignored. About five days later I still had not took a shit, and I was getting pretty sick. I was going through hot and cold flashes. We were watching the Chiefs Rams game in my cell and I couldn't even enjoy it because I had to wear all of my clothes plus my blanket and my cellmates blanket just to stay warm. A CO saw me and told me to fill out another medical request and he'd make sure it got to a nurse.

The next day I went to medical and saw the super hot young nurse. She said oh my God you look terrible, I told her I haven't shit in over a week and I think my body is mad about it. She brought me these two brown pills and some water. I asked her if this would help me poop and she giggled and said yes.

Three hours later I'm on the toilet, but no bueno. I'm sitting in a common area talking to somebody's telling them I don't think those pills worked when I stand up and try to fart. BOOM! My pants filled up with shit so fast, and it didn't stop there it was running onto the floor I take off down the hall to the toilet and there's just a streak of water poop behind me. Shit everywhere, guys, down both legs ruined my socks and my shoes. Thought it was pretty funny, so did everyone else, unfortunately, that story got told to new people a million times.

We have a patient on our unit that usually says off the wall shit and he complains a lot about not taking a shit. So yesterday morning wanted me to take a scalpel and cut open his rear end so he could shit. I told him that was out of my scope of practice and that he should put in a request to the doctor witch I quoted him "take a scalpel and cut my rear end so I can shit. I've had it done before and it works" And i turned that request in to the doctor. i love my job you cannot make this shit up.

That's gnarly.

Back when I used to use opioids a lot my shit stop I'd have to dig it out of my own ass.