Dipshit Kylo leaves his lightsaber on the ruins of the Death Star after Mary Sue stabs him in the chest with it, and then heals him enough to keep him from dying. So everything his character has done for and with the First Order up to that point is tossed aside like Luke nonchalantly chucking his father's lightsaber over the cliff, because Kylo has a post-asswhipping vision of Han Solo telling him it's never too late to return to the light.

Han Solo.

The smuggler with ZERO force ability.

Not Anakin/Vader who Kylo has been feverishly spanking his force monkey to for three ****ing films, but Han Solo.

So, dipshit goes back to Palpatine's lair with NO WEAPON, intending to join Mary Sue and help her defeat the Sith Lord. Palpatine siphons enough force essence from these two morons to rejuvenate himself to an Episode III state, and then promptly kills the village idiot who came to the gun fight with a slingshot.
A fitting end for a character so horribly written and executed.

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This .....is......terrible. JFC.

Palpatine...**** you with this...

...I've said it before, this is my last Star Wars movie. They just don't know how to make it compelling any more. Yes, the action is pretty cool, but that's not what Star Wars was to me. After the shitty prequels, I enjoyed TFA, even if it was a stupid ass reboot. TLJ killed my enthusiasm.

I'll watch this one, but I don't have high hopes.

That DeepFake was awesome...

"OH, you dropped something. The plot."

LMAO

I'm 100% with you. I loved the first three -- watched each like 50 times on HBO when cable was new, options were few, and repeats were many.

But ever since it's a gigantic pile of meh or worse, outside a few action scenes. Rogue One is the only movie I would call legitimately "very good" since the first three.

Saw a couple of leaked pictures. If you've seen the leaked plot synopsis, it's dead on accurate.

What sucks the most is that a fantastic trilogy sequel exists with the Thrawn books. Instead of rolling with that, Disney chose to say that everything outside their new timeline never happened.

I really don't want to know what the leaks say, so just sum it up - excellent, meh, or a disaster?

And oh yeah - why the hell does JJ have a fascination with starships under water? It was kinda cool with the Enterprise, but an entire Star Destroyer?

Divisive. I do think most will like it better than TLJ, but that's a laughably low bar to set.

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That's like saying you'll like a glass of lukewarm water more than a glass of sour milk.

I feel like I'm in the minority as far as the apparent general reaction to the trailer, but it didn't do much for me aside from the tear-jerking line from C3PO and the voice of Carrie Fisher ending it.

Pretty much. I do know they test screened several different endings in an attempt to get a feel for how audiences would best respond. They're absolutely scared shitless at the thought of having another flop on their hands that the fan base would tear to shreds.

Hizzah! Does that mean you're done posting about this movie that doesn't exist?

oh...

and yet...

they clearly exist

I still think it's a little nuts talking about Last Jedi like it was a flop. Gemini Man...that's a flop. But Last Jedi netted over a billion and a quarter. Bad movie? Sure. You can argue that. Pretty easily. But a flop? Yeah, not going there.

And there's no way Rise of Skywalker is pulling something like Solo numbers. They could print copies of J.J. Abrams taking a dump on Darth Vader's helmet and it would still clear a billion globally. Hell, it'll probably make 2, just for being the "end of the saga".

Totally. I think TLJ is the second best SW movie made so far, to date. But I can understand why people don't like it. And you're exactly right about this one. Whether people dislike the movie or not it's gonna make bank.

Imagine JJ Abrams trying to piece together a propulsive crowd pleaser after TLJ tried to be a risk-taking game-changer with the franchise.

I think it’ll be a decent watch. But if the leaks are right, I’m not sure if Disney will be able to justify why these movies were worth worth making in the first place, a problem the prequels had as well.

Time has smiled on the prequels - it’s quite possible that the same thing will happen with these flicks.

Time has "smiled" on the prequels for two major reasons:

1) A completely scripted, propaganda push by Disney whereby a bunch of paid "opinion pieces" singing the praises of those sad movies began popping up all over the web shortly after the acquisition of Lucasfilm, and

2) As hard as it is to believe, there WAS in fact a worse and shittier way to create and execute a Star Wars film that made George's incoherent prequels look like masterful works of art by comparison.

If I had to rewatch them again, this is what I'd be thinking.

Star Wars Episode I: Meh maybe if I'm really bored and feeling nostalgic for pod racing for some reason + end fight scene.
Star Wars Episode II: Jango vs Obi Wan + last thirty minutes
Star Wars Episode III: Everything from Mace Windu vs Emporer on
Star Wars Episode IV: Whole movie
Star Wars Episode V: Whole movie
Star Wars Episode VI: Whole movie
Star Wars Episode VII: Whole movie
Star Wars Episode VIII: Everything from Snoke vs Kylo + Rey onward
Star Wars Episode IX: To be continued...

3) Legitimately the prequel memes subreddit.

I can't imagine a more disappointing Star Wars experience than seeing The Phantom Menace in a theater in Harrisonburg, VA back in '99, a few months before I moved to KC. It was on par with seeing George Clooney's Batman & Robin while I was working at Interlochen over the summer of '97.

Batman & Robin was a worse movie, but I don't think anything will ever equal the sheer level of disappointment I felt by the end of TPM. So much hype and anticipation, with such great characters in Qui-Gon and Maul, neither of whom survived to the sequel. Pair that with turning Darth Vader into squeaky, whiny Jake Lloyd, introducing midichlorians and giving us hours of dull ass politics portrayed by some of the worst acting ever, and it completely killed any interest I had in any more new Star Wars movies for years.

Nothing in or about either The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi can hold a candle to that level of IP destruction for me. And Attack of the Clones...I know I saw it, probably out of misplaced duty as a life-long SW fan, but I was pretty dead inside after TPM, doubtless had zero positive expectations, and remember absolutely nothing about either the movie or my experience watching it.

Revenge of the Sith I remember slightly more fondly, but really only for a couple fight scenes and some great scoring. But it wasn't nearly enough to redeem the first two prequels.


The only real positive about the prequels is that they gave us the animated Clone Wars, which was far and away the best canonical non-OT part of Star Wars until Rogue One.

Is your barf-bag at the ready?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5Q498xR1zE

Holy shit lmao

I can’t wait for the rage.

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:D

Finally saw it. It was okay, the scenes with the original cast were sort of just stuck into place. Lando didn't do anything. Parts of the movie made no sense; Force healing? I guess that came from the same place as the intergalactic transporter in Star Trek. I get that they needed to end this thing.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Now that <a href="https://twitter.com/themandalorian?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@themandalorian</a> secret is out-might as well reveal I am vocally represented in ALL SW films except the Prequels. Thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/matthewood?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@matthewood</a> for using me in Rogue One, Solo &amp; the Sequels, so I DO have lines in <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/EpVII?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#EpVII</a>. Hint: Look for parts played by Patrick Williams.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TrueStory?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TrueStory</a> <a href="https://t.co/kRQlo7uub8">https://t.co/kRQlo7uub8</a></p>&mdash; Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) <a href="https://twitter.com/HamillHimself/status/1274433056405741568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 20, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Awesome.

I mean, Mark Hammill IS Star Wars. The way Disney did Luke is just about criminal.

^^
Yeah it truly was criminal. Han & Luke should have been given one last mission together imo at least.

I ended up renting this at my public library (of all places) for FREE and it was terrible/cringeworthy to say the least but oh well at least I didn't have to pay money to see it.

LMAO There's rumors that they're going to essentially wipe the sequel trilogy from existence and reset it.

https://cosmicbook.news/disney-reset...eGsQas7C6ZNJG8

That would be awesome

*Palpatine voice*

"Do it!"

https://bookingagentinfo.com/wp-cont...nformation.jpg

I’d enjoy seeing Rey as a sith in a reimaged star wars and getting killed in the first movie

According to Doomcock.... LMAO

That website is consistently horseshit.

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So watching this on TNT. Light speed skipping? Never heard of that before this movie.

Watched part of it as well. That ending is so, so lazy that it actually made me angry. Horses galloping on the hull of a Star Destroyer? Haha, come on with all that. Nic Cage's Superman movie might have been better than this mess. JJ had nothing to work with coming in after TLJ debacle, so I don't "necessarily" blame him. But damn man, TRoS was just a convoluted mess as it attempted to make up for the warts of the last movie.

How does Disney just so completely screw up a sure thing? I sincerely hope someone retcons those three movies at some point.

Crazily enough, the first script that Disney threw out in favor of the J.J. experience was much, much better than the complete mess we ended up receiving.

Yea. It was an obvious attempt to clean up the mess.

Full of fan service which made zero sense like bringing back Palpatine as the mastermind pulling the strings.

Red Letter Media's idea for the movie was amazing.

The Ewoks turning into a Emperor-worshipping death cult? Take my money.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Daisy Ridley is back!!!<br><br>Rey will be the Jedi Master leading a new Jedi Order in an upcoming Star Wars film set 15 years after The Rise of Skywalker <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/StarWars?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#StarWars</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/StarWarsCelebration?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#StarWarsCelebration</a> <a href="https://t.co/7b8VcJ1o2S">pic.twitter.com/7b8VcJ1o2S</a></p>&mdash; Star Wars Holocron @ SWCE (@sw_holocron) <a href="https://twitter.com/sw_holocron/status/1644306690395852801?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 7, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Lame.

i wanna go with a crew of incels and boo the whole time in front of the SJW purple haired throng

Ugh. Ridley herself is a bit down the list of problems with the first Disney Trilogy, but I was kind of hoping they'd just cut their losses and abandon everything from that trilogy altogether.

Gotta think there’s no way Boyega signs on to this.

I know you all are way more fans of the franchise than I am. After the Last Jedi I just can't get myself to give a shit about anything Star Wars related. I still need to watch Picard though someday. I love what I'm reading in the thread here.

What trilogy?

Star Trek already had their Rey bullshit with that god awful Discovery series.

They learned from it. The Mouse doesn't learn a goddamn thing apparently.

Somehow...Daisey Ridley has returned.

You guys don't get it.

They don't care what the fans want. They will shove the ideological themes down your throat.

Lol, exactly

40 years. What the hell.

I can't be alone hoping that they'll just memory hole VII, VIII, and IX, and just start over and tell a proper story. Sans Disney, of course.

Will likely never happen, but this is my dream.

If they get Rey to turn heel it might be interesting.

After the last 3 turds I won’t be holding my breath.

dark rey would get me in the theater

maybe she could **** one of her students

ridley needs some fake tits tho

If I learn Filoni and Favreau are helming this project, sign me the **** up right now. Otherwise, I reserve the right to hate it.

*EDIT - never ****ing mind

filoni and favreau proved that male fantasy should have stayed male

especially since the best characters in the fem version WERE ****ING MEN

Not really. The out of this world excitement for the Ashoka series proves that fanboys will get behind a women driven fantasy when the women are written as fun, nuanced characters with clear motivations other than “I AM A STRONG FEMALE AND NO MAN CAN GET IN MY WAY”

Yet to be proven. Ashoka is a supporting character.

https://media.tenor.com/d0-ydN4L1EUA...ye-rolling.gif

Jyn Erso from Rogue One, if you want to be all shitposter about it.

Wasn't the main character, and Jyn was weak.

Star Wars is always BETTER when it has a male lead.

You should actually be terrified they're going to **** up Ashoka because the whole thing is just dripping with chicks.

Who wants a Master Rey movie?

Make it stop.

look what disney did to star wars culture

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="qme" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mood?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#mood</a> <a href="https://t.co/53BYCE1ZWP">https://t.co/53BYCE1ZWP</a> <a href="https://t.co/POBGdhH50B">pic.twitter.com/POBGdhH50B</a></p>&mdash; 산스 (@star_SS5) <a href="https://twitter.com/star_SS5/status/1662769423651053571?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 28, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>